Welcome to Part 1 of the Get Out Of Your Own Way Series (aka the GOOYOW Series). In this episode, I’m sharing 3 reasons why you get in your own way in your business even though you’re smart and absolutely full-to-the-brim of potential. If you struggle with procrastination, overthinking and not following through on what you planned – this episode is for you.
Part 2 and 3 of the series will drop over the next 48 hours. And in Part 3 I’ll be sharing a special opportunity to do the work of getting out of your own way inside Perfectionists Getting Shit Done. This is something that I haven’t offered since 2023 and don’t know when I’ll be offering it again. We get started on Monday, 17 August and you want to be part of it.
If you’re ready to get out of your own way in your business, you want to join my coaching program Perfectionists Getting Shit Done (PGSD). Sign up now at samlaurabrown.com/pgsd.
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FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
Introduction
This is the Perfectionism Project, the only podcast created specifically for perfectionists who are building businesses. I’m your host, Sam Laura Brown, perfectionism expert and entrepreneur. I teach perfectionists how to plan properly, consistently follow through and rest without guilt so they can build profitable and fulfilling businesses without burning out.
I’ve helped over a thousand perfectionist entrepreneurs do exactly that inside my program, Perfectionist Getting Shit Done. If you’re tired of procrastinating, overthinking and half finishing your ideas, you’re in the right place. Now, let’s dive in.
Sam Laura Brown (Start of episode)
Okay, so this is a three part series on how to get out of your own way. My favorite topic as a perfectionist entrepreneur. How do you stop stopping yourself from doing the things that you know you need to do? How do you stop procrastinating and overthinking and getting in your own way? So this series is going to be a three part series. Usually I do a five part series, but for this one, I’m just really feeling called to do a three part series to share about how to get out of your own way.
As always, I’ll be sharing my own stories, really practical, helpful stuff to help you actually get out of your own way. This isn’t about like, here’s how to motivate yourself or here’s how to be more disciplined or like, here’s how to just, you know, just go and do it and get it done. And remember, done is better than perfect. None of that I’m going to be sharing instead what actually works. And I’m going to be inviting you in to something that we are doing inside perfectionist getting shit done starting on the seventeenth of August.
That is going to help you get out of your own way and make that simple and something you can actually do so that you can create meaningful momentum in your business. If you have a painful gap like that, that for me, it’s a pang in my chest when I experience it. The pain of having a business that isn’t what you know it could be. And you can see like you have self doubt, you have imposter syndrome. Those things are going on, but you so deeply know that you can be successful and that your business isn’t where it could be. And that pain, that feeling that you have, that you’re not reaching your potential and you know you have potential. And even though you doubt it at times, you know it’s there.
That being able to get out of your own way is what allows you to close the gap between where you are and where you know you could be. And this series is going to be super practical, but actually, I’m going to start with a story and then I’m going to get into three reasons you get in your own way and just, I’ve got notes here, just like little scribbles that I’ve written down, but I’ve been thinking about you and I’ve been thinking about what it’s like to be in your own way, because this has been my work from day one. And by the way, with this series, I’m thinking about two people. Number one, I’m thinking about you who has listened to this podcast for a long time. You have been thinking about being a client of mine inside perfectionist, getting shit done.
You know that perfectionism is something that holds you back in your business and is making you procrastinate and overthink and get in your own way. And I’m also thinking about you. If you were the person who you’ve only just found this podcast in the last few days or weeks or months, and you aren’t familiar with all the things that I teach and that I share. So I’m thinking about both of you. And this is going to be just a series that I know I’m going to point people back to time and time again, because I just want to share the core of how to get out of your own way and then invite you into something really incredible that we are doing together, live as a community inside perfectionist getting shit done.
So for me, as I mentioned, getting out of my own way has always been my work when it comes to business. And it’s not that I didn’t have things to learn like marketing and sales. I’m a smart person. I have a law degree, I have a finance degree. I then went on to work in accounting at one of the big law firms, law firms, accounting firms here in Brisbane. I still had things to learn about business, but figuring out how to learn stuff and like getting new knowledge was never going to be my issue for business. My issue was perfectionism, and would I be able to just actually do the things I knew I needed to do?
Would I have the confidence? Would I have the consistency, the ability to follow through with my plans and take an idea from an idea all the way through to being completed and published and out in the world? And if you’re familiar with my story, you will know that when I started my business, I did not even know I was a perfectionist. I just thought I had this massive motivation problem. I used to write about it on my blog. I started as a blogger. I used to write about, like me trying to figure out how to stay motivated to do the things I was trying to do, to post consistently on my blog, to do yoga and to do fitness challenges. And like I just was so exasperated by the fact that I knew I had potential and I knew I could be really successful, and yet I would stop myself from following through on the things that I wanted to do.
I was like, what? What the hell is going on? Like what? What is this? Because I feel like I’m smart enough that I shouldn’t actually be having this problem. What is going on? And so this has been my work. It still is my work. This is why thirteen years after starting my business, I have been still talking to this same topic. And I never run out of things to say because I have so much deep personal experience. And now obviously I coach clients inside, perfectionist getting shit done. So I’ve helped so many people as well with this. But my own experience with like, no matter what level of business I’m at and I have become very successful, I have achieved a lot.
My ultimate goal was being full time in my business and being able to leave the corporate world, and I was able to do that. I had then four kids within four years, I was still able to pay myself a full time income and be able to have the work life balance that I wanted. Like I have been able to succeed. And also my perfectionist brain just keeps turning that perfectionism handbrake on. So I just want to share everything that I’m sharing. Is it from like, I’ve never gotten in my own way and I don’t know why you do and you should just stop. That is not the angle here. I am just sharing like this has been my biggest issue in business and also my obsession to figure out and to help other people figure it out. Because it is the unlock it has. It has just been the unlock for me when I could get out of my own way.
That is what shifted things because as I said, I knew what I needed to do. I was smart enough. If I needed to learn something about marketing, I could learn it. If I needed to learn something about sales, I could learn it. If I need to learn something about setting things up on my computer and a website and all of that. Even though I wasn’t techy, I could learn it. It was just could I actually follow through consistently on the things that I needed to do? Could I put myself out there? Could I confidently sell and tell people what I was offering and what the price was? And like my perfectionist brain just being so scared of refund requests and people being like, oh my God, like, who do you think you are to even be doing this? Like all of that perfectionist noise and mental drama that was going on, that was my work.
That has still been my work. And so I share all of this with you from the perspective of I deeply know what it’s like. I deeply know what it’s like to be in your own way, and to be trying to figure out how to get out of your own way and to not be getting traction with that. And then I know what it’s like to get out of your own way and to have traction with that, and to have momentum and to feel the wind behind your back, that you are finally making progress and creating momentum and moving forward.
And you can feel that even if you’re not at your goal yet, that it’s compounding and that you’re on track and that you’re headed in the right direction and that the things you’re doing actually paying off, and it’s actually worth the effort and the juggle of figuring out if you’re working full time or you have little ones like I do, or you’re just in a busy season in your personal life, that it’s worth the effort. Like the things you’re doing in your business are actually paying off. Like I know so deeply what the before feels like and what the after feels like of that. And this series I’m creating is to help you bridge that gap.
I’m going to show you the path for how to bridge that gap, how to go from being in your own way to being out of your own way because it is the most meaningful, impactful, important work that you can do If you are a perfectionist and you are building a business. Then you’re not going to be having these issues with like, I’m just not smart. It’s can you actually follow through? Can you make decisions? Can you put yourself out there? Can you bounce back from failure? Can you handle a refund request or a bad review? And like all the fears that we have of as perfectionists, that we won’t be able to handle anything but a perfect attempt, and then a perfect result and a perfect response from the world.
I want you to be resilient. I want you to be able to put yourself out there and feel confident. And even though your perfectionist brain says, let me just get some more knowledge, maybe that’ll finally do it. Even though I’m smart and even though I know so much, and even though I feel like probably I am ready, maybe I’m not. Maybe if I just get this a little bit more knowledge, a certification, learn a bit more about marketing and sales, then I’ll be ready. But if you’re going to learn anything, you want to learn the skills of getting out of your own ways, ways, ways, way, getting out of your own way.
So with that said, for me, like, especially at the beginning, oh my God, I just felt so embarrassed. And I always say this on a coaching call this week. I was so deeply embarrassed to have a business, to even be thinking that I could have a business, a real business, and that I was showing up and sharing stuff. I kept it a secret for a year from everyone, including my husband, Steve. We were dating at the time. We’d been dating for seven years. He’s super loving and supportive, but I was just so embarrassed. I didn’t tell my friends. I just like I was just my main thought was like, who do I think I am?
And I thought everyone else would be thinking that. And it made it so hard to show up and to put myself out there and just this debilitating level of fear, of judgment and fear of I didn’t even have anything for sale at the start for the first three years. Like I was just so scared to be even marketing and creating anything and putting that out there and letting the world know that I thought I had potential. And I’m going to be talking about potential in this series, because one of the ways that with perfectionists thinking, one of the ways it manifests is that we protect ourselves from really having to find out that we don’t have as much potential as we think we protect our potential instead of pursuing it because it feels so scary to find out, potentially, that we don’t have as much potential as we think we have.
And so we get in our own way and stop ourselves from reaching our potential for fear of finding out that we don’t have the potential we think we have. And so there’s so much courage involved in getting out of your own way. This is why there’s support and perfectionists getting shit done, and why community is such an important aspect. Plus learning the skills emotionally and technically of being able to have courage and what that looks like, and how to support yourself to do that, because this is a courageous thing we are talking about here. Let’s be honest, getting out of your own way requires bravery, because fear is what is making you get in your own way. And a particular perfectionist fear that I’m going to be talking about as well in this part one of the series.
So let me just share with you what I’m going to be sharing in this series. So part one, today I am going to be talking about why you keep getting in your own way in your business. We’re going to deep dive into that, and I’m going to be sharing three reasons that you get in your own way, even though you’re smart, even though you are absolutely full to the brim of potential. In the second part, I am going to be sharing the three simple steps to getting out of your own way. As I said, I have deep, deep, deep experience with this, and I have been obsessed with figuring this out for myself. And first of all, figuring out what perfectionism is and then, okay, what do we do about that? Because just remembering done is better than perfect. That isn’t working for me. And so what do I actually do?
So I want to share with you the three simple steps that are super practical, super actionable to get out of your own way. And then in part three, I’m going to be sharing how to get out of your own way in five weeks, and I’m going to be inviting you into something incredible that we are doing live together as a community inside perfectionist, getting shit done. Starting on Monday the seventeenth of August. So if you are listening to this series live as it is going out on the podcast, you want to listen to each episode as they are released. And you want to get yourself inside perfectionist getting shit done and join us. But I’ll talk more about that throughout the series.
I just want to flag here that you want to be paying attention to this because all of your frustrations and exasperations with your business, but more importantly with yourself, are being caused by you getting in your own way and not knowing how simple and practical and and easy it can be to get out of your own way when you know how and when you have the right guidance and support there to help you do it as well. So with that said, let me just think for a second. Where do I want to start? I’m looking at my notes. I have a few different ways I could go. I feel like I’ve also started this multiple times within this episode and just shared a bunch of stuff, but I’m just trusting myself. This is a huge part of getting out of your own way, trusting yourself. I am trusting myself to share and that this is going to connect with you. I’m thinking about you and how important this is.
I’m trusting my own expertise more than a decade of experience with this personally and also helping others with it. So let me just start by sharing something that I wrote down, which is this is really the ultimate perfectionist fear. And just quickly side note, if you haven’t heard me talk at all about what perfectionism is, let me just start with that for a second. I’ll just do a little snapshot of that. So we’re all on the same page. So I thought for me that I was at a perfectionist because I wasn’t perfect enough to be a perfectionist. Perfectionists don’t procrastinate. They’re the person who’s super neat, super organized, and one of my clients said it this way and it’s so accurate.
I’m the most disorganized, organized person that I just felt like I loved a good, you know, organizing session and having things together and color coding all of that. Loved it. Like if you saw my university notes, like she’s organized. And also I would put things off I had in the boot of my car or the trunk of my car I had for a year just, it was full of stuff that needed to be taken inside the house that I just never got around to doing. Like that can’t be a perfectionist. Like that was my mentality like this. Like anytime anyone talked about perfectionism, I was like, okay, well, that’s not me. I do things at the last minute. I work super well under pressure, but I’m not a perfectionist.
I’m not the person who like gets a university assignment and then does it early and is just like, you know, super organized with it and hands it in and is perfect. And such a revelation for me was realizing that perfectionists aren’t perfect people. Perfectionists are people who are scared of not being perfect and who are scared of others finding out that we are not perfect. And so it’s less about doing everything perfectly and getting everything just right. Though we do try that, but because ultimately it is so hard to do that perfectionism for so many perfectionists, myself included. Typically, most of the time will manifest as getting in our own way and ways that we withhold, giving our best effort. Because if we don’t give our best effort, then no one ever gets to find out that we’re imperfect.
Because we could say, well, I didn’t really try my hardest. And we say that to ourselves more than anyone else. This used to happen for me all the time at university. I’d leave the assignment to the last minute, and then if I did super well, I’d be like to myself. In my head, I’m a genius because I didn’t even try my hardest. And then if I didn’t do well, I’d be like, well, I would have done better if I’d tried harder. And both times I got to really just like, feel my potential. Because when I didn’t do as well as I hoped I would, and I often did do well. So it kind of just reinforced that perfectionism that really didn’t help me in business, but was possible in school. But it really just enforced this idea that I had potential because I got to feel smart if I did well, and then if I didn’t do well, I got to feel like, well, that wasn’t because I’m not smart.
That’s just because I didn’t try. And so the five signs of perfectionism that I have observed after helping over a thousand perfectionist entrepreneurs and myself very closely, is these are all really ways that we stop ourselves from giving a full effort, or we try and try and try and try and try to give a full effort and just exhaust ourselves in the process. So the five signs are overthinking, procrastination, burnout, all or nothing thinking and fear of judgment. Those are the things that we do and that we have when we are in the perfectionist mindset and we are ultimately in the perfectionist fear. And this is what I am circling back to that I wrote down. This is the ultimate perfectionist fear. My best can’t get better. So if my best isn’t good enough now, it never will be.
So let me just keep learning and thinking and preparing and tweaking and practicing so I can make sure that when I do try, it is good enough and I want to. Oh, and I want oh, what did I even write? My my writing. I cannot read it. So I can make sure when I do try, it is good enough and I won’t get lost in a pit of despair. That is the fear that our best won’t be good enough. And because of the way we think in that perfectionist mindset, we see our best as something that can’t be improved. You know, you can get a little bit smarter or a little bit more talented or a little bit more skills. But ultimately, we feel like, especially in business, this is why perfectionism comes up so much in business and why I help perfectionist entrepreneurs.
Because for me, perfectionism came up so much in business because everything I did felt like a test of whether or not I was good enough. Every post, every email, every time I met someone, every time I went to sell, it all felt like one big fat test of whether or not I was good enough. And that made me get in my own way. That perfectionist, thinking that I had made me leave things to the last minute, then burn myself out. I used to burn myself out all the time in my business. When I was launching, I’d do a big launch and I’d burn out right after and just be a zombie for a week. I learned how to not burn myself out, but initially I didn’t know how to actually be all in on my business without burning myself out. I thought being all in was the same as burning yourself out. And then I was very scared to go all in because I was like, I don’t want to keep burning myself out.
There is a difference and I am pleased to share. You can go all in on your business without burning yourself out. They are different things. But all of that to say that your perfectionist brain is trying to protect you. It’s doing its best. It’s doing its best. It’s trying to protect you from the feelings that you will have about yourself. If you were to find out that your best isn’t good enough, and that you don’t have the potential that you deeply believe that you have. The flip side of this is that when we get in our own way and hold ourselves back, it is so god damn painful. It is so painful. I feel it for me as a pang in my chest. Like a really like someone’s like stabbing me when I think about it, when I’ve been in these situations many, many times where I feel like my business isn’t where I know it could be. And that is so painful.
It’s painful to show up and put ourselves out there and do all the things that we need to do to build the business without overthinking and all of that. And also, it is so painful to know that you could be more successful than you are, and to feel like you are just trying everything to be successful and to make sure that when you do put the effort in, that the effort pays off, but then it doesn’t feel like it’s paying off and that you don’t feel like you’re making progress. And then you’re like, well, what do I even do? Because I feel like I’m trying my hardest. Like I actually am working so hard and trying my hardest. I’m committed to getting this business working and off the ground and succeeding consistently. But what is going on here? That was my thing.
Like what is happening? And no one is talking about this. Like people are just like, yeah, you just once you know what to do, you’ll be able to do it. That’s why so many people in PGSD when they come in, they have this fear of like, well, what if I don’t actually follow through on even the program itself? Because they have done other programs that have taught them important knowledge and skills like marketing and sales, but didn’t teach them the skill of being able to put yourself out there and show up when you have a perfectionist brain. How to follow through with your plans.
When you have a perfectionist brain that is trying to stop you at every single turn, it is creating resistance and all these smart ideas and distractions. So you end up in this cycle of stopping and starting thinking there’s something wrong with you, when actually it’s just you have a perfectionist brain and you haven’t learned yet how to work with it. so that you don’t get in your own way. I have a phrase that I created that I use called turning your perfectionism handbrake on, because when we get in our own way, it is that experience that you have this handbrake. Like you’re going towards your goal, but then you turn the handbrake on and you stop. You start and you stop, you make progress, and then your perfectionism comes up and you stop yourself.
And what we are doing and what I teach my clients how to do, our PGSDers how to do inside Perfectionist Getting shit done is how to, when the handbrake comes on, how to turn it off, and how to feel safe with it being off, how to feel safe in momentum, how to feel safe in progress. How to feel safe in success. How to update your self image so that and the way that you view yourself so that when you’re consistent and showing up up consistently. You aren’t worried like, okay, how long is this going to last? Instead, you’re now the person and in the identity. I’m the kind of person who posts consistently like, that’s just who I am. Of course I’m doing that. Of course it’s going to last.
If for some reason I fall off for a few days, that’s fine. I just keep going. That’s an identity thing, a self-image thing. It’s super important for perfectionists. So we do all of that work inside perfectionists getting shit done. I will share more about the program, but I’m going to keep telling you about it throughout all of this series, because if you resonate with any of this, you want to be inside PGSD, especially for what we’re going to be doing together. So I talked about there’s that perfectionist fear and we protect our potential instead of pursue it. We get in our own way instead of follow through on the things we know we need to do to build the business. Super frustrating when you are smart and intelligent, super, super frustrating, especially when you are successful in a job and in school.
Because that perfectionist mindset that really doesn’t help us in business and makes us get in our own way. That mindset is created by, in a lot of cases, the schooling environment and rewarded by it as well. So that was for me, like, I didn’t even realize I was a perfectionist when I was studying, even though I had all these tendencies that I mentioned because I did well, I got the A’s, I passed the test. I did well at work. Like I didn’t have this issue. But in business like this issue with getting results in business because of my perfectionism, I was just so in my own way that I couldn’t do the things I needed to do. I didn’t have a boss or anyone else, like relying on me to get stuff done, or knowing when things wouldn’t happen or would happen.
And because I had to manage myself, and especially with perfectionism, this people pleasing and we don’t want to disappoint others or let anyone else down. It’s so much easier to follow through on something when you’re like, I don’t want to let this down, or this person’s giving me this deadline, I’m going to get in trouble if I don’t meet the deadline. In business, it’s so different. You’ve got to be able to manage yourself. You’ve got to be able. If you want to be your own boss, you’ve got to be able to be your own boss, be in charge of yourself. And when we have that perfectionism, handbrake on, we are not the best person to have working for the business.
We procrastinate, we overthink, we burn ourselves out and then need so much time off to recover from it. Or just like disconnect from the business mentally. Even if we’re showing up and and doing the things we’re not actually doing the needle movers, the things that will build your business. So with that said, how do you get out of your own way? Like, what is that process? I’m going to dive into that in the next episode, and that’s going to be in response to each of these three things I’m going to be sharing, which is why do you get in your own way? I’ve talked already about perfectionism, that perfectionist mindset that is really perfectionism.
People talk about it as like, it’s fear of rejection, it’s fear of failure. And like so many perfectionists, the biggest fear is fear of success, of I’m not going to be like relatable anymore. The people who love me aren’t going to love me anymore because I’m going to be achieving more than them. They won’t want to actually hang out with me anymore. They’ll laugh at me like it’s not just fear of failure. It’s fear of disconnection, fear of shame, fear of embarrassment. And ultimately, I think with perfectionism. And these are just like things I’ve been thinking about super recently. We just want to be loved by ourselves. We want everyone else to love us.
So we feel like it’s not delusional to love ourselves. It’s actually okay to love ourselves and to be kind to ourselves and to encourage ourselves and to trust ourselves like we are with ourselves all day, every day for our entire lives. So yes, we want to be loved by others. Yes. As humans, we want to be part of the tribe so that we’re not like, you know, back in the old, old, old days that if you were rejected from the tribe, you couldn’t survive like you needed everyone else around you. Otherwise, there would be an animal that would come and attack you and get you and all of that.
So now I think it’s like, yes, we want to be part of community. And that’s super important. And just like in our brains as humans, but ultimately when we’re in the perfectionist mindset and doing all of this, getting in our own way, we are so cruel to ourselves. We are so hard on ourselves. We are constantly nitpicking ourselves, trying to be better. It can be, it can sound really cruel in our heads, or it can sound. It can be dressed up to sound not so bad. I just need to be better. I just want to be a good CEO or have a real business or be a better. Like all these ways we dress it up when we say not enough this time, Still not good enough? Nope. That’s not it. Just constant nitpicking. Self-Policing, surveilling, being on our own backs. All in the attempt.
All in the attempt to be successful so that we can feel connected with ourselves and pleased with ourselves. So that’s like at the root of all of it is we want to feel connected to ourselves and to others. Perfectionism. And this is also and there are lessons on this inside perfectionist getting shit done as well, that RPGs is absolutely love that have helped them have so many important breakthroughs. But perfectionism makes sense in childhood. It makes sense. You need others to take care of you. And our brains decide, okay, if I’m going to be taken care of, if I can do everything just right, and most importantly, not do anything wrong, I will keep being cared for.
I will keep being able to stay alive. That makes sense. But then we bring those thoughts into adulthood and into business. And those thoughts, that thought pattern causes problems. It’s not that it doesn’t make sense to have perfectionist thoughts or that there’s a big problem. It just doesn’t make sense for where you are now in your life that you can take care of yourself. That people do love you. The reasons we had perfectionism in childhood and those perfectionist thoughts made sense, but now they just need an update to catch up to where you actually are in your life.
So perfectionism isn’t bad and wrong and just stop being a perfectionist. Your perfectionist tendencies today get it in your own way. Today is being caused by the thoughts that you are having today. And you might have been having those thoughts for decades, but it’s coming from your thinking today. And so you can change how you think to be able to get out of your own way. That is what will get you out of your own way. And I’m going to talk about super practical ways to do that.
I love a practical approach to mindset work that allows me to actually get shit done and have a really like, structured, clear way to do it that’s also flexible. So I’m going to be talking about exactly what that is. But your perfectionist thoughts made so much sense at a time, and now they’re making you get in your own way. And we can shift that thinking and shift how you relate to yourself and how you see yourself and how you see your business. And we can shift so that instead of being scared to pursue your potential, you are excited to do it. And yes, you might have some nervousness or need to learn how to handle uncertainty to be able to do that.
But you can go from being someone who protects your potential and has great ideas, but doesn’t see them through. You start and then stop to someone who is actually pursuing your potential, who is being up to something with their life and their business. Who is brave, who is courageous? Who is putting themselves out there in a way that feels safe? PGSD we teach safe visibility. It’s not about like just forcing yourself. That’s what we do in that perfectionist mindset. Who cares how you feel? Just force yourself to do it. It’s not the approach that works. So three reasons you get in your own way. Let’s chat about it. Number one, as discussed, you are scared you won’t reach your potential and that your best won’t be good enough.
That’s why you hold yourself back. You are scared to see and it makes sense. You’re scared to see that your potential, which is what you’ve been praised for and what you’ve been loved for. In school you were told you have so much potential. You are praised for being smart. You are praised for being intelligent. Everyone around you knows you have potential. You and your relationship with yourself. You value yourself for the potential you have. So yeah, it’s really scary to find out. To risk finding out that you don’t have the potential that you thought you did. So that’s number one. Number two, why you get in your own way is that you aren’t clear on what it is you need to do. And I’ve talked about in this episode, you do know what you need to do.
Like if someone with your same business came to you today and they said, hey, here’s what I’m trying to do. Maybe it’s I’m trying to go full time in my business. This is the kind of business I have. Like, take a look at my website, my Instagram or TikTok or wherever you’re marketing. Take a look. What do you think I should do next to, to build my business and get more clients or customers? You’d be able to give them pretty good advice. You’re a smart cookie. You figured out what the path is, but you’re not able to get yourself to do it. And part of that part of that getting in your own way is just a really practical element that to you, everything feels important. You have an unlimited number of ideas.
I was saying this on the PGSD call this week, like for everyone in PGSD ideas is not your problem. You do not have an issue with being able to come up with great ideas. You have so many ideas for what to do, but it’s been able to filter that and decide, here’s what I’m doing. And this is the thing to focus on. And when everything feels important, it is very easy to get in your own way. When you have that massive long to do list, maybe you highlight a few priorities, but you have this massive long to do list And you just don’t even know where to start because you have so many ideas. You only have so much time and energy, and you don’t know what to do with the time and energy you have, and you really don’t want to waste it. You want it to be worth it.
Especially if you’re doing it around parenting, around working in a job, around managing a health condition. You want to make sure that effort is worth it. So everything feels important. And then you get overwhelmed with where to start and what to focus on. So in part two of this series, I’m going to be talking really practically about how to solve that, because the answer isn’t to just have the to do list and highlight the priorities, or to ask AI what to focus on. That’s actually actually going to make you get in your own way more. And I’m going to be talking about needle movers and how to identify what other things to focus on for your business. But that’s one of the reasons you get in your own way.
Because when you do have the time and energy to work on your business, you don’t know where to start. Or you start one thing and then you stop it so you can start another thing, and then you stop that and you start another thing and you stop that. You just have an issue with clarity. And I’m going to talk about how to solve that. And number three is that you rely on motivation and inspiration to get things done. And maybe it’s like this can look all sorts of ways just thinking about all the different ways it looked for me, especially early on of like, and I still love a beautiful notebook and a pen, but I’d go stationary shopping, buying like a new camera when I was doing like YouTube stuff or just like buying some kind of new, like buying something new.
Like the same way that people to motivate themselves to work out, buy a new workout outfit. So you might be doing like stuff like that, going to a cafe, going to events to like get into like CEO mindset. Like all of these little things to try and motivate yourself. Maybe listen to inspiring things and like nothing against that. I love listening to a good, inspiring YouTube compilation of speeches yesterday, literally, I was listening to Roger Federer’s commencement address thing that he did at Dartmouth. So good. But anyway, like all this to say, I love a good little inspirational moment from someone who has achieved something. But if that is the whole strategy, I just got to motivate myself and inspire myself.
You will notice that you don’t get much finished and you are in that starting and stopping cycle where you start something, and then you get either twenty percent of the way through and move on to something else, or eighty percent of the way through, and then move on to something else. And you have a lot of things that are half finished and that are nearly done. But then you haven’t done the you know, you’re like, I just have to go in and review it before I can publish it. Like there’s a lot of stuff that’s either like just finished, almost finished, or you might have say like in a Google doc, for example, like you’ve got the full idea there, but then like you don’t even know where that Google doc is because you’ve got so many that have so many different ideas that never made it off that page into reality.
So if that is, you know that you are in exactly the right place, exactly the right place, nothing is wrong with you. It’s so important, like, because when you’re in this, you will feel so exasperated with the situation of like, why is it that I know what to do and I’m not doing it and that I’m working so hard to build this business? And I’m not like, it’s not actually growing how I know it could be. And there are people who seem less intelligent than me, who are way more successful than me and like, what is that about? It’s not because there’s something wrong with you. It’s simply not. There’s nothing wrong with you. And also, you’re exactly where you’re meant to be in your business.
And I know that can be hard to hear when we’re like, I’m so far behind. I just want to offer to you as a gift in case your brain hasn’t told you this, which it won’t, which it will not. You are exactly where you are meant to be in your business. You are not behind, but you do need to do something about it, about the fact that you are getting in your own way. More knowledge isn’t the cure. A better strategy isn’t the cure. You are getting in your own way. You are self-sabotaging because your perfectionist brain is so scared that you will do your best and then find out your best isn’t good enough. That’s making you hold yourself back. So when you get out of your own way, you are able to make plans. This is your future. You make a plan. You follow it. Something unexpected comes up. Because let’s be real, and I teach.
I’ll talk more about planning in the second episode of this series. But life or life, like things are going to happen. It isn’t like you make a plan and then everything just happens exactly as you planned. No, you make a plan. And as part of that, it’s a very workable plan. There’s contingencies, like if something comes up, you’re the person who can adapt and who can figure out, okay, I can’t do this anymore. I’m going to shuffle this to that week and then I’m going to do this instead. Like you can keep going and keep staying focused on what’s essential, even if you have less work time than you planned, even if you get unexpected time, because you might find like you fantasize about having more time.
And then when you have an unexpected day or like few hours, you’re like, wait, what do I even do with this? And then you find yourself wasting it and you’re like, oh my God, like, what is even happening? So you all know how to make plans and follow them and adjust them. So you can keep following through and keep being consistent, even when you have a lot of stuff going on in your life. You will trust yourself instead of having an idea and then already knowing like, this isn’t actually going to happen because I’m like, I’m not going to actually see this through. You will be able to have an idea and put it out there. You’ll be able to have that happen and do it successfully and build your business.
And I want to be so real. There are times where we show up and we do things, and it doesn’t get received the way we want, and you will be able to keep on going. You won’t go into that pit of despair that you were so scared will happen. You will know How to keep showing up, how to lick your wounds. Get a hug and keep going. So so so important. That’s part of getting out of your own way. When we are in our own way, we’re so scared of failure because we will just beat ourselves up so badly when we make a mistake. So then we’re so scared to even try and we overcomplicate things. That’s one of the ways we get in our own way.
We overcomplicate things so that it’s so hard to even follow through because we’re so scared to get it finished, and then to find out that people don’t like it, or to have it to even just if people like it. But it didn’t match the vision we had in our perfectionist brain about how good it could be. And that’s a key thing that I want to get across is that with perfectionism and that perfectionist thinking, the painful piece of that gap between where you are and where, you know, you could be the way to close that and get out of your is getting out of your way. You have to get out of your own way to close that. That is the solution. That is the answer.
That is the really the only option you’ve got. You’ve tried learning all the things, you’ve got the knowledge. Could you learn more? Sure, we all could, but you’re not actually consistently able to show up and put yourself out there and do that with confidence and be out of your own way. You’re not actually fulfilling your potential because you’re so scared to find out that you’re going all in won’t be enough, and that you won’t be able to achieve the success that you know in your head that you are capable of achieving. So in part two, I’m going to share the three simple steps to getting out of your own way. It’s going to be incredibly helpful, incredibly important to hear, incredibly practical, As I said, we’re not doing any of this like just right.
Done is better than perfect on a Post-it note. Look at that every day. Like in the brain of a perfectionist. Done isn’t better than perfect. Perfect is better than done. We would rather if we can’t do it perfectly, not do it at all. So know that even though little mantras like that that people offer like they just said with the best intentions they are, but they. I just always was so frustrated with that because I was like, I actually need something really practical and tangible to get me out of my own way. I don’t need a little tip, a little like write this on a Post-it note or just do it. As a perfectionist, I know how to just do it.
I know how to force myself to do stuff that is not my issue. My issue is not that I can’t force myself to do things when required. My issue is can I? I can’t allow myself when I’m in that perfectionist thinking with my perfectionism handbrake on. I don’t allow myself to just calmly and easily follow through with the plan that will get me to my goal. Keep going. Keep showing up. Putting myself out there like that is the thing that feels so hard to have my own back. To trust myself. To let it be easy. To let it be uncomplicated and to just calmly fulfill my potential. And do that without overthinking and without procrastinating and making a whole lot of drama around it.
So I hope this has been incredibly helpful. And in part two of this series, I am going to be sharing the three simple steps to getting out of your own way. So make sure you come back to the podcast. You listen to that episode because it is going to be absolutely life changing for you. I hope you’re having a beautiful day and I will talk to you then.
Outro
If you struggle to build your business due to procrastination or overthinking, or maybe you keep burning yourself out, I want to invite you to join my program, Perfectionist Getting Shit Done. Inside, I will teach you my proven process for getting shit done as a perfectionist entrepreneur. In case you didn’t know, perfectionists can’t follow the same productivity advice as everyone else.
When we do, we get in our own way. So let me teach you what works inside the program. It’s simple and anyone can learn.
To sign up today, visit samlaurabrown.com/pgsd. I’ll see you inside.