It’s tempting to look at others in our industry to see if we’re doing things the right way, especially when others are more successful than us. We might look at what others are doing to decide what we plan to do in our business.
There are times when following others’ advice makes sense, yet there are also times when following our own intuition is better. In today’s episode, I want to talk to you about when to do things your own way, why it’s safe to do so and how to productively compare yourself to others in your industry.
In This Episode You’ll Learn:
- Why it’s safe to trust your business instincts, even if others are more successful than you
- When to follow others’ advice and teachings versus when to follow your intuition
- How to productively compare yourself to experts and others in your industry
PGSD is opening to new students on 26 October 2022:
The PGSD Process will have you getting out of your own way in your business and planning properly as a perfectionist. The doors to Perfectionists Getting Shit Done will be opening at 6am New York time on 26 October and closing at 11:59pm New York time on 1 November 2022. To find out more about the program and be the first to know when the doors open, join the waitlist here: samlaurabrown.com/pgsd.
Featured In The Episode:
- Join the waitlist for Perfectionists Getting Shit Done (PGSD) – samlaurabrown.com/pgsd
- Learn the basics of Power Planning – samlaurabrown.com/planningseries
- Sign up for daily Perfectionist Power-Ups – samlaurabrown.com/power
- Follow me on Instagram @perfectionismproject
Listen To The Episode
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FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
Hi, and welcome to another episode of The Perfectionism Project. A podcast full of perfectionism advice for entrepreneurs. My name is Sam Laura Brown, I help entrepreneurs release their perfectionism handbrake, so they can get out of their own way and build a fulfilling and profitable business. I’m the founder of the perfectionist getting shit done group coaching program, which is otherwise known as PGSD. And for even more perfectionism advice to help you with your business, you can follow me on Instagram @perfectionismproject.
In this episode, I want to talk to you about how to trust that you are building your business the right way. And I say the right way, because that’s how we tend to think about it. But from the get go, I just want to mention there is no right or wrong way. And we can get so stuck and paralyzed. And in our heads when we are thinking, there’s a right way and a wrong way. And if we do it, the right way will be successful.
If we do it the wrong way, will be unsuccessful, it’s just black and white all or nothing thinking, instead of really recognizing that there are so many ways to get to your goals. And so many ways for your business to work, there are so many variations that would be successful of your business model. There are so many different platforms that you could choose to be on and you could choose to not be on.
So for example, you could choose to be on Instagram and not on TikTok or you could choose to have a podcast and not have a YouTube channel. Or you could choose to just do everything via email, or you could choose just to do everything in person. There’s no like right place to be, there’s no right offer that you need to have for your clients or your customers. There’s no right pricing, right Instagram, social media strategy, and really learning how to trust ourselves and trust our future self, and not even our future self, that they have the answers.
And this is something that I was really thinking about the other day when I was doing some self coaching through the lens of having a conversation with my future self, that I was being really mindful. And I hadn’t even thought of this before. And I just wanted to say this from the top is that when it comes to trust in our future self, what is the most powerful thing to do is have our future self be the coach, as it were in the sense that a coach doesn’t give you answers, they help you come to your own answers.
And so if we think of our future self, as being our coach, and that when you’re doing a q&a, for example, with your future self, so with your journal, you ask a question to your future self, then you enter it and go back and forth until you get the clarity and conclusion you need to and instead of having your future self tell you what to do. You have your future self ask you questions, so that your present day self can tell you what to do when I was doing that in my journaling the other day myself coaching, it was so different. And I just wanted to share that here. So anyway, this whole episode, we’re just going to be chatting about how to trust that you are building your business the right way.
And I want to say this is something that comes up especially if you are tending to compare yourself with or look at other businesses in your industry, what they are doing, how they are marketing, how they are pricing, what their product is like, or their services like what the owners or entrepreneurs or whoever is spending their time doing. And those kinds of things to try and figure out what we should be doing, or how we should be pricing or how we should be showing up on social media if you were doing that. And particularly if you’re looking at businesses that are making more money than you. And so you’re kind of putting them up on a pedestal and thinking they know better because they’re more successful than I am.
In thereby, I need to make sure that I’m doing it the same way they’re doing it. And we have this way of thinking that they are successful because of, so an example would be because of the kinds of photos they post on Instagram and the way that they have a certain kind of caption whether or how many times they post or what time of day they post or how many stories they do, or all those little things that we think that is the reason that they are successful, when it’s actually not the reason they’re successful.
So we’re very misguided, and are getting it misinformation in a sense when we draw the conclusion that they’re successful because of that, instead of recognizing that they are successful, because of the thoughts that they are having. And if you had similar thoughts to them, they might be helpful for you they might not be and those similar thoughts might actually lead you to different conclusions, and a different marketing strategy or different pricing or a different product.
And I wanted to talk about this because I have witnessed this with our PGSDers. I have witnessed it in my own journey where I’ve really been thinking like there’s a right way and a wrong way and I want to make sure I’m doing the right way and I’ve noticed how especially over the last couple of years, maybe especially over the last year, I’ve less and less been in this place of like there’s a right way to do it and a wrong way and just really settling into I actually do know, like what I’m doing. And it’s you might think, of course you think that because you do know what you’re doing, but I’ve had that thought available to me for a long time.
And I’ve chosen not to think it and I’ve chosen that other people would know better. I’ve also seen in the mastermind that I’m in. I’ve seen people in there. And it’s just an example of like, it’s so much more obvious when others are doing it that you can see like, Oh, yes, I’ve done that too. But I am to some degree still doing it to that, in the mastermind. I’m seeing people in that mastermind who are very focused on doing things the right way. And in a way that Stacey, who’s a leader would approve of and having to do it the same way that she does it, which isn’t what she teaches.
She doesn’t teach it that you have to do it exactly the way she’s doing it. She’s teaching away thinking the same way that in PGSD, I’m teaching a way of thinking, because that all coaching is, and when we are very focused on being right or wrong, we often end up spending so much time spinning our wheels, this is when as well, they can be a lot of procrasti-learning going on and jumping from one thing to the next to the next thing to when we have all the tabs open in our browser.
And you might be looking at everyone else’s sales pages and trying to figure out, okay, what’s the right way to do it, and pricing, wedding, all of that kind of thing. Or looking at people’s Instagram and seeing how often they’re posting and all different things. And using emojis the same way they use emojis, or the same call to action, or all those different things that we are thinking that the way that we’re showing up or that other people are showing up is what creates the results when it’s not.
And we’re also devaluing the fact that we do like what we’ve learned, that doesn’t mean we don’t have things to learn, and that there isn’t room for improvement, but we do know enough, and that it is safe to trust ourselves. And it is safe to draw a conclusion that is different to or have a business model or a strategy that is different to someone who is making more money in the same industry, to have a different business model or strategy to your coach to have a different way of doing things to other people that you admire.
Or an expert who has, you know, been doing something for so many years, that you would have a different conclusion on what the best way is for you. And being willing to honor that and value that. And to be able to have these conversations with yourself. So you can really tell and discern, when your growth is to do things in a way that doesn’t feel comfortable with you. And to coach yourself on that. And get out of your own way with that. And when you’re growth is to actually do it in a way that does feel good to you.
And be willing to give yourself that permission, even when an expert might not agree or like imagining that they wouldn’t agree or even when your coach is doing it a different way, or the people you look up to or who are making more money and doing it a different way that pay to do that. And it’s really like recognizing that there are so many recipes for how we can create a successful business. And that by the nature of a being a recipe that it’s going to need to be post in a clear way with it been step by step.
So I talked about this a bit at the end of the episode I did on how to say no, after you’ve already said yes. But for example, with baking some blueberry muffins, that if it was like, Okay, you can use a cup of flour. Or if you want to, you could use two cups, or maybe you could use half a cup like they all work and so far given all these options, and then maybe you could use 100 grams of butter or 150 or like and they’ve been all these millions of combinations within this recipe, it would be so overwhelming that we would never end up with the blueberry muffins.
But if it’s here, you need a cup of flour, you need 125 grams of butter, you need a punnett of blueberries and whatever. It’s not that it’s the right way, the only way but it is a way and by it being laid out clearly, we can follow that. And so it’s so important when you are following someone else’s process for things. And as we do anytime we’re learning something from someone else, that we recognize that it’s not the only way to do it. And that that is one way that works.
And there are other variations of that that work too. And it’s okay for us to choose another variation of that, again got to be unto ourselves when we are trying to go into a different variation just as a way to just avoid discomfort and we’re kind of self sabotaging, it’s totally normal to do that, don’t beat yourself up if you’re doing that. But to know there are times where it definitely makes sense to deviate from what you see others around you doing and to really be true to yourself.
And even at the beginning, when you’re still figuring that out, to know that you do have wisdom and knowledge and guidance that you can give yourself around it. And that as you make decisions and test them, doesn’t mean just because you have like intuition or knowledge around it that you’re going to make, you know, all your choices are going to work in the sense that they’re going to have the outcome that you wanted or predicted that they would. But I think the best way to calibrate and recalibrate our business sense and knowledge and intuition.
And all of that is to have like learn from others, yes, but also having it through the filter of like our future self, and our self image and our growth goal and our big picture vision for the business that we have. And then if there are tweaks and variations to that, to have them and then test it do an evaluation. And this is where in PGSD when you’re doing your growth goal, power planning, all of that kind of thing, we have the weekly reviews, then the quarterly and annual review as well as one that you are reflecting because it’s very important that you do that. Because a lot of times we just like I just have a feeling that’s not working, I need to do something different.
And then we deviate from something that was working, just because we hadn’t actually evaluated it in an objective way. Or just because we hadn’t given it enough time that we were in a rush. And there are other things going on there. So we want to be thinking about when you are building your business, trusting yourself to build it the right way. And that it’s safe to trust yourself that especially when you are doing weekly reviews, your quarterly review your annual review, you are not going to lead yourself astray.
And when we place all this trust and everyone else over ourselves, then we are not able to then be able to back ourselves when we are in situations where we need to be resourceful or where we need to overcome resistance in order to follow through with something that is in our best interest, even though it is uncomfortable. We were not having that self trust, we’re not able to follow through with our plans on a weekly basis, we’re not able to actually attempt things that might fail because we can’t trust ourselves that we will be okay on the other side of any emotion, any painful emotion that we might need to feel.
So when we are looking at other people’s businesses, because I think we have this tendency as humans to compare. And I think that’s very primitive, being that we do in the sense that like, primitive, primal, like, it’s something that we’re always thinking about subconsciously is do we fit in with the crowd? Are we belonging? Are we lovable, all of those certain things? And so to just know that we’re like, people say, well, don’t compare yourself to others.
What if we thought, okay, well, I’m probably going to compare myself to others, maybe I won’t. And I think if we stop telling ourselves, like you shouldn’t compare ourselves, or compare yourself to other people, we’re going to be less likely to actually do it when we stopped making this thing we’re not allowed to do, but to just recognize, like, Hey, we’re human, we’re going to be doing that. But let’s think about how to actually compare ourselves.
To our mentors, our coaches, others in the industry, especially others in the industry, who are making more money, how we can compare ourselves in a productive way. And what we want to take away from what other people are doing and what we can see they’re doing. So if we are just looking at their action, so for example, with Instagram, like I had mentioned that if you’re thinking, you know, the number of times a post per week, and the kinds of images that you use, and the kinds of captions they write, say, they might write a long caption, they might post a photo of themselves, a professional photo of themselves.
They might post on stories like five times a day, and share certain things you might be thinking that’s why they’re successful. When really, it’s the way they’re thinking about themselves, their offer their customers, their followers, their time. That’s what’s creating the result. And so you can look at that introduce, what must they be thinking for them to decide that that was a good idea. And to also it’s so interesting to you even recognize that they might actually be making the money they’re making despite their Instagram strategy, not because of it.
And we think like, it’s this all or nothing thinking if they’re successful and they’re making money, then everything they’re doing in their business is right when the reality is that there will be things in their business that are doing the heavy lifting for them. And they’re making them that money coming from the thoughts, they’re having the high quality thoughts, then there are things that they are doing, that are actually not working, it’s a mix, it’s always a mix, because anyone in business is always experimenting with things.
So it’s always going to be a mix. So there are some things that aren’t working. And they’re getting their results, despite that thing, not working, which is great news to know that we can be super successful and have a really big impact with our business without everything needing to work. But if we look at it and think, well, I have to copy or have to do the same as them for every single area because it must be working, you might be actually following an Instagram strategy that doesn’t even work for them, let alone you.
Because of that all on our theme, were you thinking about it. So instead, we want to reflect on how they must be thinking. And for example, if you are listening to say, for example, someone talking about Instagram strategy, because I’ve been using that as the example, if you are listening to someone talking about that, instead of focusing on what they say are the strategies and tactics and things to identify the way that they’re thinking about themselves.
And their offer their customers, their followers, their time and that side of things, more than what they’re saying in terms of based on that his strategy that they created. So for example, if you were to follow the same strategy, have them say that their strategy is effective for them when it comes to Instagram. But you don’t believe that what you do is actually helpful for people. And you say you don’t believe you have a real business, you can follow exactly the same strategy, and it’s not going to work. Or you can follow it and it will work.
Despite again, we don’t need to have perfect thoughts in order to have our business be what we want it to be in to achieve our growth goals. But we want to be looking at how they must be thinking. And so a few examples of this, I just want to share like experiences I’ve noticed where I will be thinking about something in a similar way, and then come to a completely different conclusion. And the first time I really started to notice this was as a university student, one of my really dear friends, we were incredible study buddies together. And especially with all our on the law side, because she didn’t do commerce as well.
So we did our law subjects together. And we would always talk about, you know, for the assignments, what we’re going to do like what kind of approach we would take, and we would brainstorm ideas and things together. And then when we were studying, we’d also do the same. And it was so fascinating to me that we would have a conversation. So we’d have like an hour brainstorming session. And we would figure out, Okay, I think this is what the professor means with this topic. And we kind of talk about this stuff and that stuff and whatever, then we would go away, and we would write the assignment, and we will come back.
And they would be completely different, like completely different, even though we had been thinking about it in a similar way that when we’re thinking about it in that way, through our own knowledge and filters and the way we think about the world and the topics and all that, that we would create a different outcome. The same I think is really true with me and my friend, Jen, who I’ve talked about on the podcast, one of my business friends who I adore so much. And we have the best brainstorming super thinking sessions together. So we talk about all sorts of things. And it is scary.
And hilarious how often we are on exactly the same page about things. And it was funny the other day message I was like you need to come on the podcast so we can chat about simplifying and decluttering your business and like just a topic that I think we’d both love to chat about together and be super, super helpful to have it here on the podcast. And I hadn’t met we hadn’t talked for maybe like a month before that. And she was like I just had the thought four hours ago because so I had emailed her about that topic that I should go on.
Send this podcast and talk about that. And that day that I had message out, like right off the bat when we hadn’t spoken in so long and so many things like, Hey, do you happen to know your human designs, like I was looking at that today. So anyway, we are very much on the same page. And think about things, relatively speaking in a very similar way. And yet, we have made such different decisions in terms of our business models. And in terms of where we spend our time and different things like that.
And it just reminds me whenever that happens, that it’s really important to focus on the thinking instead of focusing on the actions when we are comparing ourselves to others to really pay attention or to choose. But if you are listening to them talk, you will hear their beliefs all throughout what they are saying and also what they are not saying. And to think about, okay, what beliefs might they have, underpinning those decisions, that could be helpful to me, and then adopting anyone do you think might be helpful and leaving the rest, and then that being it to not then go, Okay, now I have to do, like, follow their exact Instagram strategy.
So I hope that this can maybe help you start to notice when you might be looking to others actions, and giving them credit for the results they have, instead of looking at how they must be feeling and thinking and to know that they’re not thinking and feeling perfectly. And you don’t need to either, you can create a really successful business with and this is something that Stacey Boehman, my coach says, like you can have a really successful business with a half managed mind or something like that.
That’s I find that really liberating. And it’s something we talk about all the time in PGSD, that it’s not all or nothing, that you have to be like, you’re doing this perfect self coaching and perfect planning and all of this stuff and then you can be successful or you’re never going to make it. It’s really about there being layers to that and that you definitely like my business is such a great example of that I have released my perfectionism handbrake in so many ways, and I feel like I’m unrecognizable to 10 years ago in terms of that.
And yet, I still have work that I’m doing. And I’ve been able to create a lot of success in my business, I feel very fulfilled in what I’m doing. And at the same time, like there’s a work to do. And it’s like you can be a work in progress. And the things you do can work at the same time. It’s not either you’re fully done with all your growing and all the stuff, you’re learning about business and you’re successful, or you’ve got things to learn and you’re not successful. It’s knowing that building your business in a way that feels right for you, is safe. It is safe to do that. And that’s the main message that I want you to have from this episode.
And there are so many times that I have found myself looking at, and this is why should the Instagram challenge the example doing exactly that looking at when someone is posting and the images they are using, the captions they are writing the story strategy they are having thinking like, Okay, I have to do those same things, instead of thinking about their business model and how they think about themselves and the people that are helping and their offer, and all of those different things, and then thinking about my business in that same kind of way, and creating my own strategy, the game.
And it was really like a good example of when I’m actually followed, pretty much from the beginning. There’s been times where it’s kind of wavered a tiny bit, I would say, but for the most part, this podcast, I have been so focused on what feels best for me, even when other people who I admire who make a lot more money than me, who are helping more people than me do it in a different way, where they have. So say, for example, when it comes to a podcast, there are people who word for word, like write out a script, and then read it off.
There are people who do 10 minute episodes or 20 minute episodes, there are people who only do guest interviews, there are so many different variations, and they all work. And so instead of looking at, okay, I say if you want to start a podcast. I’m going to start a podcast and send us one every week on a Monday. So Monday must be the best day like no, I just chose Monday. Like it’s all you know, they’re mainly like 30 minutes, I just made up that time is like kind of what I’m thinking about when I’m recording an episode. But it’s not based on anything particular, it doesn’t mean that, like, we can’t experiment with things, and it be based on something.
But when we look at that just been this certain way of doing things and thinking like that’s the only way for it to be successful, especially if we end up in a bit of an echo chamber when it comes to what we’re consuming. So maybe all of the podcasts that you listen to do it in a certain way, or all of the people you follow on Instagram, particularly in your industry do it a certain way. It could be that that kind of format is really what resonates with you. But it could also be that a different format, a different way of doing things is what feels best.
And for me, like I’ve tried at different times, doing more notes where I will, I don’t think I’ve maybe have a timeline where I’ve scripted at all. I don’t know if I have it hasn’t been for a long, like years. But I’ve tried different things I’ve experimented with what works for me. And what works for me best at this point in time, is when I’m just chatting, and I’m not overthinking it. And at times I’m even thinking about like having to in terms of the topics I talk about needing to make sure I’m covering beginner, not beginner things but like foundational things such as perfectionism and how that manifests and what that looks like.
And then in my mind, I’ve had a story about not wanting to spend, okay, spend too much time kind of out on the branches of the tree and I need to spend more time at the trunk of the train just even recently, I’ve had to be like, maybe it’s okay, what I’m doing, and I can give myself permission to just record episodes on what I feel called to record episodes on and trust, that’s going to go to the people who need to hear it at the right time. And really, you know, be something they needed to hear and that it’s most enjoyable for me and to trust that it doesn’t have to feel like a slog for me for it to be beneficial to someone else.
And that when I find that if I’m in my head about what topics to talk about, or having them be less kind of me sharing my own journey and more like here’s what you need to do. Then it takes the fun out of the podcast and knowing that like we’re so programmed to think that the more fun for me, the less valuable it will be for the business. And the most valuable thing is going to be the really hard thing that I don’t want to do and I think like in PGSDers we do courageous work, and not hard work.
And distinguishing courageous work. Courageous work a lot of times is letting things be easy, and giving ourselves permission to do it our way and giving ourselves permission to do it in just a super flowy fun way, even when our brain is screaming at us, that it needs to feel harder, and that we need to think about it more before we do it. And as I’ve shared before, pretty much after every podcast episode I record, even now we are well over 300 episodes, my brain still has that chatter of like, that wasn’t good enough, and all of that and just ignoring that, like trusting myself enough to ignore those little moments of doubt that I have. And sometimes they have been big moments of doubt, trust me.
But to trust myself enough that this way can work. It’s not to say that if I didn’t read, like if I read off a script, and it was 20 minutes long, or 10 minutes long, and it had very clear points or whatever, and I never went on a tangent, that could work too. For sure, it could work too. Or if I did an episode every day, or if I did one episode a month, but like all of that could work, like the different ways to make the blueberry muffin, they all end with a blueberry muffin. But this is the way that really feels most creatively fulfilling for me and to trust that that is also going to be of great value to you.
And it’s not okay, well, it’s either what’s credibly fulfilling for me. And I’m willing to have a smaller business because of it. It’s like this trade off, am I putting those two things in opposition. But instead, it being that, what if being in creative flow and trusting our creative instincts is actually what would have us have a bigger, more successful business, there’s not this trade off, that we have to grapple with. But it’s really giving ourselves permission to do it in the way that feels best for us.
And to keep doing that, even when like I’ve had people who likes in podcasts or reads, stuff going on tangents, you’re not being clear about your points, and you’re just rambling on and all these things like, it’s just, you can have someone directly tell you like your way isn’t the way. Your way isn’t good, or this, these episodes are too low, what are all the different things, and especially when those things have been my insecurities, that it’s and I share before when I had like the first negative reviews of the podcast because it feels so me.
And this is why we want to do it other people’s way. Because when I was doing it my way, just doing what I’m doing right now, which is pulling out my microphone and chatting. And just being myself that when someone criticizes that it just feels so much more shameful, than if I was doing like a scripted, or whatever version that didn’t feel like me that could feel so like someone else.
But it didn’t feel like me to do that. Then it’s kind of like that buffer of a well, you know, it’s not really the way I want to do the podcast anyway. So if someone’s criticizing, it’s like, yeah, you know, that’s fine. But when you’re really showing up as yourself and doing it the way that feels best for you, when we are criticize, and we will be, especially as the business grows, and that’s okay, when others when there are haters, and all that is just really rite of passage.
But when that’s going on, it is easier to be in shame about it. And this is why self like when it comes to our self talk and shame resilient, and that’s something that we work on, as PGSDers, is knowing that shame is a human emotion, we’re going to experience it, there’s no way to avoid it. But we can be with ourselves in that experience of it so that it isn’t something we have, it isn’t so painful to be in shame. We don’t end up in this very dramatic shame as well that we have to go to all these lengths to avoid it, which is really what perfectionism is it’s a strategy to avoid shame.
And we ironically, feel shame, so much more intensely. And we shame ourselves so much when we have our perfectionism handbrake on, but doing that work so that we can trust ourselves to feel any feeling. And we can trust our future self and our present day self knowing that we’re not going to lead ourselves astray. And knowing that there are so many different ways to get to our goals that will work and why not do it in the way that we want to do it, and that feels great to us. And I want to keep saying like, yes, we’re gonna learn things from other people.
And we can still put our own flavor on it and our own spin on it. And that doesn’t mean that from the very first day that you need to do that. I coached a PGSDer on this that she was saying that for her content that she was creating around her health clinic, that she wanted to make sure her content felt unique and authentic. And she didn’t just want to repeat things that she had learned from the study that she had done. She wanted to make sure it was really true to her. And I was just saying like, but how do you know yet what is true to you what is authentic.
And going back to my blueberry muffin example, to figure out how to make blueberry muffins in the way that works for you. First of all, this is I mean, there are some people who just know, and they can just get the ingredients together. But for most of us, you find a recipe, you follow it, you find a recipe, you follow it again. And then as you keep doing that, say maybe pick a recipe for muffins, you follow it like the first three times you’re just following the recipe. And then maybe after that you’re like, Okay, actually, I feel like it’s a bit sweet.
So I’m just gonna see what happens if I don’t put as much sugar in it. Or if I take the blueberries out, and I put choc chips in it, or if I use this almond flour instead of plain flour, or whatever it is, but to first of all, like it’s okay to be following the recipe, and to not have your own authentic spin on it from the beginning. And then once you do that more and more, then you will start to figure out okay, actually, it feels more like me and more aligned to what I want to do to do it this way. And then eventually you can write your own recipe.
And that’s really, when it comes to business and perfectionism, especially that not that there was anyone been like, here’s the recipe for releasing your perfectionism, which is why a big reason why PGSD exists, because I didn’t even know this was all a thing. And I couldn’t find anyone to help me with it. So anyway, it was still like taking different pieces of, you know, looking at other people’s recipes and making those and then trying that and then my own variations on that to eventually the point now, we’re about 10 years into working on my perfectionism having coached hundreds of people on theirs, that now I can share my own recipe.
And that’s not the only way to do it. And when it comes to if you’re in a marketing program, that’s not the only way to do it. And it can be beneficial to follow a recipe, especially the beginning. And then being aware that you might want to vary that and giving yourself permission to do that. And yeah, I just wanted to share that because there might be things where you’re like, I don’t even know what feels like the right way.
This is where it’s like you pick something and you try it. And when I started this podcast, I had already been blogging in my business for like four years I had been what else had I been doing. I had been doing YouTube videos, I had been doing Snapchat, a lot like chatting on Snapchat, and other things like that. So that by the time I got to doing my podcast, I knew what I liked, I knew where I did my best, which is when I’m not reading off a script or anything like that.
I knew that the content that I loved the moist hands down. And there’s different kinds of content for everyone. But I love long form. I love when someone’s just chatting when you really feel like they’re your friend and you get an insight into the behind the scenes and aren’t just preaching at you. But they are sharing with you their experiences. And there’s just so much comfort in that kind of content for me like I love it. I learned from it the most. And that was a style that I wanted to create. But I didn’t know that when I started my business.
And if I had created a podcast when I started my blog in 2013 which I like there was no way that was happening. Like even just starting a blog when no one ever saw my face I’ll have my voice felt like such a big thing. And that’s why it took me so long to start a podcast because I just thought like, I can’t have a pod… like all these people have podcasts. I’m nothing like them. They are so much… Like I didn’t have anything to share this so much better than me more experienced than me, I can’t just like create my own podcast. So it took me quite a while to get up the courage to even start a podcast. But by the time I did, I had figured out for me what I resonated with the most.
And I had done enough experimenting on other platforms to know that I can chat for a long time, about all this stuff without needing any kind of notes, that I have really given myself permission to record these without editing. And there are a few people who influenced that like Tim Ferriss and Myleik Teele was probably the biggest one, her podcast and a few other ones like that, where it was just chatty. And I just loved them so much. And recognize that maybe other people could love mine with a similar format.
But now there’s so many examples. Like they were those examples, were the least common ones. And also for me deciding, like, I wasn’t gonna have guests on the podcast because I love doing solo episodes. I love hearing solo episodes are most of any podcast, yes, a lot of interviews. But for sure, if someone has a solo episode versus an interview, I will always go for the solo episode. Recently, we’ve been having more guests on the podcast for so long, like the first 300 episodes, pretty much I didn’t have any guests on the podcast.
And so it’s just like trusting your own intuition on it. Letting yourself learn from others and like follow a recipe from someone else, if you haven’t done something before, if you’re new to something, or if you want to learn a new way to do it. And then once you’ve been following that recipe a little bit to start to reflect on what variations feel good to me with this, what I want to experiment with here, to the point where then at some point, you could write your own recipe not that you have to, but you then end up with your own way of doing it.
That is a variation of all the different things that you have learned before, but is also your own unique way. And again, to wrap up to underline it is safe to trust yourself, you are not going to lead yourself astray or down a path that you don’t want to. You can always get back to where you are right now. There’s nothing like, there’s so few things you could do, that would ruin your business. Like when we’re in that all or nothing thinking.
It’s like, if I put one foot wrong, then everything’s ruined. It doesn’t actually work that way. Business is just experimenting, it’s trial and error were all in case you didn’t realize it. We’re all making it up. None of us know fully what we’re doing. And yet at the same time, we all know what we’re doing. Both of those things are true at the same time. And so I want you to really soak into that, to start recognizing that you know what to do, you’re still learning but you know enough.
It’s safe to trust yourself. If you’re doing that Q&A with your future self, have them have your present day self answer, I think is the most powerful thing there. And to just like if you have been, this is what I’ll just speak in first person, that’s what I’ve been doing is that I’ll note with the podcast, I’ve been pretty great with that in terms of doing it the way that feels best to me though, as I said, there are times where I overthink different topics that are random, whatever. But say with Instagram, for example.
There are times where I’m like, this is the way I want to do it, this feels best to me. And then I can find myself easily getting like looking at what others are doing and thinking I need to do it that way. And not trusting my way of doing it. And then I come back I have a breakthrough. It’s so far I was journaling about this the other day, I never have a breakthrough of like, I just need to copy that person’s way of doing it. The breakthrough is always I need to do it my way. And then there are times that I then am like, oh, I look at this.
And I think Instagram, particularly the reason Instagram, as well as a platform that gets talked about a lot inside PGSD. I think it really like the way it works with the likes and the comments and the engagement and that kind of thing is that it feels like a much more judgmental platform in a way for me that the podcast doesn’t and it’s just the beliefs I have about it the story I have about it because there are a lot of people who have perfectionism around podcast episodes and I’ve definitely had some of that myself at times.
But with Instagram you get an instant response with people liking things or not liking things with people commenting or not commenting with putting up a question box and no one answering like it’s different to a podcast for example, you just get a number of downloads, and that’s it. It’s not kind of all of these comments and different things going on. So I’ve noticed for me that I tend to trust myself less with that. And I’ve needed to work more actively on that. And that’s something that we are working on behind the scenes at the moment.
At the time of recording this, by the time you’re listening to this, it’s probably started rolling out what we’re doing. But noticing, you know, just how other people say, to do things, or you’re just watching how they do things and know it’s okay, that you might be kind of going back and forth between the way that feels right to you, and then you see someone else doing something, you copy that for a bit. And then you go back to like, have a breakthrough about, “No, I’m just gonna do it my way”. And then you find yourself again, that’s okay. I’ve been there I am there all the time.
For it’s safe to trust yourself to build your business your way, there are so many ways that work. And in PGSD, we’re really all about doing it in a way that works for you that works for your lifestyle that works for your goals that you have. You’re never doing something at your own expense or lifestyles expense. And also we do courageous work. And that means that we do things that we have resistance around that are uncomfortable, but we’re not doing things because we should do them.
We’re not overcomplicating, and doing that kind of thing. We’re doing the courageous stuff, which is often more times there not coming back to trusting ourselves. Doing it the easy way, doing it the simple way that usually takes more courage. So if you haven’t enjoyed I said that funny, if you have enjoyed this episode, please take a screenshot and tag me on Insta, I am @perfectionismproject. I hope you are having a beautiful day and I will talk to you in the next episode.
If you want to learn the basics of power planning, then I invite you to sign up for the video series that I’ve put together for you on how to plan properly as a perfectionist. By the end of this series, you’ll be in a position to start using power planning to get your perfectionist mindset on your side and get out of your own way. So to sign up, you can go to samlaurabrown.com/planningseries, the link will be available for you in the show notes as well.