Today I’m sharing an important episode to remind you that showing up imperfectly is exactly what would serve others and make an impact in the way you want to.
This is a pep talk that gives you permission to share who you really are with your clients, your followers and your team. You don’t need to pressure yourself to spend extra time making things perfect in order to serve them.
If you ever feel like you’re not ‘perfect’ enough to help or inspire others, this episode is a must-listen. Tune in to discover 5 reasons the world needs imperfect leaders like you – and why you don’t have to have everything ‘figured out’ before you can.
Find the full episode transcript and show notes at samlaurabrown.com/episode386.
In This Episode You’ll Learn:
- How being perfect actually stops you from helping and inspiring others
- Why it’s so important to lead by example and how to do it
- Why you should share your message, even when others are sharing it too
- The power of imperfect leadership and why it works
- What to do if you feel like you’re not ‘good enough’ to lead others
Featured In The Episode:
- Sign up for The Power Planning Course – samlaurabrown.com/powerplanning
- Join the waitlist for Perfectionists Getting Shit Done (PGSD) – samlaurabrown.com/pgsd
- Sign up for daily Perfectionist Power-Ups – samlaurabrown.com/power
- Follow me on Instagram @perfectionismproject
Listen To The Episode
Listen to the episode on the player above, click here to download the episode and take it with you or listen anywhere you normally listen to podcasts – just find Episode 386 of The Perfectionism Project Podcast!
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FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
Hi, and welcome to another episode of The Perfectionism Project, a podcast full of perfectionism advice for entrepreneurs. My name is Sam Laura Brown, I help entrepreneurs release that perfectionism handbrake so they can get out of that way, and build a fulfilling and profitable business. I’m the founder of the Power Planning Course and Perfectionist Getting Shit Done, which is otherwise known as PGSD. And for even more perfectionism advice to help you with your business, you can follow me on Instagram @perfectionismproject.
Sam Laura Brown
Whenever I pop up a little survey on Instagram or things like that asking you what your favorite episodes are of the perfectionism project, which one do you listen to on repeat? This episode that I’m going to be sharing with you is always amongst that list. It’s on a five reasons the world needs imperfect leaders like you. And this, to me really is so much of my business philosophy, without me really being intentional about it, that there are so many ways that we do things as a business, including the way that I create this podcast that is designed to show you my imperfections, not as some kind of tactic or strategy, but really, it’s from coach me wanting to empower you.
And I, myself have been so empowered when I have seen other leaders, other creators, other entrepreneurs show their flaws and show up imperfectly, and it’s done in this kind of, I know, over the years, there’s been this like, push towards being more vulnerable. And then people are kind of vulnerable things, but not really in a vulnerable way, or just doing it with an agenda. But what I’m really talking about here is where you are willing to let yourself be seen fully. And it’s not with an agenda of, if I’m more vulnerable with them, then I’m going to make more money or whatever. But really just like getting that human connection and knowing that that’s what’s most empowering.
So I just wanted to share this episode with you in case you needed a bit of a pep talk in case you are finding that you have been busy perfecting things or especially as your business has been growing and you’d be making more money, or you have been having more customers and clients are like things have been getting more legitimate and professional so to speak, that you have felt pressure to be more polished and to be put together. And to not have your audience to not have your clients or customers to not have your team, see your flaws to really recognize that it is so needed that we share the real us. And that doesn’t mean that we let it all hang out necessarily.
It doesn’t mean that we are sharing inappropriately, it’s it’s not about that it’s not this like all or nothing thing of you’re either being open and honest. And then you are also bringing with that like sharing a lot of things that don’t actually make sense to share or you’re not ready to share or aren’t relevant or like just, as I said, letting it all hang out in this way that there really isn’t helpful for anyone, including yourself.
It’s not like it’s either that or you just need to be this buttoned up professional who has a certain image about you. This does relate to like your brand and your positioning and things like that, too. But with that said, that I think it’s just so empowering for other people to see you doing things imperfectly. And this is why for example, with this podcast, that we don’t edit out when I am forgetting a word and then my train of thought and then I need to regather myself or just things like that, that it’s so helpful.
I know for me, when I have seen others show up and make a big impact and have really successful businesses just by being who they are. They’re still learning and growing and developing. But they are also just willing to show up and do the thing and then not spending all this extra time trying to polish it because I don’t really care about that. So just knowing as well that the same is true for you. I go into it in this episode. So I won’t say too much more.
But if you have been feeling like you need to present this perfect image for people to take you seriously in business, whether that is your team, whether that is the people who are paying you whether that is your followers, then I just want to have you questioning that it’s not to say that you can’t be a professional about things not at all. But oftentimes, we perfectionist when we are defining what it means to be a professional or to have a legitimate business or to be taken seriously.
We tend to add in a lot of criteria that takes out the humanity of what we’re doing and the connection and the compellingness so to speak of what we’re doing and it really loses that. That ability to for us to be leaders for us to make the impact we want to make regardless of if your business is the kind where you are giving advice to others. Or whether you are selling a product whatever your business looks like you’re selling houses whatever you are a leader in the world needs imperfect leaders like me, like you. So this episode is just gonna give you some permission to just relax a little to be yourself to show up as who you truly are.
And as cliche as all that sounds, to just kind of be able to let that wall come down a little bit, and to not have so much pressure around saying things in the perfect way, or looking the perfect way, or having your things all together or needing to pretend to your team that you know exactly what you’re doing, like, yes, that is a huge part of leadership that is having clarity and conviction, and being able to have enough certainty that others are following you. But at the same time, it’s really important that you are able to share your humanity with others to know that that’s empowering for them if we talk about like creating a growth mindset.
And part of that includes being resilient, being able to make mistakes, and then learn from them. And things like that, that if we pretend we’ve never made a mistake that we always know exactly what we’re doing, then it isn’t helpful for others, because they think that their experience as a human is abnormal, when actually they’re having a very similar experience to us. So again, there’s nuance to this, but at the same time, it is true, the world needs imperfect leaders and for us to share our humanity share our humaneness.
And I think that if we all reflect on the content, the creators, the businesses that we resonate with most, I’m gonna guess that the vast majority of them is where that is that humanity. And it’s not this perfected thing, but you really feel like that is that sense of connection that and that can only come when we are willing to allow ourselves to be seen to grow in public. And to be Yeah, to just like actually be connected instead of sharing. We like to share this kind of diluted, perfected version of ourselves.
So if that version is rejected, we can say, well, at least it’s not the real me, that was rejected. But sharing the real asset is the biggest act of vulnerability, and it also creates the most connection. And it also takes a lot of pressure off in the best way. Again, if you have been feeling pressure to have things apart, maybe if you’re like creating a slideshow your graphics on your website, or the website itself, or your offer or your product or like, yes, there’s something to be said for high quality work, but we tend to take it too far.
And we overwork things we tweak and perfect and refine. And we often take out the humanity that would have better served the person on the other end than having to be perfect so that we can feel safe and in control. So with that said, I hope you enjoy this episode, whether you’ve already listened before, or this is the first time I know that it is going to empower you. It’s gonna relieve some pressure. It’s gonna have you feeling good. So stay tuned. Listen all the way through. And yeah, let’s just get into it.
Hi, and welcome to episode 188 of the perfectionism project. My name is Sam Laura Brown and I’m here to help you beat procrastination overcome perfectionism and become your best self. This morning inside our group coaching program perfectionist getting shit done. I taught a live money mindset masterclass for entrepreneurs I’m so excited because next week I’m teaching a money mindset masterclass for employees so that no one misses out.
But I wanted to record this episode for you today because on the masterclass this morning, when I was coaching some of our PGSDers, we talked about how empowering it can be for others, to show them that we are imperfect that were still working on things that were still struggling with things.
We tend to think that no one wants to see our struggles. No one wants to see our imperfections. Even though we find that so attractive in others. My guess is the reason you enjoy listening to this podcast is simply because I am sharing what I’m working on what I’m struggling with. I’m sharing a look at the journey, instead of just giving you information and preaching at you about what you should and shouldn’t be doing. Instead, I’m saying, Hey, this is what I’m working on. This is what I’ve learned on my journey. I hope it helps you too. And there are people who need that from you.
There are people who need you to be the messenger. We all know what it’s like, when we are giving advice to someone or maybe we’re receiving advice from someone and it doesn’t quite land. And then we go and get that same advice from someone else. And it resonates and we get inspired and empowered. And we take action. For example, I’m often on the receiving end of that kind of advice from Steve. And I will come home and say to him, Oh my God, I listened to an incredible podcast today. And they were talking about XYZ. He’ll go, Yeah, I’ve been telling you that for years. But he wasn’t the right messenger for that message for me.
I needed someone else, to say it in a way that really resonated with me. And often when it’s a certain messenger, were more receptive, even if it said in exactly the same way. And so there are different messages in our life, for different messages. And you are the messenger that someone needs that someone is praying, will come out of the woodwork and help them to improve their life or help them to simply feel less alone and to feel like there’s actually nothing wrong with them. You are that messenger.
So in case you have been thinking, Oh, I can’t show up and share because everyone else is already saying this stuff, I would say, that doesn’t matter, that’s not a good enough reason not to show up. Because as someone who needs to hear it, in the words you would say and how you would say it. It doesn’t matter if there’s someone else out there who’s more experienced and has a bigger audience than you who is sharing that same advice.
There’s someone who needs to hear it from you. So I hope this episode will encourage you to be willing to step up as a leader, even though you feel imperfect, even though you feel like you don’t have things figured out. And I know right now, with everything that’s going on in the world, the world needs leaders, imperfect leaders, like you. And it can be challenging, because we are trying to figure out for ourselves, how to navigate everything that’s going on. And that’s what I’ve been going through for the last week.
Behind the scenes, I’ve really been thinking a lot and journaling a lot about how to navigate things for myself, and also how to show up as a leader, even though I don’t know what’s going to happen, even though I don’t know everything, and I don’t have all the information, but how can I still show up and contribute and do the best that I possibly can, knowing that it’s going to be imperfect. And knowing that it being imperfect, isn’t actually a problem. It’s so much better for me to show up and give it my best shot than it is for me to hide away and try to figure out how to show up perfectly. In which case, I would never actually show up. Because I’d always be waiting and waiting and waiting until I knew how to do it perfectly.
But the world needs imperfect leaders like you, there are five reasons why that I’m going to share with you in this episode. The first is that being willing to be imperfect, and to be seen to be imperfect, is empowering. It gives others permission. If you show up with your imperfections, with your struggles with your flaws, and you give it your best damn shot, and you share that journey as well with people. This isn’t just if you have a business and you’re sharing it with an audience, but you can share it with your loved ones, your friends, your family. It’s so empowering. It’s just gives so much permission. And I truly credit my business.
The reason that I’ve been able to get to where I am right now, is because others showed up imperfectly. They shared what they were working on, they shared what they were struggling with. They shared how much money they were making. They shared how much money they weren’t making, they just showed up and shared what was really going on. And I am so attracted to that my favorite podcast episodes are people who are just sharing what’s really going on for them. And that’s why I have done a solo show for so long. Because I love when people do that as well, where they’re just showing up.
They’re sharing, and they’re not doing so with any kind of idea that they need to be perfect. And they probably have their own struggles as well about thinking they need to be a certain way and impostor syndrome and all of that but they’re willing to show up and hit publish and put themselves out there and tell their friends and family or to just be that example to their friends and family that it’s okay to show up imperfectly so it could be for example, maybe you want to get healthy and fit.
It’s so empowering for others in your life instead of thinking okay, I need to do this perfectly and eat healthy every single day. Or if I don’t, I’ve ruined it. And I’m going to quit to instead, be an example to those around you through your actions that you can get results by being imperfect. Because if they look at you and see Wow, she’s the healthy and fitness healthiest and fittest she’s ever been. And still, she didn’t do it perfectly. Maybe I can do it too.
That’s the experience I had with business. When I saw others showing up and they were making a ton of mistakes. And yet they were still able to make an impact and they were still able to succeed. I thought, maybe I can do that too. And seeing people when they’re doing presentations with typos in those presentations or stumbling over their words or listening to podcasts where people lose their train of thought. Those things empower me.
They give me permission to just give it my best shot without having to overthink it without having to perfect it. Because when we spend all this energy perfecting, it’s not for the people around us, it’s not for their benefit, it’s for our benefit, because we’re trying to protect ourselves to stay part of the crowd, to not be rejected by others to not be abandoned, and, and all of that. It’s really, for our followers benefits. I don’t mean, Instagram followers, or whatever I mean, the people you are leading, it’s in their best interest that you do so imperfectly.
Perfection is only serving you and your ego, and your need to be seen to be doing everything perfectly. And I know when you have that perfectionist mindset, it can be so challenging because you intellectually understand that you don’t have to do things perfectly and get this compulsion that it needs to be perfect.
But just remember that sharing your imperfections, is so empowering for others, it gives them so much permission. And I’ll move on to my second point here, that imperfection is relatable, that’s part of the reason it’s so empowering, because they can look at you, imperfectly giving it your best shot. And going through those same struggles and overcoming those struggles, and making progress with them. Even if you haven’t overcome them poorly, I still procrastinate. I’m still in that perfectionist mindset. In some ways, I don’t have to be fully out of that to help you.
And it’s so much more empowering and relatable because I can say to you, yeah, I’ve procrastinated before I have spent years of my life procrastinating, here’s what I’ve done to start to get out of that mentality had so much more helpful than if I was to say to you, you shouldn’t procrastinate and I’ve never procrastinated before. So I don’t actually know how to overcome that. But you just shouldn’t do it. And you’re bad if you procrastinate, and bla bla bla, that’s not helpful. It’s so much more relatable, which means it’s so much more empowering to say, Hey, I’ve been there, I get it.
There’s nothing wrong with you. It’s not who you are, there are things that you can do to get out of that. Here are some things that I’ve personally done that have worked. Here are some things I’ve tried with my clients that have worked for my clients. So it serves you that I have struggled with procrastination, and perfectionism and impostor syndrome, and the curse of knowledge and everything that I talk about. Because you can see that I’ve been on that journey too.
And I’ve overcome it either completely, or I’ve made a lot of progress. And you go, Oh, I get that I can do that too. Maybe if she did that, I could do it. And on the call this morning, we talked about how when someone is a personal trainer, there might be this pressure to have this perfect body. And that if they don’t look like quote unquote, a personal trainer, then no one’s gonna want to work with them. And then they’re a fraud. But the reality is for most people, they don’t want the shredded PT. They want someone who looks a little more like them.
And they can see, okay, well, that person’s fit and healthy, and I’m not intimidated by them. And I can just show up and be who I really am and make progress like so important to remember that the only reason we want to appear to be perfect in that situation is for our own benefit. Because we have a story that we need to be that way to avoid rejection. But when we look at it, from the followers perspective, the person we’re leading, they want us to be imperfect, they want us to be more relatable.
And of course this can be have some mindset work that needs to be done as we grow and evolve. Because if we are really attached to being relatable, we can hold ourselves back and perpetuate struggles so that we’re not doing too much better than everyone around us. So I’m not saying that we want to struggle just so we can relate to others. But most of us have shared were struggling with any way that we can be sharing.
And even when you’re in a position where others are paying you for advice. It’s not unprofessional to say yeah, I’ve struggled with that too. And I’m still figuring that out. Or here’s what I’ve learned so far, instead of having to pretend that you know exactly what you’re talking about, and you have the answer. And that you’ve had that result in your life before if you haven’t had that, share that it’s so empowering for others, and it’s really relatable and it really helps and I had such a breakthrough.
When it came to coaching. I’ve shared this before that I had this idea that I wasn’t perfect enough to be a coach that I was still struggling with way too much to be able to help anyone else and it was my coach who shared with me is that it’s my imperfections that make me the perfect person to be someone else’s coach, I get it. I know what it’s like to be so severely, in your own way for an extended period of time, I have experienced that I have lived through that. I can empathize with my clients, I can relate and I’ve made progress.
And I can share what I’ve done and help them create the same results. They don’t want me to be this perfect person who’s never procrastinated and never said yes, when they meant no and no one they meant yes, when they were people pleasing, if I haven’t ever experienced that, it can be disconnecting. And this doesn’t mean that to lead others, you have to have experience in getting that result yourself. I don’t think that’s the case, either.
So don’t get it twisted. That’s not what I’m saying that if you haven’t gone through something, or you haven’t struggled with something, then you aren’t equipped to teach and lead. That’s not the case. But if you have been telling yourself a story that you have to be perfect, I want you to really recognize here that being seen as imperfect, as who you really are, is relatable. And it’s empowering. You don’t have to be a know it all, no one likes know it alls, who just talked down to them and say you should be doing this, you shouldn’t be doing that you should be better than this. It’s not empowering.
We want relatable leaders who inspire us and empower us to be our best selves through their example, through their actions. It’s so empowering when a leader is showing up imperfectly. And they’re not saying what we should do, but they’re doing what we should do. It’s really empowering to lead by example, to feel like I don’t even quite know what to say, or I don’t know what to say to friends and family. I don’t know what to say to my audience.
Lead by example, I know with everything that’s going on in the world right now can be challenging to know what to say. And I want you to just think about, okay, well, I don’t have to say anything to anyone else. But how do I want to be how do I want to inspire others to be. And again, it’s not about inspiring them to be perfect. Maybe it’s you want to inspire those around you to have open conversations about how they’re really feeling.
So instead of telling them that you initiate that conversation, it’s about helping others be vulnerable, helping them to see what the possibilities are. It’s so incredible. It’s so it’s so good, I think you probably thought I am so into this idea of imperfect leadership. And I am so so passionate about what I do with this business, because I really see it as each and every one of you have so much but it like It literally makes me tear up when I talk about this.
And that I can help unlock that potential for you. So please take this message seriously. The third point I have is that being willing to be imperfect, and be seen to be imperfect creates momentum, you cannot show up. If you are waiting to be perfect, like there is no momentum created there. Because you will always be waiting and never be creating. There’s so much you can share right now. You don’t need to learn any more, you don’t need to record it again.
You don’t need to figure out exactly how to say it. If you show up consistently, meaning more often than not either for your customers and clients for your friends and family. That creates momentum, you can begin making progress. And there’s nothing more satisfying in life than feeling as though you’re making progress. It’s not even making progress itself. It’s feeling as though you’re making progress.
And this is why inside PGSD, I have a weekly review exercise. And we also have an impossible goal Quarterly Review exercise because when we’re in this perfectionist mindset, we tend to dismiss any progress we’ve made. And so we’re denying ourselves with that incredible feeling of momentum. And that feeling only comes up sense that we are making progress when we are showing up. And when we allow ourselves to see that we’ve been showing up and that it is actually good enough.
So I want to remind you, imperfection, being willing to be seen to be imperfect, will allow you to create momentum in your life not just in business, in health and fitness in relationships. It’s what helps to move things forward, if you’re always waiting for more confidence, more money, the perfect time. There’s no momentum to be created there because you’re at a standstill, while you are waiting to be perfect. Nothing is getting done.
And it was really interesting on the masterclass. One of the PGSDers was saying that she’s scared to show up consistently on her Instagram account, because it might be a waste of effort. And it’s going to take a lot of time. And then I said to her, Well, how much time do you think you spend thinking about this and not actually doing anything? And she said, well, a lot of time, I spent a lot of time thinking about this. So it’s really interesting that we’re scared of wasting time. And yet, we’re still spending that time we’re just spending that time in the struggle, instead of in creation.
And the reason we do that, is because it’s so much more comfortable to be struggling, to be confused, to be in drama. And I said to her, Well, what would happen, it was actually very easy to show up, and there wasn’t actually any drama, you’ve got the content, you know what you need to say. What if it was actually easy. And for her, what came up is that the drama around posting, is serving her by keeping her from having to take action, that drama, is protecting her from scarier things from more uncomfortable things.
And so it’s scary to let go of the drama, because then you just have to show up and put yourself out there. But I really encourage you to do that to show up to put yourself out there, whether it’s with your friends and family, whether it’s with your customers and clients. Imperfection creates momentum. My fourth reason why the world needs imperfect leaders like you is because it also creates growth, we can’t have growth experienced growth, either personally, or in our business, or our careers, or health and fitness or our relationships without taking action.
Action is what helps to create that momentum. It’s also what brings up all of the mindset work we need to do if we’re stagnant, can feel like we’re doing a lot of mindset work. But if we’re not taking action, it’s very matter. We’re thinking about thinking, I know, there’s a good chance when you’re doing your personal development work that you’re trying to get all of your thoughts in alignment with what you want them to be before you take action.
And yes, we want to be doing that work to upgrade our beliefs. But we need to be taking action and creating evidence for the beliefs that we want. And bringing up that mindset work that we need to do. Another reason it’s incredibly powerful to be an imperfect leader relating to growth is that people love being on the journey with you. And I know that I get so much feedback from people who say, I’ve been listening to you since the beginning of the podcast, or since you were Smart 20s or back in the day.
And it’s so inspiring to see how much you’ve grown and how much your business has grown, if I showed up, trying to be perfect from day one, which I was trying to be perfect. But I wasn’t succeeding at it, thankfully. But they have seen that evolution right before their eyes. And that has inspired them, because they can relate to where I was. And so they can see, okay, maybe I could be where she’s at now and go where she’s going to, because my beginning looks quite similar to her.
But get it I don’t mean relating to gender or race or anything like that. I mean, the mindset, they can relate to my fears that I had in the beginning, many which I still have today, sorry to tell you that they didn’t go away. And the doubts that I had all of those thoughts that were going on, they can see that they’re having similar thoughts, and that with those thoughts with my brain telling me you’re never going to be successful, who are you to show up this way. My brain was lying to me. And maybe their brain is lying to them as well.
So be willing to bring others along for the journey. I know it feels so vulnerable to put ourselves out there and we don’t have all the answers and when we don’t quite know what we’re doing and we don’t quite know where we’re going to end up. But it’s actually in sharing that before photo instead of just the after photo that we can really inspire others about what’s possible and again for me when I’ve really been inspired. I don’t know if I did mention this or no.
Anyway, I have really been inspired by people who have shared their journeys and where they’ve been in the beginning and where they are now because I can say, Okay, well, they’re somewhere right now where I could never imagine, but they will want to exactly where I am right now. Like, really think about this. Someone that has the result you want to have was once exactly where you are right now, like exactly what you are thinking the same thoughts, experiencing the same kind of results or lack of results.
They were once there too. So please don’t hide the messy beginnings, and the messy middle, and the messy end, because it will help others to show up as well. And they will be able to see your growth, which will inspire them to believe that they can grow as well. It’s also really, really, really, what’s the word? Uplifting to hear that kind of feedback when people can say, oh, say to you, Oh You’ve grown so much, or you’ve really made so much progress.
And when we’re in a fixed mindset, the perfectionist mindset, we hate hearing that because we think that means initially we weren’t good enough or whatever. But when we’re in the growth mindset, there’s nothing more satisfying than hearing about how much growth we’ve made in our lives and that growth was evident to others, that it’s able to serve others.
The fifth reason why the world needs imperfect leaders like you is because imperfection creates impact. And I mean this in that, if you are waiting to be perfect, you’re not going to be showing up. And that does not help anyone. But if you can show up imperfectly, like I am right now, and like I’m encouraging you to do, then you can make an impact. You don’t have to be perfect, to help. And being perfect isn’t helpful, which is the argument I’m trying to make in this podcast episode. The world needs you exactly as you are saying exactly what you’d say exactly when you’d say it and not any different not like anyone else. Know, it’s such a cliche thing to say that the world needs you for who you really are.
But when we can really let that soak in, and recognize that the world needs us as who we are, and who we aren’t, with all of our imperfections and flaws, that’s when we can make an impact is one by inspiring others in the ways I’ve talked about. But also, if you have advice that you’re sharing, or a message you’re sharing, whether it’s with customers and clients or whether it’s with your loved ones, you will actually be able to share that message. Instead of Oh, well. I don’t quite know how to say it or the perfect video to post or, you know, how do I add that to one of my loved ones. So I just won’t say anything at all like that. Doesn’t help anyone.
And one way that I really like to do this, and you might have noticed this is that I talk about myself, instead of saying, Hey, I think you should do this. And I get a lot of criticism for talking about myself. It’s personal development. It’s very personal, as I talk about myself, but also this is another reason to hurt myself, is because it helps you get your guard down and consider a plane what I’m talking about. If I’m here preaching, you should do this, you should do that. Most of us, unconsciously, or consciously go, you don’t know who I am, you don’t know my life, you don’t get to tell me what to do.
A lot of people who preach like that as well aren’t actually living their advice that they’re giving. But it’s really just so empowering, so important to be sharing from that first person perspective, especially if you don’t quite know what to say, instead of saying, Here’s my advice on this, to say, hey, here’s what I’ve been doing. And it’s worked for me, instead of oh, you should do this thing. And this will really work for you. And you really need to read this self help book or whatever, which people hate hearing. If you didn’t realize that already, you probably have.
Instead it’s just living by example, and sharing what you’re up to. And it’s been so fascinating, especially the last few weeks with everything that I’ve been doing the last few years with the business and my money mindset. And when I started my business, Steve didn’t know anything about what I was doing. I didn’t know anything about what I was doing. And just in these last few weeks, we’ve had a lot of conversations about money mindset, where just from me, showing up and sharing what I’m doing.
And I haven’t said to him, you should do any work on your money mindset or anything like that. I’ve just shown up, done the work, I’ve shared that with him what I’m doing and what I’m thinking about, and also what I teach to others and different things like that. And he’s really now starting to think about money mindset. And the other day, he was just like, I really feel like your business is just on the verge of something and it’s so unlimited what you can do. And he didn’t think like that when we first started. But I didn’t think like that either. And in the beginning, I relied on his faith in me to get through. And that was so helpful.
And then now I’ve also really had to develop that faith in myself, which of course is what got me through everything. Doesn’t matter if people believe in your view, at some level, don’t believe in yourself. That doesn’t mean you have to feel confident. It just means that you’re willing to show up even though it’s scary as fuck. But now when I am just showing up with my friends as well and other people in my life, I’m just doing my best to live what I teach, and to be an example of that, including all the imperfection, and I have no idea what I’m doing a lot of the time and all of that. I share that.
And by the way, not with everyone in my life. I know a lot of you like other people, I just can’t talk about this kind of stuff with. Me too. I get it. I’m not telling everyone about this stuff. But those relationships that I have where people are open to hearing about what I’m up to I share it. And for many of them it has inspired them either to start a business or to do things in a different way or to do show up differently in health and fitness or relationships are different things like that on money mindset, just from me doing that.
And of course, there are people who haven’t been impacted by it or aren’t following what I say or what I do. And that’s totally okay. It’s not about trying to change other people, it’s just about being an example. And if you were saying as well, like, I just need more inspiring people in my life and be that inspiring person. You need to be that inspiring person, that person you wish was in your life, because you’re going to be in your life for your whole damn life. So if you have been wanting different relationships, of course, we need relationships as humans with other people.
But if you have been waiting for someone to show up in your life to fill these different needs you might have or to be more inspiring and empowering. Maybe you wish your partner was more supportive. Write out all those things you want to get from someone else, and fulfill those needs for yourself. Really, truly have to think about that if you are waiting for someone else, to be meeting your needs, you need to learn if it was so damn easy to meet your needs, why aren’t you meeting them?
We expect others to be able to meet our needs, and yet we can’t even meet them. It’s insane when you think about it that way. Why would it be any easier for them than it is for us? If it’s so easy? Why can’t we be an example of that. And then when we’re meeting our own needs, we don’t need to have other people meet them. And we can show up and have those relationships and love on those people and be there with those people and have amazing conversations and all of that.
But it’s not from this place of you need to give me something that’s I’ve got my needs met. And let’s go through life together. And let’s have this experience together. If you’ve been waiting for someone to enter your life who’s a little more inspiring, or who has an abundant money mindset or a growth mindset, stop being that person, because there are people in your life who need you to step up and be that person. And even though at the moment with what’s going on. There’s a lot of uncertainty. And truly, we talked about this in one of the PGSD business coaching calls.
The one last week, there’s always uncertainty. We’re talking about there at the moment with Coronavirus, there being uncertain times when has anything ever been certain. We don’t know, when we’re going to die. When we’re going to do anything. We have plans. But a lot of the time, life happens things happen in life that completely blindside us. Life is uncertain. And yet we get to hold on these are uncertain times, they always are uncertain, we just tend to forget that life is completely uncertain on a daily basis.
And it’s just when things are changing that we think oh my goodness, everything’s so uncertain right now, when really, it’s never been any different to that. So I just wanted to mention that too. But right now the world needs you to step up to be a leader, even though you feel that uncertainty to even though you might feel scared. Even though you don’t quite know what you’re doing, how to navigate everything. The world needs you to stop waiting to be perfect.
We need you exactly as you are saying exactly what you’d say exactly when you’d say it by showing up. That’s how you can create momentum and growth and impact. You can empower others with your relatability and your vulnerability. So please, I implore you to be that imperfect leader to start taking those steps, doesn’t matter who you’re leading. Doesn’t have to be in a business context. Again, this isn’t about business. This is about leading in all areas of our lives, most of us haven’t got practice being a leader.
And I found this really fascinating last year, especially learning how to be a leader in our PGSD community, and empowering others learning how to be a leader of our SLB team and empowering them. I realized that it’s a skill set that I didn’t really get taught. And it’s not like I was entitled to getting told that, that others should have taught me. But I noticed how this is a skill that I’m needing to work on. And my instinct when there’s a situation of Lead or Be Led. My instinct is to be led. And so I’m developing that, that drive to step up and be a leader because I think the reason I’m thinking oh, it’s better to be led this is at that subconscious level is that there are others who know more. There are others who are better leaders than I am.
When really I am the best leader for so many people in different areas. And I am denying them or something If I’m thinking of this, someone else doing that already, and it’s not to say as well, I know I’ve been saying this a lot. But it’s not to say that you don’t have leaders in your own life. Just because you’re a leader yourself doesn’t mean you also aren’t being led by others at the same time, where leaders and we’re being led simultaneously. But if at the moment, you’re just being led, and you can relate to what I share on this podcast, or inside perfectionist getting shit done.
Again, I won’t cry again, but you have so much potential, and I really see my role in this is to help you get out of your own way and do that thing that you are here to do. And then you can have the same impact on others who will have the same impact on others. And it will just be that ripple effect outwards, you need to get, you don’t need to be a perfect leader. No one wants you to be one, either. No one wants you to be perfect.
Only your ego does, so that you will never be left alone. Everyone else wants you to be who you really are. And we’re scared to show up as who we are. In case we’re not loved. It’s easy to be a watered down version of us. Because then if someone rejects us, we can say, Oh, well, that wasn’t the real meat anyway, they don’t really know who I am. It’s scary to show up and to allow ourselves to be seen. That doesn’t mean we have to share every little thing that’s going on.
But we do need to be willing to be seen to be imperfect, ie to be willing to be seen to actually be ourselves. And knowing that it’s going to feel very vulnerable. But also that’s what will lead to the most connection. Because those people you do click with those people who do want you to be a leader will really, truly get you and want you to be in our life instead of this watered down version. That’s the thing when we were trying not to be our real selves, so we can’t be fully rejected.
We can never be fully loved either. We have to be willing to let people in, it’s hard as fuck if you have that perfectionist mindset. But it’s part of life. We’re all learning this together. So that’s what I have to share with you today. I hope it’s helped. I hope it inspired you to get out of your own way. To have those conversations, you need to have to lead with your actions. And by your example, to go on posts on Instagram, if you’ve been procrastinating on that, even though you don’t know the perfect thing to say on stories or whatever, I don’t care start showing up and I encouraged.
One of our PGSDers to do a 30 day experiment, to just post everyday not to get a streak, we’re not about trying to get a perfect streak, but as many individual days as possible, to just practice showing up to practice being that imperfect leader and to know that even if it doesn’t get the result she wants as in lots of praise and love and attention and all of that, that it’s valuable for the people in her community, for her to show up and be that imperfect leader because it gives them so much permission. And even though we know all of this stuff that I’ve been talking about in this episode about how it’s so empowering and how it helps others, doesn’t mean your brain isn’t going to freak the fuck out when you start showing up.
And it doesn’t mean your brain isn’t going to tell you like Who Who are you to do this. Just sit down, be a follower, like everyone like, your brain isn’t going to want you to step up and be a leader, particularly if that’s not something you’ve been in the habit of being. But you can create a new identity for yourself around being the kind of person who can lead others and inspire others with your actions, your imperfect actions.
So just keep that in mind as well. I just wanted to mention two other episodes in case you can relate to what I shared that will also help with this. So episode 149 was on how to overcome impostor syndrome. Because that may be something that’s going on for you that you were just feeling like, Who are you to show up and to share things and you haven’t got everything figured out. And so you can’t do that.
And imposter syndrome is just a really fancy word for doubt. But if you are experiencing that, Episode 149 is for you also episode 94 on the curse of knowledge, a lot of us don’t step up to be leaders, because we think well, everyone already knows what I have to share. This is common knowledge. This is basic, this is boring. But that isn’t true. A lot of the stuff that we think everyone else knows they don’t. And a lot of the stuff that we think is really boring about our lives is very fascinating to others.
So, listen to episode 94. If you’re feeling like you know, I just don’t have anything profound to say a lot of us think we need to be saying things that are life changing and wise and profound. On every time that we share, but that’s not true. A lot of times it’s the most basic things that help others. And a lot of us have had that experience where we say something to a loved one or to a client. And we don’t even feel like we’re saying anything helpful. And they’re like, Oh, I just remember this amazing, like, you’ve just given me this amazing idea.
What will happen is, you’ll talk to that person, maybe a few days a week later. And like, remember, when you said this thing that was so helpful, and that’s just stayed with me. And a lot of times were like, huh, like, I don’t even remember saying that. It’s because we’re too close to the value of what we have to offer to actually be able to recognize it. So you just have to trust when your brain is telling you. This is boring, everyone already knows is that your brain is a liar, a filthy liar. It’s time to stop believing those lies.
So I hope this has helped you if it has, then take a screenshot and tag me on Instagram, so I can see it. I love seeing you guys listening to this and seeing where you listen to. I’m @samlaurabrown. If you have a friend who you know, is leader material, who can step up and make a change in this world, and yet she’s so in her own way or he and you want to encourage them to get out of their own way and be that imperfect leader, please share this episode with them. Hope you’re having a beautiful day and I’ll talk to you soon. Bye.
If you want to make sure that the hard work you’re putting into your business isn’t a waste of effort, then I invite you to check out the power planning course. It’ll teach you how to plan properly as a perfectionist with power planning so that you can get out of your own way in your business. And so that every hour you put into your business gets doubles the return. You can find out more and sign up today at samlaurabrown.com/powerplanning.