A few days ago I found myself on Youtube, mesmerised by Oprah Winfrey’s graceful hand gestures as she imparted wisdom on a class of Stanford business students.
In case you weren’t aware, Oprah is my idol.
And it’s not unusual to find myself binging on Oprah’s wisdom for hours on end, transfixed by her self-knowing. In fact, I feel like I’ve watched just about every interview Oprah-related Youtube video there is! But I digress.
There was something Oprah said in that interview that has really stuck with me.
Oprah’s advice for twenty somethings
When asked about the challenge of figuring out what to do with our lives, this was Oprah’s advice for twenty somethings:
The way through the challenge is to get still and ask yourself ‘what is the next right move?’. Not think about ‘ooh I got all of this to figure out’. What is the next right move? And then from that space, make the next right move and the next right move and not to be overwhelmed by it because you know your life is bigger than that one moment.
How to decide what to do with your life
I think deciding what we should do with our lives is completely overwhelming.
We’re constantly reminded that we only live once, that we have to make the most of this one precious life we have, that we should be pursuing something that’s meaningful and fulfilling, that we should be making a difference.
We’re told we should be experiencing everything we can and seeing the world whilst also building a solid career and developing ourselves as people.
We don’t want to let our parents down, we don’t want to let our friends down and we certainly don’t want to let ourselves down.
We live in a different time to our parents and grandparents. It’s no longer enough to just pick a corporation to look after us for the next 45 years and be done with life’s big decisions.
And thanks to the internet, success is available to people of all ages. So not having achieved worldwide critical acclaim by the age of 25 can feel like complete and utter failure.
No wonder we feel lost. No wonder we feel confused.
Not sure what your next right move is?
I know a lot of you feel completely lost and have NO idea what your next right move should be (as helpful as Oprah’s advice is). It’s not easy figuring out what to do with your life so I’ve created a step-by-step guide to help you figure out exactly what you should do next. And it’s FREE!
The guide includes 3 simple (not easy) steps to determine what your next move should be.
I encourage you to download the guide if you always find yourself saying you ‘don’t know what to do’ with your life or you feel like you have no idea what you should do next!
Making life decisions as a perfectionist
You might know that I don’t agree with the people that say perfectionism is a positive character trait.
Sure, perfectionists produce a very high standard of work and they work very hard to do it. I definitely agree with that. But in my experience, perfectionism is so limiting that it completely wipes those benefits. And that’s especially the case when it comes to making life decisions.
Perfectionism makes us indecisive. We’re indecisive due to the fear of making the wrong decision. Due to the fear of making a decision that isn’t perfect.
It makes us feel confused. It makes us feel like until we land on that perfect answer, we don’t have an answer at all.
And so we don’t do anything. We indulge in the confusion – it feels more comfortable to not ‘know’ than it does to make a decision that might not be ‘perfect’. We’ve put so much pressure on ourselves to only do what is perfect that we end up doing nothing at all.
And time continues to pass.
We see more and more people becoming successful. More and more people who are younger than us becoming successful and that pressure to make a perfect decision feels even more oppressive.
So we continue to do nothing. We continue to be crippled by the pressure to make a perfect decision. A perfect move.
How to make the next right move
And Oprah gets that, she gets that it’s overwhelming and confusing and a lot to figure out.
So what’s Oprah’s advice for twenty somethings?
Just make the next right move. Not the next perfect move, the next right move.
And this means a couple of things:
Firstly, it means that we don’t have to ‘know’ exactly where we’re going to end up. We don’t have to know exactly how our life is going to play out (and how boring would that be anyway?).
It also means we have to actually start taking action and doing something. Sitting in indecision and confusion is no longer an option because we don’t need to figure out ‘the’ answer.
All we have to do is think about what we know to be true at this moment in time and make a decision based on that. That’s it. That’s all Oprah’s advice for twenty somethings is.
We just need to decide what the next right move is. And from there we can make the next right move and then the next right move.
And yeah, it might turn out that one of those moves was ‘wrong’ or could have been better. But that doesn’t matters. All that matters is that we’re moving in the direction we think is right at any given point in time.
We can change our minds as we go. We can change our path as we go. We can change anything as we go.
And if you feel like you have no idea how to make the next right move, make sure you get a copy of the free guide I’ve created for you!
It will show you exactly what you need to do to follow Oprah’s advice. I am warning you though – the 3 steps to make your ‘next right move’ might be simple, but they are not easy (but since you’re reading a blog post like this, I know you’re prepared to do what it takes to make the most of your twenties).
Just click the button below to get your free copy so you can start getting your life on the right track!
What you should know about success
I’ve always been obsessed with finding out everything I can about people who are successful.
When I was younger, this meant parking myself in front of every celebrity interview I could find on TV (which is probably how I ended up being obsessed Oprah). Now, it means listening to every business podcast I can get my hands (ears) on. And what can I say – I’m still obsessed with celebrity interviews!
If there’s one thing I’ve noticed about successful people, it’s that they continue to do things. They continue to make one move after the next. And many of those moves wouldn’t be considered ‘perfect’.
I’ve learned there’s never a clear path from A to B.
Just think of Justin Timberlake’s horrible double denim phase with N’SYNC – he had to go through that to get where he is today (mind you, I love me some chic double denim but JT took it to the next level). Martha Stewart went to jail for insider trading before building a multi-million dollar homemaking empire. Vera Wang didn’t even get into the fashion industry until she was 40.
And Oprah? She didn’t get her first talk show until she was 30 and even then it took years time for it to take off (it wasn’t even called the ‘Oprah Winfrey Show’ for 3 years after airing).
We tend to forget that all of the people we look up to have had messiness in their lives. They had confusion. They made bad decisions. And they’ve just been putting one foot in front of the other.
And that’s all we can do. It’s all we need to do – just put one foot in front. Then the next foot. And then the next foot until we end up where we need to be.
What do you think?
Do you feel like you have absolutely no idea what your ‘next right move is’?
I’d love to hear what you think about all of this in the comments below!
P.S. If you’re a procrastinator, keep reading to learn about my online course for procrastinators called Get Out Of Your Own Way:
Take your life to the next level
Four years ago, I found myself trapped in a vicious cycle of procrastination and guilt. Whenever I tried to do simple life tasks (like going to the gym, eating right and organising my time) it felt like I was trying to move mountains!
After work, I was too exhausted to do anything more than make food and lay in bed watching another episode of my favourite show. I kept telling myself I deserved a break, but I never enjoyed it. I felt guilty for wasting my time but I didn’t stop (and when I did find myself with time to do the things I wanted, I just kept procrastinating – gahh!).
And I wish it stopped there, but then I beat myself up for procrastinating! I felt like I was behind everyone else and letting everyone down, so I procrastinated even more.
No matter how many hours I spent reading motivation articles on Pinterest or how many times I filled out a new planner, I just couldn’t make myself change – even though I knew I was the one stopping myself from progressing. And I had all the advice right in front of me!
And because this whole situation was frustrating AF (and I knew I was better than that, even though I didn’t have the evidence to prove it) I dedicated myself to figuring out how to stop sabotaging my own success.
After trying hundreds of different things, it finally clicked! And this year I’ve been able to quit my full-time job for blogging, I’m more productive and focused than I’ve ever been in my life and I’ve finally stopped feeling like I’m behind! Plus it’s actually easy to workout everyday and eat healthy (which I never thought would be possible).
And since everything I’ve learned has COMPLETELY changed my life, I decided to put the very best of it together in a step-by-step course!
My online course for procrastinators
Get Out Of Your Own Way is a self-paced online video course that gives you the tools and mindset shifts you need to stop procrastinating, follow through with all your plans and have the courage to finally pursue your dreams – even if your life is totally overwhelming and you have no idea what you want to do!
I’ll just let you know that this course won’t be for you if you’re looking for quick-fix procrastination tips (let’s be real – you’ve seen all those already and they haven’t worked) or you’re afraid to dig deep and uncover the real reasons you’ve been holding yourself back.
But if you’re ready to make a change and need someone to guide you through the very first step – it could be just the thing you need!
Haha that horrible denim phase, oh gosh thank goodness he got over that- but you’re right it is inspirational! I love Oprah’s advice too, thinking of the next move and dividing everything up into small parts, instead of focusing too much on the big picture and where you want to end up. I think following what you truly want to do, whether that’s simply intuition because you haven’t found your exact path is most important. It’s so easy to want to please our friends, parents, and family while forgetting about ourselves. Thank you for this wonderful post, I’m so glad I’ve found your blog!
My Lovelier Days
Thanks so much for your comment! I really do believe what Oprah said about focusing on the next right move and then the next right move – I think part of the reason we all get so tripped up in deciding what we want to do with our lives is because we think we need to know everything and be everything right now and we think we need to be able to see a very, very long way into the future.
Thanks so much for your kind words too!
This post is awesome! I signed up for the guide because as a multi-passionate creative it can be extremely overwhelming trying to figure out what I’m meant to be doing so any help simplifying things for me is a blessing. Thank you for putting this resource out for free! Also, I think you may like Marie Forleo. I am OBSESSED with her videos and her idol is Oprah as well!
Thanks so much Jess!
Yes I love Marie Forleo – she is incredible! I love the Youtube compilation video ‘Marie Forleo’s 10 rules for success’. You should definitely check it out if you haven’t seen it yet 🙂
I’m so so late to the Oprah obsession, but it’s funny that you wrote this just as I’ve been discovering lately how much I love her and all her wisdom. She’s just amazing!
Hey Coley 🙂
Omg how have you only just got on the Oprah train? I’ve been in love with her for SO many years!
I definitely recommend her interview with J.K. Rowling – amazing!
Great! I love reading posts like this!
I really enjoyed your post. I love that there is someone else out there that obsesses over successful people other than just me! I love Oprah but my latest obsession is Brene Brown. I love her talks and advice.
I wouldn’t compare Martha Stuart to Oprah for a second!
Martha Stuart had begun her publishing empire 14 years before she was caught committing fraud. She committed the white collar crime *after* she was rich and famous.
I see your intentions to inspire, but I’m never going to look up to her as someone to emulate.
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