You know that morning routine I preached about in this post? The one I absolutely loved that makes me feel so productive and energetic and ready for the day?
I don’t do it any more.
I don’t do it any more because I fell out of the habit. I loved that morning routine and I did it religiously for at least 3 months solid. And it was easy to keep doing – I had gotten into the habit:
Wake up. Wash my face. Fill up my water bottle. Do a little exercise (usually Blogilates-related, so good!). Write in The 5 Minute Journal. Read 10 pages of a book. Meditate for 15 minutes. Finish off my water. Get dressed for the day. Have breakfast.
It was definitely an overly elaborate morning routine, but it worked for me. I was in a groove and I was killing it. I loved this morning routine, and yet I stopped doing it.
I’ve found myself snoozing my alarm. I haven’t ‘had time‘ to do everything I want to in the morning. I am rushed. I feel unproductive. And worse still, I feel like I don’t know how to get out of the slump and back into my old routine.
Why am I telling you this?
Why would I admit that my ‘foolproof’ morning routine has come completely undone?
Because (a) this stuff happens and (b) it’s ok.
I’ve been in a period of transition for the last few months and I’ve been trying to keep everything the same.
All of this change (finishing uni, changing jobs, starting full-time work) has left me feeling like I’m just madly flailing around in all of the other areas of my life, not exactly sure what I’m meant to be doing or how all the new components fit together.
And this is all ok.
Why we shouldn’t feel guilty
I think we can be so harsh on ourselves, especially when we compare our present-day self with our past-self (which I think can sometimes be even more destructive than comparing ourselves to others).
For the first couple of months after I fell out of my routine I felt so guilty. Why couldn’t I keep my routine up? And why the hell did I have to preach about it being so easy to do on my blog?! The guilt trip I gave myself was relentless.
But falling out of a habit is ok. It happens.
I’ve finally started to cut myself some slack. I don’t have to be completely consistent with what I’ve been doing in the past. Change is going to happen and things are going to get shaken up and that can’t be helped. We all go through different periods in life and sometimes (especially when we’re in a period of transition) things are going to feel messy. And I hate things feeling messy, but it’s ok that they do.
Things won’t always go as planned. There will be change. And that’s all ok.
I still recommend that morning routine 100%, but it doesn’t work for me right now. I’m still doing bits and pieces of it (currently – wake up, wash face, blogilates abs and then a little exercise) but I haven’t got a set routine like I used to (I’m seriously working on not snoozing my alarm anymore). I’m working on figuring out a morning routine that fits my new schedule and that I love, and that takes a little time.
Things aren’t always as they appear
I’m also telling you this because it’s easy to look at insta or a blog and think that someone has the ‘perfect’ life. That they’re motivated and disciplined all the time. That they never make mistakes. That they know exactly what they’re doing.
But that isn’t the case. And I know you’ve heard that before, but I seriously think it can’t be said enough times (even though I know this is the case I still find myself believing that everyone on insta has a perfect, flawless life). I’m always completely shocked when someone tells me my life must be ‘perfect’ because it really, really isn’t.
What I’ve learned
So what have I learned from all this?
To stop fighting the messiness. It’s seriously hard to come to terms with the fact that everything in our ‘perfect’ little plan isn’t going to work out the way we’d thought, and it’s even harder if you’re a perfectionist.
Fighting the messiness only leaves me feeling overwhelmed and believing that I need to ‘figure it all out’. And this makes me feel like I have absolutely no clue what I’m doing, which makes me feel pressured to be making big, important decisions, which makes me want to not make any kind of decision.
But embracing the messiness and uncertainly allows me to grow and to improve because I don’t feel so pressured. Plus I can actually take advantage of unexpected opportunities and be open to different things that come up.
This is by no means easy to do, but I think working with the uncertainty (instead of trying to fight it) is the only way to get through that existential crisis so many of us seem to be faced with.
What do you think?
Do you compare yourself with your past self (and beat yourself up about not being as ‘good’ as you used to be)? Have you fallen out of a habit when you’ve got new things going on in your life?
Don’t forget that comments are always appreciated – I’d LOVE to hear your thoughts on this!
Sam, what a great post! I can relate. Most of the time I have a very energizing morning routine, but every once in a while I fall of the wagon. Still I manage to accept an off-day and try better the next morning. This works for me, it keeps me happy about me and my routine. xxx
http://www.daphnyscholsberg.com | lifestyleblog
Thanks so much Daphny!
That’s such great advice and something I definitely need to work on doing more of, I find it easy to let one day off turn into one week off and then one month – but it’s way better to do something almost every day than to do it every single day or not at all. Love your comment! (And love your blog btw)
Thank you! xx Daphny
I used to have my morning routine down too, but I’m in the exact same boat right now. I just snooze my alarm – something I’ve never really done before! Routine inevitably gets boring to me after a while, and I think I just need to switch it up a little bit and try something new!
I totally agree that switching it up can help so much! I find that although I love the familiarity that comes with routine I also find the familiarity can go too far and I begin dreading it because I know exactly what’s going to happen haha I’ve started to do a ‘morning routine’ again but it’s pretty different to the one I wrote about it my other post, I think switching it up really helped getting back into it instead of trying to force myself back into the old one.
Awww I miss you! Always love reading what you have to say Sam. You have a special way of motivating us all 🙂 Sending big hugs!
Aww thanks so much Lauren! big hugs to you too xxx
Love this post! I fall out of routine too sometimes. What helps me most is to realise that one off day doesn’t have to ruin your week and if you mess up on Tuesday, you don’t have to wait for Monday to start back up again.
Thanks so much 🙂 That’s such a good tip! I need to remind myself of that so much more often than I actually do.
Love this post! & I think it’s an important subject to talk about. I often compare myself to the past me. For example I used to exercise like a mad woman (it was way way way too much) and now I barely workout. This frustrates me at times. Why can’t I just exercise like I used to do?! But the thing is I am still trying to find a balance and that’s okay. I shouldn’t compare myself to who I was two years ago.
Thanks so much for your comment! I feel the same frustration when I compare myself to what I used to be like and I find it’s even worse than comparing myself to someone else because there isn’t really an excuse for why I’m not like that any more because I know 100% that I’m capable of it. Thanks so much for sharing 🙂
Sam! Oh how I miss your blog post so much! First congrats on finishing uni and starting a full-time job! I’m so happy for you 🙂 This post is amazing and I can relate so much to what you are saying. I’ve been in a transition for some time and things have gotten really busy in my life. I haven’t blogged for some time.
I realized that it is important to take a break and not be guilty of not doing what I think I should be doing. Things change and we have to realize that. I’m happy you are back to blogging and I’m excited to see Smart Twenties grow with your new changes. 🙂
P.S.: You have a nice book collection there! What are you reading next? I’m getting ready to share my reading list this week.
Awww thanks so much!! I really appreciate it 🙂 I definitely feel like I’m in that same transition stage and it’s hard to get into a new rhythm but I feel like I’m getting closer, I hope your are too!
I noticed you haven’t posted in a while, I hope you’ll be back soon!
I’m not sure what I’m reading next! I’m still reading Wild by Cheryl Strayed which I’m loving and I was actually re-re-re-re-reading Harry Potter haha couldn’t resist! But I’m looking for a new book, do you have any suggestions?
I definitely do this all the time! I’m always thinking about what used to be me, when if I actually think about it, things weren’t how I think they used to be. It seems like the past was perfect, when really it wasn’t. It was just as life is right now – so yes, it’s important to live in the moment and do what’s right for you in this moment in time!
Hope you have a lovely day!
BerryBloomXO.com | Beauty & Lifestyle Blog
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Yes this is soooo true! I always find myself looking back on the past and romanticising it but I know that at the time it just felt the same as life does right now and that in the future I’m probably going to look back on today and think how good today was. So so true! Thanks so much for your comment 🙂
heeey! hope you have a great day! do you want to follow each other via bloglovin? if yes, just follow me there and i’ll follow you back soon! http://www.bloglovin.com/blogs/anna-alina-3947784
I’ll have a look 🙂
This is something I deal with constantly! I always seem to try and make sure everything is planned but I mean if i did the same thing every day then my life would be pretty boring!
Such a good point Aleeha!! It is boring to do the same thing everyday haha sometimes I’m not really sure why I seem to strive for that. Thanks for your comment 🙂
It’s amazing how easy it can be to lose a routine isn’t it? Our weather here has been super warm which has made me lose the gym habit. I’m currently trying to get back into it, but it’s nice to hear I’m not alone. Good luck getting back into what makes you feel good.
Yep it is so easy to lose a routine, even if you’re fully in the habit of doing it! Whereabouts do you live? (you must be on the other side of the world to me as it’s winter here haha) I’ve found the some problem with the cold weather at the moment but it’s not so bad if I workout in the gym, I just need to bring my big jacket for the trip there!
Good for you for coming on and sharing this!! It’s not always sunshine and ponies, and I admire when a blogger can share the real side of things, too!! I’ve had it before where I get into an awesome routine, but then life gets in the way and two days off of the routine and it’s no longer a formed habit!! So frustrating!
I can’t stop “fighting” the messiness, but I could totally learn to embrace it more. I understand that most people don’t really have everything figured out.. It makes me feel more human when they actually admit it! You know?
Thanks for sharing a real post!! It’s refreshing and nice to see!! I mean, it’s not nice to see that you lost your routine because I know that feels AWFUL. LOL hopefully you get what I’m saying!! :O
Thanks so much for this comment Steph 🙂 I often feel hesitant about sharing a post like this because it’s really not too enjoyable to share how I haven’t lived up to my own expectations but I do it because I know it’s helpful and I know I’m not the only one! Thanks so much 🙂
It can be really hard to stick to a new routine – there are so many thought patterns we have to change to stick to it and it’s not easy changing something you’re in the habit of doing and thinking!
Love this! I do this all of the time, I always make routines or awesome habits for myself only to stop sticking to them and feeling super guilty after I quit. My new motto is “Life isn’t an Instagram/blog post”, namely, it’s not some candy-coated and pretty thing, it’s ~real~ haha.
I love it Paige! I really feel like sometimes I feel myself falling into the trap of doing things that look ‘cool’ to other people instead of always doing the things I actually love – such a good way to look at it!
Oh, man. That routine from the first post really does sound great. If only I had the lifestyle to have an actual routine 😛 Like you said, it’s okay. Messiness doesn’t have to be bad.
I try not to compare myself to the “old me,” although looking back, I’ve never really been a morning person 😉 Maybe in high school, when I’d wake up at 5:30am daily to sew myself a new dress or refurbished outfit, but after I dropped out I stopped having insomnia and actually discovered the miracle of sleep. 😀 I feel so much better sleeping 7 hours per night (rather than 3-4).
Yes sleep is amazing Marina! I used to seriously deprive myself of sleep because I thought being awake for more hours of the day was making me more productive and I could get more done but in hindsight I was always so sleep deprived that I could never give anything my best!
And it’s so true, if you’re not a morning person than an elaborate morning routine doesn’t really make sense!
Thanks so much for your comment 🙂
I’m so guilty of this, even just day to day I tend to compare myself to my past self, if that makes sense!
Haha I’m glad you can relate! I compare myself to my past self all the time and I hate it, 90% of the time it’s not constructive and I’m just beating myself up!
I love this post and the topic however as I’m getting older I seem to be getting more and more organised. I like having certain things planned and thought out but at the same time I won’t plan for months ahead as I prefer to see how things develop!
That’s awesome Layla! That’s the dream haha
I am guilty of throwing my routine out the window. I’m a complete night owl and for a time – about six months – I had changed my habits but the place I live at for university started getting a lot of break ins, over a number of months, where I stumbled across a would-be thief breaking into my car and the most recent incident of someone at my bedroom window at 2.30AM. Thus, anxiety has me up all night and now staying elsewhere until my lease ends. And it makes me feel so guilty!
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