Why You Will Never Be Perfect

why you will never feel as perfect as everyone else's life looks

I’m sure you’ve done it before.

I’m sure you’ve been scrolling through Instagram, Facebook, Tumblr or whatever it is you unconsciously scroll through and come across a photo of someone else that just makes your insides ache.

I’m sure you’ve seen a photo that has made you, if only for a brief second, wish you had their life. Or their career. Or their discipline. Or their body. Or their cute little puppy.

The question is whether this is a good thing or a bad thing. Or neither of the two.

The problem with inspo

Using other people as inspiration is SO unbelievably powerful.

And thanks to social media (Instagram being my favourite) it’s just so easy to find others to look up to. There are many, many people that inspire me to do, think and feel better. It’s motivating but at the same time, it’s so easy to find myself wishing I just had their life.

I find myself thinking they’ve got it so good and a stream of ‘if only’s’ immediately pop into my mind.

I think I would be happier if I looked like them, or had as much fun as them, or was as carefree, or had as many amazing outfits or had as many followers.

I know it is not logical to think this. Unfortunately, my brain often doesn’t really care whether it makes sense or not and I constantly find thoughts like this popping into my head as I scroll through a newsfeed.

I think this even though I know I’m only seeing a teeny tiny curated portion of their lives – the highlight reel. None of the struggle, none of the slip-ups, none of the self-doubt, none of the rejection, none of the dejection.

It doesn’t even make sense

We want to be the perfect version of that person – the version that that person isn’t even capable of being. And we beat ourselves up when we can’t meet that impossible standard.

How crazy is that?!

We know they’re not perfect, but we still can’t help but hold on to that illusion because if we don’t then we’re admitting that we could never be perfect. So we stay in denial. We continue to strive for this illusive ‘perfection’ that no one can achieve.

I’ve already written about my struggle with perfectionism a few times on this blog and I know that a lot of you reading this have the same struggle. Wanting everything to be perfect can be so paralysing but it is still so hard for me to come to terms with the fact that perfection is an illusion.

And what’s worse, it’s even harder for me to admit that being perfect wouldn’t even be that good (a completely crazy thought, I know).

Why we struggle

I feel like we think everyone else is perfect because we’re just so damn good at making assumptions. We’re just too good at filling in the gaps.

When we fill in those gaps – the parts of people’s lives that we don’t see – we fill them with rainbows and fairies and butterflies.

We fill them in with more of what we’ve already seen. We forget that everyone has ups and downs. And I guess this is part of the appeal of social media – a chance to appear as a better, funnier, prettier version of yourself.

My point isn’t that we shouldn’t use others as inspiration – we definitely should. When used properly it is a super powerful way to help us achieve our goals and to create even bigger and better goals for the future

My point is really just a point I’m constantly trying to remind myself – not even these ‘perfect’ people are perfect. They don’t get it right all the time. They don’t have fun all the time. They do experience rejection and dejection and self-doubt.

Perfection shouldn’t be the goal

There’s a quote that I love from Jim Carrey that I think sums it up pretty nicely – ‘I wish everyone could get rich and famous and everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that’s not the answer’.

I mean, I can’t really say it any better than that.

So I’ve been trying to become a bit more aware of what’s going through my mind as I scroll through Instagram. Is the stuff I tell myself really true? Do I really think that being like that person would solve all my problems? Do I really think that person’s life is actually the way it appears?

It’s a work in progress, that’s for sure. But working on it is a start.

What do you think?

Do you know what I’m talking about?

Do you find yourself wishing, however irrationally, that you had someone else’s? Do you struggle with perfectionism and do you find it hard to admit that maybe no one is perfect?

I would LOVE to hear if you’ve had to make this decision before – what did you decide to do? And are you happy with the decision you made?

Just leave a comment below and let me know, I’d really appreciate hearing what you think!

Sam xx


Author: Sam Brown

  • What an amazing post, I know a lot of us will relate to this I know I do. When I was 15 I used a lot of photos and INSPO to get thinner at the time I didn;t realise how powerful images can be to someone so I can really relate to this. In all honesty I try not to look at images of other people now . I am a constant wisher of being someone else I always think there life will be happier/better than mine but there could be someone thinking that about us? xox


    • Hi Marie,

      Thanks for sharing your experience with this! You raise such a good point – we just assume that no one would ever wish they had our life because we see the good and the bad, not just the good. But there’s a pretty good chance someone, who you may or may not know, does think that about your life!

      I also struggled with this a lot when I was a teenager, though it was only really Myspace then haha I imagine it would be pretty different being a teenager now, even only a few years later!

      Sam xx

  • Your posts are always so relatable and honest. This rings SO true for me. The Jim Carrey quote is perfect and I will definitely be writing that down in my notebook. thank you xx

    • Hi Jill,

      Thanks so much for your kind words, I’m so happy to hear you find my posts relatable! And yes the Jim Carrey quote is SO good, I’d love to hear what other quotes you’ve got in your notebook 🙂

      Sam xx

  • Really great post, Sam! 🙂
    I got to your blog by accident but now I’ve put it on my favorit list. I’m 23 myself and I still haven’t figured out who I am and what I really want in life.

    And of course seeing other pictures of people makes me question my life/choices/feelings. So yeah, I’m still jealous of those people who aren’t afraid to travel solo, wear bikinis while looking like a supermodel or just seem to have everything they wished for.
    It’s weird to think and feel that way but I also try to remind myself that I’m living MY life and not theirs. So everything you do, every decision you make and every step you take should be YOURS and as long as it makes you happy it’s the right one.
    And if I really want something (like traveling solo – haha!) it’s quite healthy to remind myself to stop whining and think of Walt Disneys wise words:
    “The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing”


    • Hi Samantha,

      Thanks so much for your comment! It seriously makes me so happy to read it 🙂

      I love that quote by Walt Disney and it’s so true. Plus I think there are probably people that are envious of your life, even if you don’t feel like they would be.

      And I definitely recommend travelling solo!! I’m going to send you an email 🙂

      Sam xx

  • It’s really great to find someone who thinks just as me! I am 15 years old, not even nearby twenty, and I, you know, struggle everyday just like you. On teenager years, you hit puberty and all, blah blah, and you fall into depression and you wish you were that person on that screen you are looking up on. That’s one of the main reasons why I just stopped using Instagram for a while. And I don’t think I am going there again anytime soon. During summer, I decided to change myself, instead of searching what the Kardashian’s are up to, maybe build up my self confidence. Your blogs really helping me a lot. Hopefully I can be a successful person in future.

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