In this episode I’m talking to one of our PGSDers, Jenna, all about the power of your Persistence Log. As part of planning properly as perfectionists we do a Weekly Review at the end of each week of Power Planning. And your Persistence Log in the PGSD Forum is the perfect place to share that – and I’ll let Jenna tell you why!
In This Episode You’ll Learn:
- What you miss out on if you keep your weekly review to yourself
- How your Persistence Log can become an anchor amidst the chaos of life
- What to do if you feel resistant to submitting your weekly Persistence Log update
- How Jenna gets back on track when she misses a week posting her Persistence Log
- The biggest lessons Jenna has learned from one year of Persistence Log updates
PGSD is opening to new students on 27 April 2022:
The PGSD Process will get you out of your own way in your business and have you making more money more easily. The doors to Perfectionists Getting Shit Done will be opening at 6am New York time on 27 April and closing at 11:59pm New York time on 3 May 2022. To find out more about the program and be the first to know when the doors open, join the waitlist here: samlaurabrown.com/pgsd.
Featured In The Episode:
- Join the waitlist for Perfectionists Getting Shit Done (PGSD) – samlaurabrown.com/pgsd
- Sign up for daily Perfectionist Power-Ups – samlaurabrown.com/power
- Follow me on Instagram @perfectionismproject
- Jenna’s instagram – @quevivavulnerability
- Jenna’s podcast – Que Viva Vulnerability Podcast (Apple, Anchor and Spotify)
Listen To The Episode
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FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
Sam Laura Brown
In this episode I am talking to Jenna, who is one of our PGSDer is all about the power of your persistence log. So inside PGSD, we are planning properly as perfectionist, following through 80% of the time, resting without guilt, and then repeating that, and that’s how we get out of our own way. And as part of planning properly as a perfectionist, so we set our growth goal. And then every week we are doing our power planning and our clean rest. And the persistence log relates to the weekly review step in your power planning.
So I know I’m sharing a lot of steps and different things here. But there are three steps to power planning. So you’ve got your power hour, little tweaks throughout the week, and then your weekly review. In PGSD we have specific prompts for you to answer for your weekly review, you can create your own prompts. But we want to make sure that you are reflecting on the week in a way that helps you to see where you are being growth minded, where you are getting out of your own way. You’re not just looking at your week in an all or nothing way, we tend to do that.
We tend to label a week as a whole, as either being productive and successful, or unproductive and unsuccessful. And a lot of times we view it as being unproductive. I didn’t do what I wanted to do and we miss where we are growing, we miss that. Oftentimes, we are actually doing what we want to do. We are showing up consistently. And Jenna speaks so well to that in this interview about how we don’t notice, especially initially, when we start this work of releasing our perfectionism handbrake. We don’t actually notice all the ways that we are getting out of our own way. And by sharing your weekly review in your persistence log in the PGSD forum, and actually publishing that instead of just keeping your weekly review to yourself in your journal, that that can really be a tool not only to develop self trust, but to have other PGSDers pointing out to you, the wins and the causes for celebration that you are probably missing
And so I really, really encourage you to listen to this episode in full. And to hear all about how posting your weekly review in your persistence log in the forum is going to help you get out of your own way and make that even easier. And also have your weekly review and your persistence log be something that becomes an anchor for you. And Jenna speaks to this as well how her persistence log really served as an anchor, when there were things going on around her that felt chaotic. And she didn’t feel like things were working that her persistence log and sharing, publishing, submitting her weekly review, in that way really helped her stay connected to PGSD and more importantly, to stay connected to herself to her future self, to the fact that her success is inevitable to what is possible for her.
So I’m so excited for you to be able to hear Jana chatting about her persistence log, her practice with that, at the time of recording this episode, she had published 48 weekly persistence logs. So nearly at the year mark, inside PGSD. And I just know that you’re going to get a lot from this, especially if you are a lurker. A lot of our PGSDers when they join, start out as lurkers, and I know what it’s like because I have tended to be that way when it comes to things that I’ll kind of just you know, work in the shadows and just see and observe what else is going on.
And you know, be reading other things and seeing what’s happening. But coming out of the shadows and actually sharing is something that over the last few years particularly I’ve really made an effort to do and the benefits of doing that of like de-lurking. And some of our PGSDers call it when they introduce themselves, when they start their persistence log, if they maybe did that after a period of time of being in PGSD. It’s never too late to post in the forum.
So if you have already been in PGSD for a while, you can delurk and you can start showing up and sharing and just knowing that PGSD is really designed and really created to be such a safe space for you to share this work that you’re doing on your perfectionism and your businesses such a great tool for working on releasing your perfectionism handbrake, so you will be surrounded by other PGSDers who are doing that same work who get what it’s like, who have goals that make your goals feel normal. And so, yeah, there’s just so much in this interview that is going to help you get out of your own way and have your weekly review and persistence log be a tool to help you with that. So without further ado, this is Jenna chatting about with me about her persistence log practice.
Sam Laura Brown
Hi, Jenna, welcome to the podcast. Would you mind telling us a bit about yourself? And also why you sign up for PGSD?
Yes, absolutely. First of all, thank you so much for having me on the podcast. It is so fun and exciting from being like a listener, to then a PGSDer and now being like, part of your creation is honestly such an honor. So thank you so much. Hi, I’m Jenna. I am an entrepreneur. And I’m actually incredibly proud to say that. I dedicate my time to learning what I need to learn about myself so that I can have a strong foundation to build the business. And the reason I say that is because I came to be PGSD with no intention of ever being a business owner or having a business or being an entrepreneur, even or anything.
I had a career path in my mind, and just wanted help with perfectionism. And now I’ve circled all the way around to being an entrepreneur, in route of building different businesses, a couple different businesses. So I joined PGSD, because I knew prior to PGSD, or prior to listening to the podcast, I knew that I was perfectionist, I was like, familiar with my version of what that was, and what that meant. And I had spent many years in like, psychotherapy, many, many years. And it was very helpful for me. But I got to a certain point with my psychotherapy, where I was feeling like, I needed something practical, like I needed, I needed, I was getting the emotional support that I needed, but I wasn’t seeing my life change.
And I was like, when is my life going to change? Like, when I’m doing everything that I know I can do, but my life is still not changing. And actually one of my, one of the therapists that I was seeing, and that was the other thing, perfectionism kept coming up as an issue in different areas of my life. Like all the things I would complain, or, you know, have struggles with like, it would all circle around perfectionism. So the same thing, I’m like, if I could just figure out how to deal with this, like, my whole life would literally change.
Anyways, so she recommended actually, the podcasts to me. She had heard it from somebody from somebody, somebody, and she recommended it to me. And that was the first time I listened to the podcast. And I swear, Sam, like, I immediately I was like, Oh, my God, I was laughing. I don’t know if I really cried, but like, emotional, just like, everything you were saying. I was like, This is my life. Like, yes, this is my life. But also, it was so nice to hear it be normal.
Because for me, in my own head by myself, on my own journey, it was this thing with shame. It was this thing with, oh, if I could just fix this, my life would be better. It was like this thing I need to fix. And like, this problematic thing in my life that was ruining my life. And hearing you talk about it, not only was it like, oh, there’s somebody like me, but it was also like, and there’s something to do about it. And it’s like, it just is what it is. It’s not this big, huge thing that needs to be ashamed about, you know, so I found the podcast, I listened to the podcast, I don’t know, maybe I honestly, I don’t know the timeframe. But I listened for a little while. Join PGSD, and I was in PGSD for a year, not committed, like not committed to the process.
This was before the PGSD process. So when you had like courses and different things, and the growth goal was in there, but I literally was a member and I, I probably went eight to 12 months not even entering the program. And towards the end of that year or so like towards the last two, three months. I was like, I’m just going to quit, I’m just going to quit. I’m just going to quit. I’m going to stop paying. And then finally in April last year, I decided to actually commit to the process. And literally my whole life has changed. My whole life presently. The trajectory of my life like has completely changed. So that’s how I found PGSD.
Sam Laura Brown
Thank you for sharing that. And I wanted to have you on the podcast, to chat specifically about the power of a persistence log. I thought that you would be one of the best people to speak to about this, because you have, I think, at this point done 48 weekly updates in persistence log. And that’s something to be so proud of. And I just want to chat to you about what your practice with your persistence log looks like. What really helps you when it comes to that? The difference that it’s made for you because we have.
So power planning, we have the three sets, which is the power hour, a little tweaks and the weekly review. And in our persistence log, which is in the PGSD forum. That is where a lot of PGSDers share updates and things but specifically, sharing their weekly review as a way to keep themselves accountable, to connect with other PGSDers, to share what’s coming up for them. And it’s such a great self accountability practice. And there’s so many benefits to it. And I just wanted to chat about it on the podcast, and I wanted to chat to you specifically about it. So would you mind sharing, in your own words and experience how you view the persistence log?
Absolutely. How I view the persistence log is, well, can I start with my journey with it? And then talk a little bit about how I view it? Yeah. Okay. So my journey with the persistence log, I started it April of last year. And it’s very interesting to reflect on how different it was then, and how to what it is right now. So I would say for about the first six months, of roughly, for about the first six months, maybe eight, but it was very much for me, I used it like a journaling tool. And I would kind of come in. And it really was like me being accountable to myself to reflect on like, kind of theoretically on my life.
And at about eight months or so I was like, wait, I’m not seeing practical like I’m not seeing, well, actually what it was is I heard you talk about your persistence log. And I’ve had heard you before and talk about how each week, you were able to kind of look back on your previous week and make adjustments for this week. And I was like, I mean, I know that’s happening in theory, but I don’t see like, I don’t see where I’m actually like looking and being like, oh, yeah, okay, let me make that adjustment and see what can happen this week. And not to say that that wasn’t happening. But it wasn’t clear to me.
And at that point, I decided to make a shift. And I made it where I was really specific in responding to the weekly… What are they called the weekly, weekly review questions, right? The weekly review questions.
Sam Laura Brown
Okay. So like, if we were to look at my, my persistence log, there’s this whole journey of like, one way of doing the resistance log, and then a total flip and switching it another way. And that’s beautiful. Like, that’s beautiful. I guess my point in saying that is just it’s an evolving process also. So whether you think you’re doing it right, or you don’t know what to do, or you’re not sure, like, just do it. And that’s actually one of the biggest things I want to say on this podcast at all, is literally just do it.
Even if it’s one sentence, honestly, if it’s one sentence, if it’s not even a word, if you’re just like, I’m just showing up, because I’m following through with my commitment, I have nothing to say, bye, publish. I think it’s valuable to just start every journey is going to be different. I could tell you, I’m am telling you my journey. But your journey could be totally different for you also. And if you just show up for it, though, you’ll see the changes in your own life. There was something else I wanted to say about, showing up. But I think we could just move on.
Sam Laura Brown
That’s okay. So tell me with your persistence log and, you know, posting that publicly, so to speak in the PGSD forum so other PGSDers can read it. What would you say is the advantage to doing that versus just doing your weekly review in your journal and then not sharing it in the PGSD forum?
I think first of all, it’s for me, it was a sense of coming out of shame also, because when I write it in my journal, it’s still really private. And like I can still hide in some way hide, even if I’m being completely honest and vulnerable, it’s still there’s still a different layer of breaking down shame when you share it with someone else. And it’s such a safe space, like, such a safe space to share that it really is one of the best places, I don’t know, other places someone would have. But like, it’s such a great place for you to take that risk and share.
So one breaking down the shame that’s intertwined into everything. And also, oh, my gosh, the support that you get, in response to what you share is truly mind blowing. I actually was reading through my weekly log to get ready for the podcast. And I was just noticing how, gosh, one, it was such a breath of fresh air when I was feeling like I wasn’t, you know, especially in the beginning of my journey, like I wasn’t where I should be, I wasn’t where I needed to be, I wasn’t being productive. I wasn’t doing all these things and to have somebody else be like, “Hey, look at this”, like I’m celebrating you look at look at this pattern. Look at look at how growth mindset this was that you did. Oh, wow. I remember like a few weeks ago, you weren’t even doing this.
And I think that’s so powerful, especially when we’re barely even learning the growth mindset to have somebody who’s few steps ahead of us. Being able to reflect the growth mindset back to us, because especially in the beginning, I was in nowhere near I was just being following through the with the process, being committed, you know, but I wasn’t at the point yet where I could recognize growth mindset, or recognize that I was doing it. So to have someone else put that input, I really truly think, I think that even if I was doing the weekly log by myself, I don’t think I would make the progress that I have now if I didn’t have that support too.
Because imagine, it’s like the difference of you’re just all alone, trying to learn someone something, have no one to show it to you. And so it’s like, okay, well, I’m not saying you’re not going to get anywhere, but you’re not going to get as far as you could with somebody a few steps ahead, showing and guiding and leading and you learning from what they have to say to. So like the modeling of the growth mindset. And just then also just the support in general, like just the genuine, like love and genuine cheering like someone is genuinely valuing your journey, even when you’re not, because that was at least for me, I’m sure there’s other people who can relate to like, I was looking back and I was even laughing sometimes at some of the things I wrote, because it was just so like, there was one log where I was like, I don’t even want to be here in this log today. I’m so discouraged. I wanted to be in the log yesterday. And now I’m not excited. But I’m just falling through my commitment.
And literally the next sentence, the next sentence was, so I followed through with my impossible goal outcomes again this week. And now it’s just like, oh my gosh, so I’m following through with my commitments. And like, that’s incredible. And yet, the very first thing I have to say is how I don’t feel like I want to be here and I don’t feel like I have anything to share. So anyways, like in that phase of just like not being able to see your own kind of value or your own. Not being able to see yourself through growth mindset. It’s so beautiful to see somebody else being able to do that for you where you are not when you’ve had gone gotten a growth mindset, but even where you are right now. Someone else is able to see that and pull that out. And I it’s literally invaluable. Is that the right word?
Sam Laura Brown
Yeah, I’m so happy that you shared that.
Where there’s like so much value.
Sam Laura Brown
Yes, I’m so happy that you shared that because it is so important to remember that as we are releasing our perfectionism handbrake and getting our perfectionist mindset on our side and getting into the growth mindset that it is a process and that when we are so focused on like being in that all or nothing mindset of either I’m doing my perfectionist stuff, or I’m either in a growth mindset completely and there’s no in between. We miss so much of the progress we’re making when we are as you said, like you were showing up for your goal, and your brain wasn’t even seeing that even though you will literally type words.
And so having someone to point out to you, hey, I don’t think you noticed, but you’re making progress. And to have people pointing that out to you week after week after week means that we can then start to see it ourselves. And really notice like when we’re doing our weekly review and we’re sharing that to go, oh, even though maybe they are not on track for your quarterly milestone, if that’s a thing to be on track, or any of that we can see like, I am making so much progress, and my success is inevitable. But when we’re only thinking about the, for example, if we think about the growth goal in a perfectionist kind of way that we think, well, I’m only good enough if I achieve my milestone, and that’s the only sign of progress. And if that isn’t happening, then I’m not making any progress at all.
And we set our growth goal intentionally, above what we believe is currently possible for ourselves, so that we need to grow. So of course, it’s not going to be instantly successful, though, sometimes that does happen. But if we can have these opportunities and reminders that we are actually getting out of our own way, and we’re making progress, and we are being growth minded, it makes it so much easier to keep going and to keep persisting through the ups and downs. So I’m really glad that you mentioned that.
Is there anything that comes to mind for you, like you said, you gave an example. And you also said about, you know, people pointing out to where you were making progress that you were missing. Is there anything that you remember in terms of being growth minded, that you hadn’t realized was being growth minded and being out of your own way that you kind of just dismissed, that actually, was you making progress?
So I was following through with what I decided, and yet I, because I wasn’t feeling motivated because I wasn’t feeling necessarily, I guess good about myself, like my brain was just in the mental space to not even see that, to not even see that I was following through with the commitment, like, now, when I see myself follow through with a commitment. I’m, like, so excited, so excited. But at the time, I couldn’t even value following through with the commitment.
I couldn’t even value that I was showing up for my impossible goal. I couldn’t value that I was showing up for myself, showing up for what I had committed to because my brain was not trained to even see that as something valuable. Even though we want that’s the end goal is to get to our impossible goal, right. But even in that my brain was not trained to see that, it was not trained to or even if it saw, it wasn’t trained to register as something like valuable. Something being noteworthy like, oh, it just it just was, it was dismissed.
Sam Laura Brown
Yeah, thank you for sharing that. I think it’s so common that we don’t really place value on following through and showing up for ourselves and our goals that we have. And we think, well, it’s only going to matter and be worth celebrating if I actually achieved the goal. Otherwise, it’s a waste of effort. But really, when it comes to building our self trust and upgrading our self image and all those different things, we talked about in PGSD.
Celebrating the process, the showing up, the courage, that is what makes the journey actually enjoyable, which helps with things like burnout, and so much of that. But it also makes our goals inevitable when we’re actually then able to persist and to keep showing up. But would you mind sharing a bit about what your weekly review and persistence log practice looks like? Like do you hand write your reflection and then type it up and share it in the forum? Like, what Day of the week do you do it? What does that look like for you?
Okay, yes, but can I first you mentioned self trust? Can I say something about that first and dig into that a little bit? I think that is a huge component of this practice of specifically publishing the weekly review. Because if you’re practicing power planning, like you’re already that’s going to be a part of what you’re practicing and what you’re learning. But the part of publishing, it is such a self trust tool, I believe.
I remember learning. I don’t remember how much you talk about it presently. But saying, you know, make one simple promise to yourself, right. One simple promise of something that you can complete in a day. And for me, I do that separately, but also in your journey of power planning. Like power planning is hard. It’s hard. It’s a skill. It’s new. It’s something that you’re learning, like you’re not going to be excellent at it right away.
For me, in my journey of learning power planning, the weekly review and following through with it every week has been such a self trust tool for me. The trust in myself that I can grow that I’m going to show up, and I still don’t have power planning perfectly, not that anything, you know, it’ll ever be perfect. But I still see a lot of ways that I want to be stronger in my power planning. But I’m still going above and beyond in my life, even though I haven’t quite mastered that yet. And I really do believe it’s from that self trust that I’m building through doing that weekly review and putting it out into the world.
So that, like I said before, it’s so that the shame is coming down, like I’m working on, you know, separating from that shame, so that I’m getting support and encouragement so that I’m practicing that growth mindset. So I just want to highlight how valuable the weekly review in the form of persistence log is for developing that self trust, which if you’re in PGSD, and you’re trying to learn to do power planning, I know you want self stress, like, you can’t deny that.
Sam Laura Brown
Awesome, thank you for sharing that. Because self trust is one of the reasons that we do power planning is that it’s a tool to develop the ability to have our own back no matter how things are going, no matter what’s working, and what isn’t working, that we are able to show up for ourselves and to persist and to be kind to ourselves in a way that makes us more productive, not less productive. So thank you for sharing that. So tell us a bit about your weekly practice with doing your weekly review and then publishing it in your persistence log.
So the first time I did a weekly review, I did it on a Friday. So Fridays are my general, you know, my general checkpoint of when I would like one. That said, especially in the past few months, I probably most days, it hasn’t been Friday. And that’s okay. Like, I’m still doing my weekly persistence log, and I’m still showing up for it. And it’s still happening. And I and I’m still consistent with it. Like, even though it’s not on the exact specific day that I said I would do it a year ago. I’m still consistent with it.
So I, sometimes it’s Sunday, sometimes it’s Wednesday, but it is every single week. I think it’s also I don’t want to disregard having that checkpoint in my mind of it either. Because even though I don’t necessarily do it always on Friday, it’s helpful for my, you know, my body to have that routine in my mind of something that needs to be done. So I do think it’s valuable that I have it a checkpoint for it, even if it’s varying on when the follow through actually is. So the way that I do it is I actually don’t write out, I don’t write it out, even though I do value so much pen and paper.
I think I started that earlier on probably from in the realms of what would it take for this to be easy, because doing it easy. And not doing it with pen and paper, for me at the time was better than just not doing it at all, because I wouldn’t get myself to do it pen and paper, you know. So I actually don’t do it with pen and paper. I do it just on the computer. But I want to add that I also do thought downloads, pen and paper.
So I guess my point being is like pen and paper is very, very important. So sorry, I just want to add that pen and paper is important. But if it’s not like, and I do have it in my life, I’m in like the thought download aspect. But it doesn’t have to be specifically for this area. At least it hasn’t had to be for me. And it’s still been really valuable. So I I type up my responses I mentioned earlier that originally I kind of went by the framework of what the weekly review is, but in the beginning, a lot of them didn’t resonate with me in the beginning. And I think because I was still a lot more wrapped up in my all or nothing mindset. So it was harder, I think for me to be like more specific and more practical in evaluating myself.
It was still very much me trying to wrap myself around my emotions and like wrap myself around why this wasn’t happening and like what I needed to fix so that I would be more consistent like all these things. So originally, I didn’t even follow exactly what the weekly review questions were. A lot of it was just really kind of like a journaling. This is how my week is going. This is where I am on my outcomes. This is where what I’m doing. And then it evolved eventually to a complete switch where I strictly strictly do the questions.
And the reason for me for that switch is that I felt like I had grown in growth mindset, obviously, it’s a forever journey. So not like, Oh, I got it perfectly. And now I’m ready to move. No, not at all. But I felt like I had a really good foundation and growth mindset. And I also had, have and had at that point of consistent daily thought download practice. So by me switching my weekly review away from journaling, I still had an outlet for journaling in my thought download. So that was still something that I’d be able to have. But now I could also switch my weekly review so that they could be a different type of support to me. And for me more practical support.
Also, I feel like I’m not the only one who has had this in their journey of trying to replicate somebody else’s, what works for them, and take it on as my own. And either one feeling super motivated like that I finally found the key to fix my life, or two, feeling completely the opposite of motivated, because it’s not working for me, you know, but the weekly review really lets it be all about me. And really lets it be about what works for me and who I am. And I get to see that through reflecting on where, you know, where are the things I’m avoiding? Where are the things that worked? Where are things that don’t work, and like bringing that all into the mix when I’m deciding when to do my groceries, not just doing it on Monday, because it’s the first day of the week, and I should have food for the week. And that sounds like pretty in a box. You know, sometimes I don’t want to.
Sam Laura Brown
Yeah, I was gonna ask about resistance.
Sometimes I genuinely don’t want to.
Sam Laura Brown
Tell me more.
Yes. And like you can all look at my persistence log and you will see that I will literally say I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to write this log. I’m not looking forward to this. But I do it anyway. And also, by the way, there are also here in there, there’s a week I’ve missed, there’s three weeks I’ve missed, like I confidently am a consistent person who does their persistence log. And there are some weeks that I have missed. So I just want to throw that in there too. But yeah, there are days I don’t want to but I follow through because I know and I trust that whatever reason I don’t want to is less important. Then me falling through with the commitment, because honestly, usually I probably don’t want to because I think I’m either don’t want to admit that I’m not having a good week in my eyes, or I think that it’s not going to work quote unquote, work, like be something that fixes or, you know, make something better.
That’s honestly probably the two reasons why ever don’t want to, but one, I do it anyways. And two, I swear 100% of the time I come out of it, like light bulb, of either noticing how I’m being fixed mindset and having being able to pull in that growth mindset or being able to look and be like, Oh my gosh, look at all these good things, at least now at this point, you know, earlier on I think it was still I would sometimes get to the end and still not be happy about it. But even then I knew you know, somebody in PGSD would be coming along within a few days or whatever and would point out to something to me that just absolutely I had not seen and it’s so crazy to me how even know like I knew and I was confident somebody was gonna say something like I knew I was gonna have that support and I think it’s so amazing that even anticipating that I still was so wowed by what they said every time.
Like, oh my gosh, I did not see that at all. Like, I did not see that. I also want to say that for me, the weekly log, especially in the beginning phases, now, it’s just like, I don’t even think about it. It’s just, it just has like, I just do it every week, I just do it. But of course, in the beginning, I was still developing that trust, I was still developing that consistency. And I don’t know how often I wrote it in my log, but I know I felt it regularly, that my weekly persistence log or that PGSD and my connection to it through my weekly log was an anchor. It was an anchor for me in my journey.
Because especially in the beginning, when you’re like, oh, I want to learn growth mindset, but it’s the first time you’re ever even trying. It’s scary. It’s uncomfortable. It’s like, so much self doubt, so much of all of these things like it’s in your mind, because your brain is still functioning in this way, even though you’re trying to practice a new way, like your brain is still like, No, one of my favorite things to remind myself is like, your brain is freaking the fuck out. No, don’t do this.
And so for me, like PGSD, and my connection to it through the persistence log literally was an anchor, when I felt like and literally when my brain all it saw was craziness. And all it saw was this is wrong. This is not how we do things. This is bad, like you’re gonna fail, you’re gonna, the world is gonna end for you. Like, no, I had the anchor of like, but PGSD. But like, I know, even though I this, I’m feeling all this craziness going on, like, I know that PGSD works, like, I know that it’s gonna work. And if I stick to it, I know that my life is gonna change.
So, but if I hadn’t had PGSD, and I tried to do that journey on my own, I feel like without that anchor it’d be really, really difficult for me to essentially weather that storm because it’s just like, it’s not as at that point, it’s not even a storm. It’s just normal, like this is normal life. So I don’t know to be able to change it and have the anchor I’m sorry, I’m like so fixated on this analogy or metaphor. It really was and I found it looking in my personal persistence log, I found it and just remembered how much I really felt that just like that feeling of so like there was calm in the middle of my craziness because I could go to PGSD forum and right my persistence lock like there was calm in the middle of me trying to figure out this crazy growth. Well, what was crazy growth mindset to me at the time, which what now is like new life.
Sam Laura Brown
Something that’s really coming through to me is about your self image around being consistent. Like you said it so many times now that you’re someone who is consistent and not. That wasn’t my guess is when you’re doing PGSD that wasn’t the case. And that it’s such an incredible tool, having the persistence log to really like it’s capturing that persistence. And we used to initially call it the progress log. And a lot of PGSDers like, oh, but I haven’t made any progress. So I have nothing to share my progress log.
And so we change the name to persistence log, which is such a benefit anyway. But it’s really about persisting and within that knowing that we are making progress all the time, but we often don’t feel it. And that having like I love how you think about PGSD being an anchor to really ground you and something that’s just like that safe haven and safe home to keep coming back to and I was wondering if you could speak to when you miss a week, or two or three? What brings you back like how you thinking about it. So you just show up because when we are in that all or nothing mindset, which perfectionist tend to be in that we can be like, well, I missed a week and especially like in your persistence log, you number them. So it’s like week one, week two, week three. And so it’s tempting to think why am I like a stickler for the rules of like, well, I missed a couple of weeks. And so now this would be whatever week number and oh, it’s just too hard and I’m going to show up anymore. So how are you thinking about your persistence log so that even if a couple of weeks you don’t post that you keep showing up anyway and you come back
At this point now where I am now today, I’ve developed the self trust to know that consistency is more important than any amount of weeks I might have missed. So for me, yeah, it’s a bummer, because I know I, I missed that. But you know what? No, it’s not even a bummer. Because now I just realized, like, Oh, this is life. Like, this is real life. I used to think, in my perfectionist mindset and my fixed mindset, I used to think there was a point I was going to get to life where there was no chaos. And it was everything went in order, and everything worked out, like exactly how you planned and wanted it to be.
And now I’m like, No, this life, like life is I missed this week or something happened, and I’m still doing it anyways. So I think it’s just a having, like, kind of going back to what you said about my new identity as someone who’s consistent. Like it’s, it’s that I now learn to value consistency, over valuing this false, false false false idea that at some point, it was going to, like everything there was you were going to follow the steps… I was going to follow the steps like, perfectly in order, and also the false idea that that was needed to grow, that I had to get everything exactly in order in the exact amount of time and like, do it perfectly. And if not, then I wasn’t going to grow.
So it’s like this whole new identity gives me, like makes it to where it’s not even a thing anymore. Like if I miss a couple of weeks, it’s not I almost like obviously I notice it, but I’m just like, Okay, let me count, like, what week am I on? Because I can’t look back to the next week. So let me just count where am I at. I also will say to, you know, sometimes if I’m running late, like sometimes I’ll put, you know, week 38 and a half. And for me, it just indicates like, because I also want to be accountable to myself and know, like you’re running late on this, you know, like, this was meant to be done. This was intended to be done, you know, five days ago, and, you know.
So sometimes I do like to put, you know, point five, just to indicate just for that accountability to myself, I’m never gonna really necessarily look back and be like, oh, there’s all those point fives and or nobody else is gonna be like, Oh, why is it point five or whatever, but it’s just for me, like, which is part of PGSD of just taking ownership over what you’re doing, even if you’re even when it’s things that you know, aren’t serving you or you know, aren’t, you know, things that you want to be doing anymore.
And then also, I want to speak to what it was like in the beginning, because obviously this is I’m almost a year now of doing this. It’ll be a year in like two weeks. So, you know, it’s where I am now is different than what it was in the beginning. But also like, Guys, it’s only been a year. It’s only been a year. And like, who am I? Who is this person talking right now? Like, what I’m consistent? What I follow through like, oh, what like I still call myself consistent. And someone who shows up. Even if I miss a couple of weeks like, this is mind blowing. This is not the person that I was a year ago.
So I think in the beginning, when I would miss a few weeks, because I think I just was really committed to Okay, actually, let’s remember that I joined PGSD. And for a year, I didn’t do anything. Let’s remember that. Because, and the reason I say that is because so a year went by I didn’t do anything I was planning on canceling my subscription. And something in me was like, No. And so I made that switch of like, okay, well, I’m not canceling. So I’m all in, like, I’m all in.
So let me see what the heck, like, let me do this. And so I think it was that it was that sense of of being all in, like, I knew that I signed up for a reason, I knew that I connected with you through the podcast, I knew that you were legit. And I just wasn’t doing it. Like I just wasn’t doing it. And so and also like things in my personal life really opened up for me to have the space to kind of take on and be really all in with it.
So anyways, so that’s circling it back to the persistence of that’s what got me to show up. Even if I had missed a few weeks or a month or however many weeks it was. It was the fact that I knew that I came like that I was committed to being all in with the process, even if I thought I was doing it wrong, if that makes sense. So Like, yeah, I at that point, I did feel like it was wrong. Like I wasn’t where I am today where I’m like, Oh, just whatever. It’s been a week like, oh, it’s life, like, no, that’s who I am today after a year practice, like, that’s a lot of practice.
But you know, at the beginning, it didn’t feel good. At the beginning, I did feel like was I ever gonna figure this out or grow. Or why am I not getting better in my, you know, like, why am I still learning this? Or learning whatever. So yeah, so just almost putting blinders on to the distraction of like, knowing that you’re gonna doubt it or knowing that you’re going to feel like, Oh, well, why does it matter anyways, I haven’t been here for a month, and just choosing that, you’re just gonna do it, because you were all in at some point. So like, until you prove yourself wrong. Like, the only way you can prove yourself wrong is if you get to learn consistency and show up and then you’re like, oh, this doesn’t work for me. And then you adjust it and do something differently. But if until you’ve just shown up, even if it didn’t feel good, or even if you missed a few weeks or a month, like you’re not going to know. So just I think I said this is the beginning, just do it. Just do it.
Sam Laura Brown
Yes, I love that full circle, coming back to where we were at the beginning. And just to wrap up, I just want to mention something important that you said about keeping ourselves accountable. And I think it can be this kind of question that we have in terms of, well, I want to be in the self image of being someone who’s consistent and who follows through. But I don’t want to be delusional, let myself off the hook. And I think you spoke to it so well, when you were talking about the way that you just kind of you know, give yourself a little nod with writing, you know, week 38.5, or whatever it is that you are saying accountable.
It’s not that you’re being delusional, because when we think we don’t follow through, that’s us being delusional. And as you said, like, especially in the beginning, because you had the self image of being someone who isn’t consistent, when you were being consistent, your brain was completely dismissing it. And that’s how it works. Our brain is just looking for evidence to confirm what we already believe. And so it’s really important to know that you can consider yourself someone who is consistent, someone who is a non procrastinator, someone who gets it done, even when you’re not doing it perfectly. So thank you so much for sharing that. Are there any last words, you want to say about the persistence log to anyone who might be experiencing resistance to posting their persistence log and sharing it with the other PGSDers or if there’s anything else you want to say to wrap up?
I think I would just say that, if you are connecting to the podcast, if you’re connecting to PGSD, if you’re in and you’re connecting to it, like give this to yourself, yourself wants it so bad. Like, give it to yourself. And I think, especially this because it really is so simple. Like I said, even if you just write I don’t want to be here, period. That’s it submit. Like that’s showing up. And there’s so much power that comes with building self trust. So just do it.
Sam Laura Brown
Awesome. Thank you, Jenna. And where can everyone find you on Instagram? If they want to connect with you? We’ll link up your Instagram handle in the show notes. But do you want to just share it quickly with everyone?
Yes, so you can find me @quevivavulnerability. We’ll put it in the show notes. And I would love to connect with you there. So if you find me and connect with me, let me know that you heard the podcast or whatever I would love, love, love to connect to you. Also, or connect with you. Also, I’m in PGSD, too. So if you’re in PGSD, I love to connect with you in PGSD, too, so find me.
Sam Laura Brown
Amazing. Thank you so much, Jenna. And yeah, I really appreciate everything that you have shared with us today.
Thank you so much for having me.
Sam Laura Brown
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