Episode 383: 7 Subtle Ways Fear of Judgement Shows Up In Business


Fear of judgement is one of the five signs of perfectionism, and this can show up in different ways. Today, I wanted to chat about the 7 hidden ways I see this coming up for myself and my clients in Perfectionists Getting Shit Done, so you have more awareness about fear of judgement and how this is showing up in your business.

People talk about perfectionism being fear of judgement or failure. But it’s really a strategy to avoid the painful feeling of shame we think will come if we are judged by others. When our perfectionism handbrake is on, we are masters at judging ourselves and feeling like something must be wrong with us. It’s a thought pattern our brains are used to, based on the beliefs we have about ourselves.

If you are experiencing fear of judgement in your business, know that there’s nothing wrong with you. I share more in this episode, as well as why popular advice on this isn’t helpful for perfectionists and practical things you can do instead.

Find the full episode transcript and show notes at samlaurabrown.com/episode383.

In This Episode You’ll Learn:

  • The 7 hidden ways that fear of judgement is showing up in your business
  • Solutions to the ways fear of judgement manifests in your business
  • How fear of judgement held back my business growth
  • Why I get frustrated with popular advice around fear of judgement
  • How perfectionists can cure their fear of judgement in practical ways

Featured In The Episode:

Listen To The Episode

Listen to the episode on the player above, click here to download the episode and take it with you or listen anywhere you normally listen to podcasts – just find Episode 383 of The Perfectionism Project Podcast!

Subscribe To The Perfectionism Project Podcast

In today’s episode, I share 7 hidden ways that fear of judgement is showing up in your business. Tune in to learn what they are, practical solutions to address them, and how you can cure fear of judgement long-term.



Hi, and welcome to another episode of The Perfectionism Project, a podcast full of perfectionism advice for entrepreneurs. My name is Sam Laura Brown, I help entrepreneurs release that perfectionism handbrake so they can get out of that way, and build a fulfilling and profitable business. I’m the founder of the Power Planning Course and Perfectionist Getting Shit Done, which is otherwise known as PGSD. And for even more perfectionism advice to help you with your business, you can follow me on Instagram @perfectionismproject.

Sam Laura Brown

In this episode, I’m going to be sharing with you seven subtle ways that fear of judgment shows up in business. Fear of judgment is one of the five signs of perfectionism. And this can just show up in so many different ways, I’m going to be sharing a few there were so many more examples that I could include in this episode.

But I just wanted to share some of the main ways that I see this coming up for both myself and my clients as well inside PGSD, just so you have some more awareness around, where fear of judgment is holding you back in your business and knowing that a lot of times when it comes to fear of judgment, that people talk about perfectionism, being fear of judgment, or being fear of failure. And really, perfectionism is a strategy to avoid shame. And that what we are avoiding is not the judgment itself is not the haters, or anything like that, or the failure or the success.

It’s really about avoiding the shame, that painful feeling of shame that we think will come that we will generate for ourselves, if we are rejected by others, if we are judged by others. The irony of course, as well for perfectionist is that we went up perfectionism handbrake is on, we are masters, at judging ourselves, and also with judging others as well, because it’s very unlikely if you have the habit of judging yourself, you’re not doing that to other people, as well as just that thought pattern. If you have it going on with you, you’re going to have it going on with others.

And that’s what we’re trying to avoid so much this fear of judgment is judgment from other people. And more so with that, rejection from others, abandonment, and ultimately, shame, which is feeling like we don’t belong, feeling disconnected, feeling like there’s something wrong with us. So if you are experiencing fear of judgment in your business, know that there’s nothing wrong with you.

And also I get so frustrated when it comes to advice around how to overcome fear of judgment, how to overcome people pleasing, and that kind of thing, in the sense that a lot of times what people will say, is, it doesn’t matter what people think about you. And for me, it’s like, I know that. And yet my brain still has this fear around it. So now what, and I have found and we talk about this kind of thing a lot inside PGSD, and we do this work. And power planning is a tool to help you do that work along with your growth goal and clean rest.

But really starting to develop that self trust your relationship with yourself actually starting to like yourself, maybe even love yourself, like when your relationship with yourself evolves, being judged by others matters so much less. So instead of this advice about like, just stop caring what other people think it doesn’t really matter. Or they’re just thinking things about them and projecting onto you like, Yeah, that might be true. But practically speaking, the key is developing self trust and your relationship with yourself. So that it doesn’t matter.

When you are judged that your brain doesn’t make that a threat to your survival, a life or death kind of thing that you have your own back enough that it’s not as big a deal. It’s so going to be painful at times. And often though, when we’re talking about fear of judgment and judgment from others, that judgment never actually gets voiced to us. If it’s even going on at all that were just, we have all these beliefs about ourselves due to the relationship we currently have with ourselves.

And maybe that isn’t the best relationship right now. Especially if your perfectionism handbrake is on that you will then project that out on to others and think, Well, if I’m thinking that, then they’re probably thinking that oh, they’re definitely thinking that. And the judgment that we fear so deeply, isn’t actually happening at all, or if it is happening. It’s not in the way that we anticipate it will be or from the people we anticipate it will be coming from. But most of the time, we don’t really even hear about it.

And I think that for me has been like I’ve had this belief of small is safe in terms of the business like if I can just keep it growing. Yes, but not too much, that I’m not going to get the judgment like the naysayers, the haters, the people questioning what I teach all of that kind of thing. If I can just keep it small, I’m going to be able to avoid that. And so that’s something that I really had to contend with and work on and overcome that set of beliefs so that I could create emotional safety for myself in having a bigger business and being more visible and having my ideas be voiced and things like that.

The concepts that I teach, I’m going to be talking about that a bit more In this episode, but again, just know it’s normal, if you have fear of judgment, and the cure isn’t to stop caring what other people think the cure is to care more about what you think, to place more emphasis there to develop self trust, which power planning is designed to help you do, as well as your growth goal and clean rest. So all that’s covered in the power planning course, that course is open for enrollment. So that is the key here.

And then other stuff matters much less when it comes to what other people think about you. And if they’re actually even thinking that anyway. So let’s talk about some of the ways this manifests. This is just to help you build some self awareness around this, you can use your power planning as well to notice when this might be going on. Because I’m just going to be talking through as I said, a few ways that I see this showing up for myself personally, and also showing up for our PGSDers.

So the first is overworking tasks, spending longer on a task than needed. And this can be hard to spot because we feel like it’s necessary. When we’re overworking something, we feel like we’re working at just the right amount. But when we’re tweaking, refining, perfecting all of that kind of behavior, that that is oftentimes that can be other causes for as well. But oftentimes, it is that fear of judgment, that fear of shame, which is what fear of judgment is, but that fear of like if I put out this imperfect work into the world, what are people going to think?

And ultimately, are they going to think the horrible things that I think about myself Are they going to be thinking those things about me, I found for myself, this has come up a lot when it comes to creating content and teachings and doing coaching that is paid versus things that I’ve created that a free, this kind of belief of if their pain, it has to be perfect. And doesn’t mean I haven’t had perfectionism come up around free content, there’s definitely been that for sure over the years. But just noticing my perfectionism handbrake come on a little stronger when it has been relating to paid services, and paid content and things like that.

So just notice if that’s going on for you. If when someone is paying for something from you, that you then spend more time overworking it, the key here is the word over, that we are spending longer on it than is needed. So we’re not talking about here, doing the bare minimum or not providing high quality work, or like whatever kind of business you have, like not providing the best quality products that you could be. It’s knowing that our perfectionism like we get it to that point. And our perfectionism has us continue to work on it to try and create this feeling of control and safety.

So when it comes to this in your power planning, notice when tasks are taking longer than initially you had planned for them to take and investigate that get curious about that. And also get comfortable with letting your work be done. And moving on. And power planning has really been what’s allowed me to do that. Because that temptation to tweak and refine and perfect, it’s huge. But when you’re really clear on exactly how much time you have to work in your business, and that it’s not as much as you want to have like there are more needle movers in business time.

And you have to be so clear with what’s actually important and making the most of that time and things like that, that I can’t afford to be spending time tweaking and refining and perfecting not to say that I never do it. But it’s so powerful to get comfortable with like just things being that high quality level, but then not you spending five extra hours on it that didn’t even increase the quality of it.

A lot of times when we’re tweaking and perfecting and refining it might be for example, if you’re writing an email to your email list, that maybe it takes you like an hour to write that email three hours, maybe even a whole day. And you might feel like this email is going to be so much more valuable if I spend this time doing this. But more often than not, the end result for them is going to be the same regardless of whether they read the email that you drafted, it’s 30 minutes in versus it six hours in. And that’s obviously a dramatic example. But it’s not to say we don’t have that happening, and going on.

So just notice. When you are letting things take longer than you’d plan investigate that might be another cause. But it might be that you are fearing what other people will think fearing the judgement fearing that shame. And your work is to get comfortable with just letting things be done doing the best you have in the time you have. And moving on.

And this has been such big work for me because if I’m getting things done ahead of time as I’ve developed the identity and the self image that I’m the person who gets my work done early and easily A big part of that the hardest part for me, I think, has been getting it done early. But instead of tweaking it and refining it until the last minute to just let it be done, and know that I have more time to perfect it and not letting myself perfect it. And knowing that that’s a thought error, my brain is having that more work needs to be done.

The second way that it can show up is centering yourself with holding or diluting your ideas down. So depending on what kind of business you have, this might look different, but particularly if you have a business similar to mine, where you are sharing your ideas, your teachings, your way of viewing the world. But regardless of the kind of visitors you have, this will probably be showing up that you’re not really showing up fully. And I’ve noticed myself for sure doing this.

When it comes to Instagram, for example, versus the podcast. On the podcast, I have a set of beliefs around that. I think a key one is, if they weren’t interested, they wouldn’t be listening. Or if like, I hadn’t heard like, basically, the people listening to the podcast, like me more than the people who might find me on Instagram, I don’t actually think about it that way.

But it’s some variation of that, that I’m more accepted, or more likely to be accepted by my podcast listeners than like the wealth of people that happen to stumble upon my Instagram account. And so I find myself sharing things on the podcast in a lot more of a personal, compelling, raw, vulnerable way. And that when it comes to creating content, say for example, Instagram, that I will kind of dilute that, or have less of a strong opinion on something or I won’t share some personal things that I will share on the podcast.

And that’s really just that fear of judgment and thinking like, basically what if people who don’t like me find this and then they are going to say things about me or question me or whatever it is and like not having my own back and relationship with myself enough that I feel like I could be emotionally safe in that experience. So also part of this is like overestimating how qualified you need to be in order to share certain viewpoints.

Obviously, we want to be running our businesses in a way that we’re not being reckless, we are not damaging people’s lives, all that kind of thing. I hope it should go without saying. But also, we tend to seriously overestimate how qualified we need to be in order to share a viewpoint or an experience with the world. And we think that until we have all the qualifications, all the experience, we’re like at the end of our life, then we can’t possibly share things.

And so just noticing if that’s something that’s going on for you, maybe you’re someone who is constantly like always studying more and doing more qualifications and certifications, all that kind of thing. There’s nothing wrong with that. But is it actually coming from a clean place? Or is it coming from you being scared of judgment and wanting to make sure you have all of your boxes perfectly ticked? Because our brain likes to think like if I’m just perfectly qualified enough, then no one will ever question what I do or any of that.

And if you look at the world, like the most qualified people, in all the different industries, the top people in those industries, they are having the most disagreement, like people don’t just don’t agree with their ideas. They have haters. They have naysayers, like, it’s not like you can look at the world and say, okay, the more qualified someone is, the less haters they have, like, it’s it doesn’t work that way at all. But I think in our brains, we think like, Oh, what if I just have like this perfect knowledge, and these perfect qualifications that I can point to, I can kind of hide behind them, they can be like, my, I don’t want to say safety net. So much is just this like shield against hate or against disagreement. And it’s not the case.

And so just question that, obviously, having enough experience and whatever that you can do the work you need to do, but at the same time, knowing that we tend to overestimate that and we stop ourselves from helping others or doing things we could do. Because we think I have to tick this box first, when actually you could probably start doing the thing you want to do now and continue to study as you go. So part of this as well trying to be more likeable, palatable, not getting any haters, or have anyone basically say anything that anyone might disagree with.

And this leads to overthinking writer’s block, scrapped ideas, scrapped content, or paid creations or whatever it is, that you create stuff. And then you just seriously question and you don’t even share it with the world. So work created that isn’t published. And the solution to this is creating emotional safety. So that being liked by others becomes less important. So I talked about that at the top of this episode. Power planning is a tool to do that, because it helps you, it allows you to build that self trust in that relationship with yourself.

And then in PGSD, we go into this more, but know that it’s about having your own back and liking yourself. And it just becomes so much less important what others think or like our perception of what others think becomes less important. Undercharging, I’m going to spare you and not gonna spiel about pricing. I get very passionate about it. But undercharging is a way that fear of judgment can really show up obviously, like, there’s ways that overcharging or whatever all these different things can be fear of judgment. But I want to talk specifically about undercharging.

I’ve seen this in myself over the years at different times. And with PGSDers as well, that this might look like for example, offering discounted services, especially when this is done preemptively. They haven’t even asked for a discount, they probably haven’t even raised the money objection, but you look at them in their circumstances. And, or maybe it’s just someone you know, personally, and you’re like, oh, I shouldn’t, like charge my full price. Or I want them to like me, I want them to do business with me.

So I’m gonna offer a discounted rate. Just notice that, just notice the way that you’re sabotaging yourself with that it can feel like a very wholesome, inclusive thing to do. And when we can recognize that, actually, the intention with it more often than not that we have is to avoid our own uncomfortable feelings. And also, this comes from the self image and identity we have and our belief in our work and what we create, and also ourselves as creators, and all those different things that we might undercharge.

But just notice if that’s going on, and get curious about it. You might be making sure you charge less than industry leaders kind of looking around at what the top people in your industry are doing, or charging, whether it’s for a product or a service, whatever it may be. And then you’re like, Okay, well, I’m not as good as me, as experienced as them as qualified as them. So I need to charge less. And then you might kind of compare how experienced you are versus how experienced they are.

And then like factor down or kind of, you know, I’m 50% as experienced as them. So I’ll charge 50% of the price. There might be things like that going on not talking about your prices publicly, especially when friends and family might see. And so with this solution is really challenging your assumptions around your pricing. And also I just want to say because I hear this a lot and I’ve had to look at this myself now quite a lot of years ago that I really used to think this way.

But if you find yourself saying people won’t XYZ or people don’t did it, like if you just talk about people, generally, people won’t pay that amount for this kind of thing. Just know that is your brain intentionally being vague about things because there’s some other kinds of fear going on. And so we say like people as if, like everyone in the world is exactly the same Is this kind of all or nothing thinking of as if everyone wouldn’t pay a certain amount for something, then no one would, when the reality is for everything that people who would pay that and people who wouldn’t?

For all kinds of businesses, I don’t think there are really many exceptions to that at all. So if you’re finding something like people won’t pay that amount, or people don’t want to work on that kind of thing at this time of year, or buy that kind of thing at this time of year, whatever that looks like, and it’s just this general people, there’s something going on there. And most likely that that excuse objection, whatever you want to call it is just disguising something else.

Number four is that fear of judgment might be manifesting in your business as completing certain tasks or projects, because that’s how it’s done in the industry. So for example, you might be following the same marketing strategy as everyone else in your industry. So for example, if you have a product based business, you might be sharing the same kinds of imagery on your social media accounts, or doing the same kind of TikTok, or whatever it is, as you see everyone else doing.

Maybe as well you’re sending regardless the kind of business you have, you are when it comes to email marketing, you’re sending the same amount of emails that other people might send, so maybe you have a certain email sequence, or whatever, and you send the same amount of emails, maybe you’ve signed up for other people’s email lists to see how many they send and what time of day they send to, or you’re looking at how many posts someone posts per week and doing the same, or like their calls to action, they have all their products, they have all their services, you’re kind of just looking at what others are doing.

And seeing that as the right way. Or maybe you’re looking at what a coach or a mentor is doing. And thinking like, that’s the right way. And I’m wrong if I do it a different way. And also, I’m going to be judged if I do it a different way. And so be on to that, about yourself, if that is going on. And the solution to that is to use power planning to I mean, there’s so many ways you can use power planning to help with all of this work, but using power planning to see how much time is being spent looking at what others are doing. And this might not explicitly be physically going to look. But if you are spending a lot of time even doing a lot of courses, and like getting told like here the how to steps, there’s still definitely value in doing that.

But just noticing how much of your time is being is going towards being told how to do things in the right way or like looking at you constantly looking at what others in your industry are doing. And for sure, you can get inspiration from that have ideas created from that. But if you’re doing it as a like, everyone else is doing it right. And I can’t trust myself to do it right. So I need to do it the same ways for anything to work, if it’s from that mentality. We want to use your power planning to help you pay attention to where that’s going on.

And to also notice where you’re experiencing resistance. So you can investigate this and what the cause is, it might be this, like the fear of judgment side of things might be something else. But if you’re experiencing resistance, so you find yourself pushing off a task as a result of that resistance, or a task takes you much longer than you plan to kind of jump into a task and out of it and then into it again and out of it. Just be aware of that and investigate it. Letting everyone work with you.

Sorry, this is one way that it comes up. Like we want everyone to come along for the ride. We don’t want to exclude anybody. And this is something that came up for me when I niched down to helping entrepreneurs with perfectionism, from being someone who used to help all kinds of people as in people who are entrepreneurs, people who are employees, people who had perfectionism going on in their health and fitness, in relationships, like it was just this more general perfectionism coaching that I was doing.

And when I niched down to helping entrepreneurs specifically, I received a decent amount of pushback from people who weren’t entrepreneurs saying, but the work you’re doing is so helpful for me. And so you should keep helping people like me, and you’re excluding me by now just talking about business, even though like fundamentally, I was always really talking about perfectionism and business. And for sure, like a lot of our PGSDers, like, if your brain is being perfectionistic, about business, most likely, that’s probably going on to some degree and your health and fitness, in your relationships in all these different things.

So it’s not to say that just because I’m helping perfectionist who are running businesses, that we’re not talking about other areas, but I really niche down specifically to helping business owners and focusing on like, releasing your perfectionism as it relates to business because then you will experience the benefits of that in the other areas of your life, even if you’re not directly working on it because you will be, for example, changing out of the all or nothing mindset into a more growth minded way of thinking.

So that’s going to naturally have you showing up a different way in your health and fitness and being less in this mentality of like, having the perfect track record and falling off the wagon, you’re going to be able to be much more consistent just because of the work you’ve done. On your mindset with the tool of power planning and your growth goal and clean rest with that. And also having your business be the practical way that you, you apply that and work through that.

So yeah, people were like, I got some angry emails about it. And some angry clients who didn’t like that I was going in that direction. And really, I had to be willing to let people be angry at me, to let people misunderstand me, to have my own back enough to know that even though maybe at some point in the future, I would change to helping perfectionist generally that this was the next step for me in my business and my evolution, and the way that I could best help people.

And some people were going to be mad about it, some people were going to hate me and talk badly about me. And that was okay. And to just know, as well, when we have this mindset of, I think most of us do, like, oh, like if especially if you have maybe a service like oh, this could help anyone or even, like anyone could, you know, have this piece of art or whatever it is that we have this idea of I don’t want to exclude anybody.

And that could be coming from the best place probably also from a place of like, I don’t want to exclude anyone, because I don’t want to be judged. And I want everyone to like me, but there might also there probably is also some really pure and good intentions behind that as well as it relates to inclusivity and the other people, but to just be reminded that by trying to appeal to everybody, you’re actually excluding those who want a specific solution.

So there’s no reality where you’re not excluding people. And I think a way that this perhaps is best illustrated, there are many different analogies that come to mind. But one, for example might be to think about a gym. And to think about, you know, a gym could say like, oh, we can have like all these different kinds of classes and equipment and like all of this stuff, so that absolutely anybody could come to our gym.

But there is a person who wants just to go to yoga class, and they don’t want to do weights. They don’t want to do anything else. And even if you offer a yoga class, they want to go to a yoga studio and be like, in that identity of being someone who goes to a yoga studio, they just want to do yoga classes, or whatever it is. This is just an example but they just want to do yoga. They have that specific solution they’re looking for.

And by you saying, Oh, a gym and everyone can come here and it’s going to be a great fit for everyone, these people who want the specific solution are going to be excluded, they’re going to go elsewhere to someone who offers them their specific solution. The same with if you think about when it comes to your health, whether you’re going to your doctor, who, like your general practitioner is what we call it here, like your GP, basically, the doctor you go to as a first line of getting medical help with something that they then obviously there are people like cardiologists and specialists who specialize in certain areas.

And so if you were to say, well, you know, I’m a generalist, and that means I can see everyone and provide the best help to everyone, but there are people who specifically want help with a certain part of their body, or a certain medical problem that’s going on. And by saying, everyone can work with me, actually, the people who want this specific solution are going to be deterred, and they’re going to go somewhere else.

So just to remind you, that there’s by trying to help everyone, so for example, by me saying, I do perfectionism coaching with everyone, then people who specifically want to work on perfectionism, as it relates to their business will go elsewhere. And so, that was a revelation for me to really recognize, like, there’s no reality where I can include everybody.

And it’s really just about elevating your self image. So you’re okay with people being angry at you, and placing more importance on the results you deliver more than people liking you. And that you still like, that’s not going to have you produce lower quality work. If you like what I if I don’t care, people like me that I’m not going to actually do my best work, you will do so much better work, if you don’t make it a test of whether or not you’re good enough as a person valuable enough, worthy enough, etc.

Okay, wrapping up with the last two. So creating for your original followers, clients and customers, this is one way that fear of judgment can show up that you’re not wanting to leave anyone behind. So just kind of talked about this. But also now I’m talking about it specifically as it relates to wanting to please your OGS those people who have been with you since day one, and not wanting to disappoint those who are most loyal.

And one way this can really show up is not saying things or sharing stories, or repurposing content or things like that, because they’ve already seen it like you’re kind of working this assumption of everyone who interacts with your business has already seen everything I’ve ever created, said or done. And so everything must be new, fresh and original, which then creates a lot of pressure. It also has us basically doing things a long way around, not taking advantage of the work we’ve created in the past.

And also, were then missing out on saying so many helpful things that we could be saying, because we think, Oh, I’ve already said that, like even it was two years ago. I’ve already said that. So I can’t talk about it again. So what I like to do, because I really noticed this going on a few years ago is that I just felt this sense of loyalty of like, they’ve been with me so long. And I want to make sure they’re really having the best experience of anyone with my business. I wasn’t even thinking that consciously. But it was definitely going on for me. And so what I love to do now is I think about the new person who’s just found me.

And I’m also noticing, like when for say, for example, when I created the power planning course, and just making decisions around PGSD and evolving, how we coach and the different tools that we have in there and things like that, instead of thinking about like, what will our original people think about this? I’m thinking about, hey, the new person that we haven’t even met yet? What decisions do we want to make for them?

Because I find that when I’m thinking about the OGS that i There are so many key things about perfectionism, for example, that I won’t say because I’m like what I’ve already said that 1000 times, but the new person who’s just found me, they haven’t heard that before. And that’s going to be so revolutionary to them, even if it doesn’t feel revolutionary to me, and even if someone else has heard it before. So I like to just think about the new person who’s just found me or who’s just about to find me, what do I want to create for them.

The final one I want to talk about is not taking time off. This is a way that fear of judgment can show up in your business, that you don’t want others to think you’re not deserving, you’re not working hard enough. So for example, you might be working the same hours. If you have a partner, husband, wife, or girlfriend or boyfriend, whatever that looks like for you that you might find yourself working the same hours as them at a minimum even though you don’t necessarily need to or maybe you’re not being productive all of that time.

But you don’t want to be slacking off. You don’t want to be the one who’s working less hard like you want to be pulling your weight etc. So you just set work hours based on what they’re doing. Or this is something that I particularly was doing, was wanting to work corporate hours at a minimum. And not even necessarily that, but I wanted to not finish earlier than I would have, if I was working a corporate job, which is really interesting. Like, I didn’t have as much resistance, if I started my day at 11am, and finished at 6pm.

Like that was fine, because I was kind of finishing late ish. I mean, it’s not like in the scheme of things at all. But I was finishing like, around the same time in the corporate world that I had come from, versus if I started earlier. And I finished that 230, or three or 330, that brought up for me so much about like, like, I’m not working hard enough. There’s all this time in the afternoon, I’m not even using that time after I finished work wisely. So I should be working because I could be moving things further along.

And like, just all of that going on. And even though I was working the same number of hours as if I started later, and work later that I just had this like fear of judgment. Basically, I was judging myself for not working as long hours or the same hours that I thought I should be for me to be able to tick the box of I’m a deserving, hardworking person.

Also, another sign of this is if you’re not taking clean rest during the middle of the day, that’s not even an option for you, then that might be something that’s going on. And basically just overworking in general. But specifically with this, I went about not taking time off, and kind of just matching either your partner’s hours, or the corporate world hours, or maybe it’s both. But the solution to this is scheduling and clean rest. So this is part of power planning.

You do it during your power hour, you’re scheduling your clean rest and do yourself coaching on what comes up, versus what we like to do, which is work so that our uncomfortable thoughts and feelings don’t come up. And they’re just kept at bay by the work itself. By us being busy and avoiding ourselves to instead actually work the hours that you want to work like experiment with that you’ll figure it out over time. But experiment with the hours you actually want to work the hours you think you really actually do work best.

And then let the shit come up, let the thoughts and feelings come up and do the work on that directly. Again, rather than using work itself as a tool to avoid yourself. So you don’t have to feel those feelings or look at those thoughts. I’m so grateful that I did that work. And then I’m able to, for example, at the moment, working three days per week will actually depends when you’re actually listening to this because I might be at my baby bubble with the twins.

But that even goes further to my point that I’m able to work three days a week, and then hire someone who’s working five days a week and not have any kind of feeling about like, I should be working harder or like anything like that if like, I’m doing my best work in those three days a week, I’m not perfect. Like, I’m definitely not perfect with that. But I figured out what’s working for me, and what works for me, and I don’t have any feelings like I need to work extra days just to have it appear a certain way to others or things like that, that what I’m wanting to lead by example with is working in the way that works best for you. And so that’s what I’m doing.

And I don’t have any feelings about that. I didn’t have any issues with hiring someone who works five days a week when I work three days a week. And this idea that I have to work the most hours in the business and be working harder than everyone else, or no one else will want to work hard or whatever. I’m so glad I did this work really for me in 2021. But I did this work on feeling like I had to work the same hours or more hours and everyone else. And I dealt with those thoughts and feelings directly.

And now I’m in a place where I can just do what works for me and not feel like I have to finish at the same time as the corporate world. Or that I have to work the same number of hours that Steve works or different things or my friends work or whatever, that I can get paid really well the business can make a lot of money and I can work three days a week and I can have employees who work more than me. And all that’s fine. Like it doesn’t create any kind of emotional experience for me.

So I’m gonna wrap up here, I hope it’s been helpful to hear about different ways that fear of judgment might be showing up in your business. Again, know that this is normal. It’s common, it is not something to be alarmed about. We’d be like, I gotta have all this work to do.

I hope that with this, it just shows you that this might be something that’s going on for you your perfectionism handbrake might be on, which is if you can relate to this then that is something that’s going on for you and with the power planning course and PGSD, you’re able to do that work to release your perfectionism and show up fully. And as I said, like the solution, ultimately, and this is what power planning and all the work we do on perfectionism is going to help you do is build that relationship with yourself.

So you have such a solid relationship, that it doesn’t matter if other people dislike you. If other people say bad things about you, or whatever you’re human, you’re going to have that desire always, to be connected to others. And it does to our brains feel like life or death if we might be rejected from the tribe. But the more you have your own back, and the stronger your relationship is with yourself and your self trust is higher, that matters less and less, and it might still be going on but it’s far less compelling.

And you’ll be able to make decisions much more clearly, you’ll be able to show up for your business in the way you truly want to. So yeah, you can also find out more by the way about the power planning course it is open for enrollment so you can go to the show notes to find the link for that but it’s samlaurabrown.com/powerplanning. I hope you’re having a beautiful day and I will talk to you in the next episode.


If you want to make sure that the hard work you’re putting into your business isn’t a waste of effort, then I invite you to check out the power planning course. It’ll teach you how to plan properly as a perfectionist with power planning so that you can get out of your own way in your business. And so that every hour you put into your business gets doubles the return. You can find out more and sign up today at samlaurabrown.com/powerplanning.

Author: Sam Brown