Self-image is something we talk about a lot in my Perfectionists Getting Shit Done Group Coaching Program. The reason for that is the story we tell about ourselves impacts our beliefs, feelings, actions and ultimately, the results we create in our business. These all flow from how we see ourselves, whether we’re conscious of it or not.
This is particularly true for perfectionists. When we try to make changes while skipping the self-image work, perfectionists often won’t sustain these changes long-term. Eventually we’ll go back to the habits and actions we had before.
That’s why in this episode, I’m sharing the 10 ways I had to work on my own self-image to become the person who has the business I have today. Changing these 10 different areas made such a difference in my business journey, and listening in could help you uncover the self-image work you need to do to grow your business.
If you find you’re having lots of breakthroughs in your business and they’re challenging to sustain, this episode was made for you. Tune in today.
Find the full episode transcript and show notes at samlaurabrown.com/episode384
In This Episode You’ll Learn:
- How self-image is a fundamental part for perfectionists growing their business
- What self-image is and how to uncover it for yourself
- 10 ways I had to change my self-image so I could uplevel my business
- Why feeling delusional can be a normal part of changing your self-image
- How Power Planning helps you work on your self-image
Featured In The Episode:
- Sign up for The Power Planning Course – samlaurabrown.com/powerplanning
- Join the waitlist for Perfectionists Getting Shit Done (PGSD) – samlaurabrown.com/pgsd
- Sign up for daily Perfectionist Power-Ups – samlaurabrown.com/power
- Follow me on Instagram @perfectionismproject
Listen To The Episode
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FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
Hi, and welcome to another episode of The Perfectionism Project, a podcast full of perfectionism advice for entrepreneurs. My name is Sam Laura Brown, I help entrepreneurs release that perfectionism handbrake so they can get out of that way, and build a fulfilling and profitable business. I’m the founder of the Power Planning Course and Perfectionist Getting Shit Done, which is otherwise known as PGSD. And for even more perfectionism advice to help you with your business, you can follow me on Instagram @perfectionismproject.
Sam Laura Brown
In this episode, I’m going to be sharing with you 10 ways that my self image had to uplevel, evolve, change in order for my business to grow. So self image is something that we talk about a lot inside perfectionist getting shit done. And the reason for that is because your self image, your identity, the story you tell to yourself about yourself, that is the foundation for any beliefs that you have for the feelings you have for the actions you take for the results you create, that all flows from, the way that you think about and see yourself and your relationship with yourself, essentially.
And so if we ignore our self image, and we’re just trying to make changes without doing that work, what we’re going to find is that we are self sabotaging the changes that we’re making aren’t long lasting, they require a lot of willpower, a lot of discipline, a lot of motivation. And ultimately, we’re going to not be able to sustain them.
And we’re going to go back to being who we were before and having the results that we had before. So if you are finding that you might be having breakthroughs in your business, whether it comes to productivity, whether it comes to your revenue, and those are really challenging to sustain, that there’s going to be some self image work that needs to be done. And particularly for perfectionist, there are some different beliefs that come up as it relates to self image that we need to be doing work on.
And so I just want to share with you 10 ways that I really had to change my self image or 10 different areas that I really had to change my beliefs around in order to become the person who could build the business I have today and continue to have that business grow. And there are so many more that I could have shared in this episode. But I just was reflecting on my business journey. And just some of the key foundational beliefs as it related to my identity and my self image, my self concept away so myself that I had to change for anything else to really be possible.
And to know as well that when you were doing this work, it’s not about doing it perfectly. It’s not this all or nothing thing. But needing or requiring yourself to change the way you see yourself is foundational and fundamental. When it comes to changing the results that you have in your life, you can’t skip this step. And as I said, that’s why we talk about it a lot and coaching and a lot inside perfectionist getting shit done.
And your power planning is really going to be your tool that helps you see where your self image needs to be up, leveled, so that you can do that work. So I teach that in the power planning course, which is open for enrollment. And then inside PGSD, we do that next level, that next layer of work so that we can really build the businesses we want to do to build to get out of our own way to show up fully all those things. So it’s not just that power planning is a time management tool, it’s really a tool for releasing your perfectionism. And part of that is upgrading your self image.
So as I said, the self image we have the identity we have is a story we tell about ourselves to ourselves, we also tell that story to others. It’s how we end the sentence, I always I never I am I’m not, I’m the kind of person who I’m not the kind of person who those statements make up our self image. And most of the time, it will feel like we’re just reporting the news, I’m not good at cooking, I am not good at running. A lot of them are like the perfectionist that I’m not good at. And they can be things like I’m smart, I’m intelligent, or I don’t like I’m not a professional or whatever, I’m not qualified, like those different things make up our self image.
And so we want to be looking at that. And here are some of the ones here 10 of the ones that I have had to really do some work on. So my business could grow. And so I could get out of sabotaging the growth of the business as well because as I said, it’s possible to make changes in your results without changing your self image. But those results are not going to be sustainable long term. And they’re going to require a lot of willpower, discipline and motivation. So changing your self image.
So I talked about this, for example, as it relates to power planning, changing your self image. So instead of being someone who does their best work at the last minute, you are creating the self image of being someone who gets their work done early and easily and you do your best work ahead of time, different things like that. So there’s so many ways it shows up but here are some of the ones that really came up for me. The first one one of the pivotal ones I had to work on was that I’m an entrepreneur.
And that’s true even before my business was making 10k a month 100k per year a million pay you like all those milestones a lot of us have in our head an idea about when we will become legitimate and actually have a real business. And for me, that was really based on seeing people like Mark Zuckerberg, Elon Musk, and like thinking about entrepreneurship, as well as like you’re an entrepreneur, if you’re someone who say, for example, like the Richard Branson type that you didn’t, like, you didn’t want to work for other people that you really just wanted to do all these daring things.
And you didn’t fit the mold of like doing well in school, or have kind of that corporate world. And so because I was someone who, again, as I’m saying that, like, I’m someone who that’s a self image thing, I don’t mind working for other people, I actually quite liked working for other people, I didn’t hate the nine to five life, I had a lot of good times, working in jobs for other people, like I was never one of those people who was like, I just want to work for myself, like I really didn’t start my business.
From this place of I want to work for myself, I don’t like working for other people. And so I had in my head, this idea that entrepreneurship, if you’re an entrepreneur, you’re someone who hates working for other people, because that’s the story we often hear, and allowing myself to see myself as an entrepreneur with a real business, not this, like baby business, or this hobby, business, or whatever. But really see myself as an entrepreneur, I’ve talked about this on the podcast as well.
But because I didn’t believe I had a real business, I also have this belief that I couldn’t work at a co working space for entrepreneurs, because I wasn’t an entrepreneur, and I go there and find out like what you think that’s a business isn’t a business anyway, so I wouldn’t even like I wanted to go work from a co working space. But I didn’t let myself because I thought I’m not one of those kinds of people. And when I actually let myself start seeing myself as an entrepreneur, I was able to start acting like it and like setting up the backend of the business accordingly, and all these different things.
So I was able to actually only really start fulfilling on that once I saw myself as that and this is a thing with self image that you have to be willing to feel a bit delusional, because of the way our brains work, and confirmation bias and our reticular activating system and all of that that are like, we will just interpret the world in a way that supports the beliefs that we already have.
So you need to know that when you are changing your self image that you might feel like you’re kind of kidding yourself or delusional. But most of the time, 99.9% of the time, we’re delusional to think that when not an entrepreneur, or that, you know, all these other things we’re going to talk about, like we’re delusional to think the opposite of it.
But it feels safer and more comfortable and familiar to think that because it just feels like say, if you like someone that I’m always late, maybe your self image that it feels maybe delusional to go from, I’m always late, or like one that I’ve worked on personally was I’m not good at looking after plants, particularly indoor plants, that I felt a bit delusional, telling myself like, I’m someone who actually takes really great care of my plants, or for the running late example, like, I’m someone who’s always on time, whatever that’s going to be, you might feel like No, but that’s not true.
But if you look at it, like for me, for example, with the plants, there were times where I had taken really great care of a plant. Or if you’re someone who currently has a self image, you’re always late. There are times when you’re on time, your brain is just ignoring that. So it can be consistent in its belief about who you are.
So just know that that may come up, you might feel a bit delusional, that’s okay to know that your brain is not delusional. It’s just your brain, adopting a new belief system, and taking a minute to warm up to that. So I’m a life coach, that is an identity or self image that I think I didn’t really start stepping into, I want to say until 2021. This is after like, I’m already a couple of years full time in my life coaching business, that when people would ask like what I did, I would say I’m a business owner, different things like that.
But I wouldn’t say I’m a life coach. And it was only really in mainly in 2022, that I fully started to do it. But I think in 2021 I began when people would ask me like random people, like if I was at the dentist or whatever, they’d say, you know, what do you do for work? I would say I’m a life coach, without an explanation without I just be like, I’m a life coach. And letting that just be a thing. Because I had this belief of like, well, I’m not certified.
So what are people ask about that? And then also, if other people don’t know what that means, like, are they going to ask questions, or they’re going to think I’m some kind of weird or whatever, to just be like, No, I’m actually a life coach, which I am. And I’m just going to say that instead of saying like, I’m a business owner, or whatever, and that has really helped me to be a better life coach by actually living in accordance with like, if someone’s a life coach then when being asked about themselves, they are likely to tell someone they are life coach so that’s what I’m going to do. So that shift I’m trying to think what I even thought of myself before that. I think it was like I’m someone who coaches people but not, I’m a life coach.
So another one is I’m world class at what I do so at coaching, and allowing myself to be in that self image, this comes to like letting your brain be in discomfort about it and feel a little bit delusional. But believing that even though I’m still learning, I’m not perfect at it. Even though it feels easy to me, this is a big one, I think, particularly as it relates to coaching. And that belief, I was saying before, about, I’m a life coach, that I didn’t fully step into that because I felt like, it’s it, it feels like it comes easily to me.
So then it’s not valuable, because it’s only valuable if I’m working hard. And I’m doing things that are hard for me and like money is compensation for doing things you don’t like doing like I’ve had those kinds of beliefs, I’ve really had to unravel over the years and really allow myself to do work I find easy and get paid really well for it.
So just believing I’m world class at what I do, and that, like, from that belief, the programs that I create the content that I create that that is so helpful, and so beneficial, and that that is making a difference in people’s lives. And it’s just so interesting that I think for a lot of us that we can have so much direct evidence that the work we’re doing is beneficial for other people and is like dramatically life changing, not even just beneficial, but has literally changed their life for the better. And our brain will focus on the person who requested a refund, or didn’t agree with something that we said or like that kind of thing.
And so will diminish and downplay how powerful we are and how much value we create. Because we’re scared of someone saying, Actually, you’re not as good as you think you are. It’s recognizing, like, I’m world class at it, and I’m constantly improving at it. And the beautiful thing about all of this is so if I believe for example, that I’m world class at it, that has me that identity has made doing things consistent with that.
So coaching at a higher level, furthering my education as a coach, furthering my own self coaching, practice all of those things. But if I believe I’m not world class at it, is kind of interesting, because you’d think that if you had the belief, you weren’t good at it, that would make you do things to develop yourself. But actually, when you do have the belief that I’m world class at it, and I’m still learning, it’s not this, like I’m world class at it. Therefore, like, I don’t need to do anything, I don’t need to learn anything else, like I’m done with that. But I’m world class at what I do. And I’m a continuous and I like having that self image as well.
That that is something that has you doing more of that the same with, as I said, believing that I’m an entrepreneur, when I really started to step into that I actually did more things that were in alignment with me being an entrepreneur, making it easier for me to be in that self image of an entrepreneur, rather than feeling like I don’t have a real business and then trying to force myself to do things that a real business owner would do. The same with being a life coach, as well. So I want to just as a side note, it’s not in my notes, but to talk about the self image around being a learner, because I haven’t got it in my list.
But this is something that I really had to work on that I love learning, reading, listening to podcasts, studying all the things, and that initially, I really viewed learning, like I love learning as, like, as I said, those activities of learning and like kind of consuming information more so. And I had to change my identity to I love learning by doing. I love learning by basically like understanding the bare minimum that’s needed, knowing that I will learn more and more along the way. And I’ll know exactly what I need to learn as I take action. But I love learning by taking action, versus I’m the person who loves learning by consuming.
So that’s another thing to just notice, if you have the self image that you love learning, is it focused on consuming and having perfect theoretical knowledge? Or is it focused on like getting the bare minimum knowledge needed. And then obviously, not in some kind of reckless way that you’re then taking action, but we often need so much less information than we think we do to get started with something. So getting started and learning through doing and iteration and reflection and all of that to mobilise.
I want to talk about these together the way my self image had to uplevel was believing. First of all, I make money. I’m someone who makes money. And second of all, I’m someone who makes money consistently. So I won’t go too much into those in this episode. But it’s really important to create a self image around being someone who makes money. If you have a business like making money is the oxygen for the business.
So having a self image that supports that if you have the self image that you as long as you doesn’t know how to make money or you don’t make money consistently or like it comes out of nowhere. You don’t really know how to control it, or things like that, then it’s going to be really stressful being in business. And also, if you just want to have a look at, you know, if you’re trying to figure out like, where are my beliefs that with this, you can have a look at.
If you have financial statements or anything like any way of keeping track, if you don’t have a way of keeping track of how much money you’re making, a 100%, you do not have the self image, that you make money and you make money consistently, because basically, you’re not even prepared to be making money consistently. But anyway, all that aside, if you have a look at how much money you’re making, that will tell you what your self image is. So if you are having a big month, and then a much smaller month and a big month, and you don’t have this self image that you make money consistently, so you don’t need to necessarily have that self image about the consistency piece.
But you do need to at least have the self image that you make money. So you can actually look at your financial reality, to determine where your self image and identity is at the same way that say, for example, when it comes to looking after indoor plants, to share that example that you can look at your indoor plants, if you have any, maybe you don’t have any, because you believe you can’t look after them.
But if you have a look at your indoor plants, you can see like, are they all dead? Or are they thriving, and that will be a reflection of your self image. And so for me when my self image was I couldn’t look after them, they were all dying, because I wouldn’t water them until they like literally started looking completely dead.
And even then I’d probably wait a month. And I just was putting them in the wrong location. So they weren’t getting the right light, and all of that kind of thing. And now all of the indoor plants that I have a thriving, there still might be one that dies, but because my self image is that I look after my indoor plants well that like that’s an exception. So my brain has the confirmation bias in it a really helpful way that I then I take care of my plants every week, I water them, I fertilize and I put them in the right place and all of that.
So when it comes to making money, like you can look at your financial reality to help you see what your self image is that the same way you can look at so many different aspects of your business to see where your self image is at. So for example, if it’s like looking at your self image, as a leader, and someone who can manage and build a team, you can have a look at your team, like what’s that situation like? Do you even have a team? And so it’s really going to be reflected in your reality.
And that’s why it can feel like reporting the news or the weather when we say our self image, like when we’re saying those identity statements, because we feel like we’re just observing reality like I’m just not good at cooking, like I’m not a choice, I’m just not good at it like, it’s that kind of fixed mindset way of thinking about it as well as it might not be that you do want to be good at cooking.
But notice, seeing that you can actually develop the skill set of cooking if you wanted to. And that if you did want to do that it’s very helpful to stop. I’m not good at cooking, but it’s much more helpful. And this is a personal example again, because I’ve been like I’m good at baking. Even I didn’t used to always be like develop the self image there.
I’m just not great at cooking, I don’t really care to be and then lately, I’ve been like actually, I would really like to be good at cooking, or at least have a more developed skill set around it. And so I’ve done the work mentally just telling myself and we talk again, we talk about how to do this inside PGSD. But telling myself the story of I’m learning how to cook. So for me, it doesn’t feel like it feels too delusional, say I’m good at cooking. But I’m learning how to cook.
And there are quite a few dishes, I know how to cook well, like that kind of stuff really helps me develop the self image that I am good at cooking, whatever you want to say. And that actually has me trying different recipes and pay more attention when I’m cooking and things like that. So to keep on going. Another one is the belief, the self image that it’s valuable for other people to spend time with me. And particularly this relates to friendships and relationships with entrepreneurs who are making more money than myself.
That before I’d really seen it as like, unless I’m making the same or more money than someone else. That then having like a conversation with me, say as a friend, for example, or if I’m meeting someone at an event or whatever, unless I’m making more money than them, it’s not going to be beneficial. I’ve really changed my self image. So to the point that I believe that I can add value in any conversation like that, that I’m in even if someone is making, like so much more money than me in my business.
And that has allowed me to put myself in rooms and create friendships and maintain friendships that otherwise I would have thought like, Okay, well, they’re just, you know, talking to me or showing up or whatever, out of obligation or the sake of it or because I can actually add value to them. And so they’re just doing it because they think they should and they’re a nice person or whatever, but they don’t actually want to be in this interaction with me changing that to really seeing that. Actually, it is insanely valuable to me to them.
Also to myself, like I already believe that it’s valuable for me to interact with them. But having that belief about it’s valuable for them to has really helped me to put myself forward for things to create and maintain relationships, and to not kind of just like count myself out, or not feel like I don’t belong or things like that I don’t really feel like I have like struggles with feeling like I belong in rooms with entrepreneurs who are making a lot more money than myself and even in the mastermind that I was in last year, that I believe that I can coach anyone even if they’re making a lot more money than myself.
And again, this belief of like, I can provide value regardless. So it meant that I was able to peer coach people who are making a lot more money than myself. And it still be like groundbreaking for them and them having lots of breakthroughs and me not thinking like I don’t know as much as them because they’re making more money or anything like that.
That’s a really good one to be looking out for another one a players want to work for my business. I’ve talked about about this on the podcast recently. But really going through this transition in terms of my identity instead of, I’m not this real business owner. And when it comes to finding a team and building a team, I’m just going to lucky whoever I can find, because this isn’t a real thing.
Like, that was kind of how I thought about it beginning like, I can’t even justify hiring anyone, and no one’s gonna want to work for me anyway, like that mindset to really be in a place of like people who are high performers who who get jobs at a very well established institutions, who might even pay more, or whatever that looks like that they want to work for my business and that they’re going to thrive in my business and I can, I have the skill set to lead and manage and empower them.
So that was a big shift. Also, huge one, I like spending time away from my business, obviously talked about this on the podcast. Over the years, as I have gone through this journey, since really starting to record the podcast in 2017. Initially, I was in the place of like, I love my business, I just want to work on all the time, because I love it, it’s okay that I work all the time, to really now being in a place of I love my business.
And I love showing up as best as possible for my business. And for that to happen, I need to spend time away from the business and like absence makes the heart grow fonder, so to speak, my brain needs a time to rest and recover. And also I love my personal life. And now as a mom, like I love being a mother and doing those kinds of things, and like, I have an identity now beyond the business instead of just seeing my business, as myself and myself as my business and wanting to spend all my time there.
So I had to change my self image in order to support me consistently getting the clean rest that I need to show up fully for the business, the guilt free rest. And so if you are, say, in the power planning course, for example, I do talk about clean rice, it is part of power planning, that if you are finding yourself struggling with taking clean rest, or like giving yourself permission to take time off during the day, like whatever that looks like for you to just notice where your self images is at.
And as I mentioned, how you can look at your circumstances to see where your self image is, if you look at how much clean rest you’re getting, that will tell you where your self image currently is as it relates to clean rest. And it’s okay, if it needs some development. As I mentioned, mine definitely did. And it’s something I’m still working on. But really now I can truly say that I like spending time away from my business, I like having time off my business. And I still love my business, I still like have the desire to work a lot.
And also I have other things that I like doing as well. And so I think developing that self image is one of the most powerful ones like I actually like spending time away from my business that might even feel too strong, but like, I’m willing to spend time away from whatever, like try on different things. It might be as well, as I said, with self image that instead of trying to jump all the way to the self image you want to have that you kind of just ease yourself into it with having a few different ones along the way.
And so it might be that even your self image is like I’m someone who’s considering the possibility that I like spending time away from my business. Or, yeah, I’m just trying to think out of my head, I can’t really think of other ways to word it. But hopefully you understand what I mean. The next one, number nine is the self image that I work productively from home.
So actually, in Episode 160, when I was really going through this self image shift, I went through that, in that episode to share with you about my beliefs about working productively from home. But as a university student, and when I was earlier in my business, I really felt like I can’t work productively from home, which feels so crazy now, because I work so productively from home and I don’t have any mental drama about it or any story anymore that I can’t be productive from home for like long periods of time.
And for like weeks and weeks and months and months at a time. But I used to like as a university student, if I needed to get shit down, I go into the library, it was like basically an hour trip to get there like to drive there and park and walk up to the librarian all the things but I would go into the library because I just had this self image that I’m someone who does my best work out of home essentially, which made it very inconvenient a lot of times because I had this condition for productivity, which was I had to not be in the house.
And that took a lot of time to get out of the house. And then I really started to just recognize actually maybe I could just change the way I think about myself so I see myself as someone who’s productive from home and then because I’ve changed my identity around it, I will actually be productive at home, thus creating more evidence for my new identity and making it stronger and stronger and stronger.
So now, even though I still like going to a co working space, or going to a cafe or things like that, I do that much less now that I don’t have that self image of I have to be out of the house, I can still enjoy those things. And I still find benefit in doing those things. But also, I can really get such great work done ahead of time.
And a big part of that has been with my power planning, helping me and this self image as well that I’m an entrepreneur, like I stopped doing things like putting on loads of laundry, on a work day, like, while I’m in the middle of work, and I’ll just go hanging up, only take five minutes, or what like, just kind of dabbling like I was kind of half in and half out of my personal life and my business life at the same time. With the help of power planning, I’ve really been able to be like, I’m in business mode. I’m in like, personal life mode, so to speak, and not having those two, kind of like having a clear boundary between them.
A lot of people talk about how, if you are your own boss, then it’s gonna be really challenging to separate out when you are, like working. And when you’re doing personal life stuff. And you’re always going to have this blend, and you’re not going to feel really any sense of separation. And that’s just simply not true. It’s just that so many entrepreneurs choose to have the self image and the identity, that they can’t work productively from home, that they can’t have clear boundaries between their business and their personal life because they work from home. And you can actually change that self image and identity.
So you believe you are someone who works productively from home, even when there are other people home even when there’s loads of laundry to do. And that will create that reality. And that has definitely been my experience, that as soon as I stopped buying into this story, that it’s always going to be these murky waters. And I’m always gonna be half in half out of my personal life and my business. And I actually was just like, hey, I can actually just set up in a way so that I can be fully my business in certain periods of time that I can be fully in my personal life. And that doesn’t mean that there aren’t distractions and things that come up.
But my default mode is that I’m honoring the boundaries that I have, it’s just dramatically changed my experience. And it’s been so beneficial to be able to have that skill set of working from home super productively. The final one I want to talk about is, I know what I’m doing just a self image, just a very general one. I’m the kind of person who knows what I’m doing, especially as it relates to business, but just generally speaking, because a lot of us have this self image of I don’t know what I’m doing.
And therefore I need someone else to tell me what to do, I need to do it the right way. And there’s this right and this wrong way to do things. But believing fundamentally that I know what I’m doing, even though there’s still so much I don’t know, and then that I’m learning, but I know what I’m doing helps me find answers. It helps me create resourcefulness, it helps me build resilience that I don’t have, if I believe I’m the kind of person who doesn’t know what I’m doing.
So it’s that paradox in a way of having the self image that I know what I’m doing, while at the same time, recognizing that I’m still constantly learning. But I’m not in this place where I then need to constantly look outside of myself for others to tell me what to do or to see how others in my industry are doing it that I can develop my own wisdom, my own self trust and relationship with myself so that I can decide the next right step for myself.
So those are 10 ways that my self image has had to evolve and grow, for my business to grow. I hope it’s been helpful to hear some of those beliefs and just identify for yourself some shifts that might need to happen in your self image, so that your business can really truly thrive. There are so many other ones as I mentioned, like, for example, I’ve done other episodes where I talk about this, but such a huge one is believing that I’m the kind of person who does my best work at the last minute.
And through power planning. I’ve really been able to become the person and and through the power planning, upgrading my self image become the person who gets their best work done ahead of time early and easily and can let work be done and move on to the next thing even if the due date isn’t here yet. That has been so pivotal and foundational.
There are so many beliefs specifically as it relates to productivity, specifically as it relates to team building and perfectionism and all these different things. But these are just some of the overarching ones that has really been so important in the growth of my business. So with that said, I hope it’s been helpful. I hope you’re having a beautiful day and I will talk to you in the next episode.
If you want to make sure that the hard work you’re putting into your business isn’t a waste of effort, then I invite you to check out the power planning course. It’ll teach you how to plan properly as a perfectionist with power planning so that you can get out of your own way in your business. And so that every hour you put into your business gets doubles the return. You can find out more and sign up today at samlaurabrown.com/powerplanning.