Podcast

Episode 405: How To Cure Your Addiction To Feeling Behind (Repost)

While perfectionists want everything in their lives to be perfectly organised, the irony is that they actually stop themselves from creating this reality – without even realising it! And one of the reasons they do this is because of their secret addiction to feeling behind.

Most perfectionists would swear that they don’t want to feel behind, so it can be confronting to realise that you might be manufacturing behindness (if that’s a word!) in your life. In this episode I’m talking about why we do this, 2 signs that you’re secretly addicted to chaos and what to do about it.

Find the full episode transcript and show notes at samlaurabrown.com/episode405.

In This Episode You’ll Learn:

  • Why perfectionists can become addicted to feeling behind
  • The sneaky ways perfectionists make themselves feel more behind
  • The real reason you never feel completely organised
  • How feeling behind is secretly serving you
  • Two ways that the addiction to feeling behind manifests for perfectionists
  • How to stop being addicted to feeling behind

Featured In The Episode:

Listen To The Episode

Listen to the episode on the player above, click here to download the episode and take it with you or listen anywhere you normally listen to podcasts – just find Episode 405 of The Perfectionism Project Podcast!

Subscribe To The Perfectionism Project Podcast

FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Introduction

Hi and welcome to another episode of The Perfectionism Project. A podcast full of perfectionism advice for entrepreneurs. My name is Sam Laura Brown, I help entrepreneurs release their perfectionism handbrake, so they can get out of their own way and build a fulfilling and profitable business. I’m the founder of the Perfectionist Getting Shit Done group coaching program, which is otherwise known as PGSD. And for even more perfectionism advice to help you with your business. You can follow me on Instagram @perfectionismproject.

Sam Laura Brown (Episode introduction)

Okay, so we have just wrapped up the PGSD launch. So I wanted to well, I am taking my clean rest give you a podcast episode that is one of the most popular, it is now about 100 episodes ago, so you might not have listened to it, if you have listened to it already. I highly recommend listening to this again take it as a sign. But this episode is on how to cure your addiction to feeling behind. We perfectionist, a very familiar with the whole concept of setting really high standards and expectations for ourselves, putting a lot of pressure on ourselves, getting in our own way because of that not being able to meet those standards and then feeling behind and that feeling like shit and what I’m suggesting in this episode, and what I walk you through is why you might actually be secretly addicted to feeling behind, even though you hate it, and what to actually do about it.

So I will leave you with this episode. I also just want to say though, we have just wrapped up our enrollment week that we had for our July 2023 cohort for perfectionist getting shit done, which is my group coaching program for perfectionist entrepreneurs, it helps you plan properly as a perfectionist and get out of your own way. So a warm welcome to all our new PGSDers. We are going to be opening the doors again in September for our October 2023 cohort. So we have a quarterly cohort. And if you want to find out more about PGSD, and join the waitlist, you can go to samlaurabrown.com/pgsd But I just thought while I’m getting my clean rest, I would give you an episode that is going to be incredibly helpful. Especially we are mid-year and you might be feeling like I’m just not where I want to be this year. And this episode is really going to be helpful for you. So I hope you enjoy it.

It’s present day me again, sorry, I just had one more thing that I wanted to mention, which is if you are a regular listener of this podcast, you will know that in the last year, I have been doing launch update episodes where I am sharing behind the scenes of the launch, I share the numbers, I share the lessons learned all of that kind of thing. And this launch, I didn’t record things behind the scenes in real time.

But I am going to be recording an episode where I am sharing the goal that we had, how we went with that goal, the sign up numbers, and all of that kind of thing, but especially the lessons, the mindset work that was done, how we debrief like all of that stuff, it’s so important that when you are launching that you don’t just do your launch, and then you either hit your goal or you don’t hit your goal, but you don’t take the time to stop and reflect and really identify, Okay, if we did super well, what worked so we can double down on it.

And if we didn’t achieve the goal, what was going on there, and really being able to pinpoint the thoughts that created that result that influence your decisions that influence what you did put your time into and what you didn’t put your time into. And things like as well being able to look at your power planning and do a time audit, to identify what the impact of where your time went was. And where your time really did go, it’s really hard to see that kind of thing. When you’re just working from a to do list or you’re doing time blocking and things like that, you really need to have a tool like power planning that’s going to allow you to be able to really see what was going on with your brain so that you can be more productive and get out of your own way.

So in that episode that’s going to be coming up really soon. I’m not sure exactly when I’m going to record it. But it will be in the next few weeks that I’m going to be sharing all the ins and outs of the launch. I’m going to be sharing all the numbers as I usually do. I’m going to be sharing what came up for myself, what we experienced as a team, what I needed to do with my power planning and the realizations I had by being able to look at that all the different things so stay tuned for that that will be coming very soon. But yeah, for now, I hope you enjoy this episode on how to cure your addiction to feeling behind.

Sam Laura Brown
In this episode, I want to talk to you about the addiction to feeling behind. This is something that so many perfectionists experience when it comes to business. And I haven’t heard many people, if any talking about this, and I think it is worth being onto yourself in this regard. So that if you are subconsciously creating behind this, that you are able to get yourself out of it.

So I’m going to be talking in this episode about two examples, one from a PGSD coaching call, and then one from my own life, of where we might be addicted to feeling behind and subconsciously creating that experience. And then what to do about it, if you do notice that you might be subconsciously creating behind this for yourself. I also want to mention when it comes to feeling behind that, this is something that we use as a bit of a distraction, that if we are feeling behind, then we get to avoid scary work that we might otherwise be doing.

Because we’re so busy and overwhelmed and don’t have enough time to do it. We don’t know what to focus on, on prioritize, because we’re so behind. We might also be avoiding tedious work that needs to be done, for example, taxes, or any kind of tech set up. Everyone has a different view on what’s tedious and what’s not. But there might be some things that you know you need to do, you’re not really scared to do them. But in your brain, they’re a big thing. So you create this feeling of being behind, so that you never have the chance to actually do those things. Because you’re always so busy trying to figure out what to focus on.

And you’re always so busy trying to prioritize trying to really just get on top of everything. So you never have to do that thing. Maybe there’s stuff going on in your personal life conversations you need to have work you need to do it could be related to health, relationships, anything like that. We create this feeling of behind this in the business, so as to distract ourselves. It’s also so comfortable, to be in self pity, to be in overwhelm to be in inadequacy.

I think that’s such a big one that we are so comfortable with feeling inadequate, that we subconsciously create this reality where we are behind, so we can continue to feel inadequate, because feeling loved, feeling connected, feeling joy, all those feelings at the other end of the spectrum, feel so unfamiliar and uncomfortable. Even though they sound amazing, they feel so uncomfortable, that we would rather be in the pity party, we’d rather be in the overwhelm, we’d rather be in the drama. We’d rather be figuring out how to get everything done, than actually doing the thing.

So this is where obviously, power planning comes in and having your goal and then power planning each week to achieve that goal. Getting clean rest everything that we do inside PGSD with the PGSD process. It is designed to get you out of this addiction to feeling behind and to have you feeling safe in being on top of everything to have you feeling safe when you are organized. When you are following through with your plans, when you are feeling spaciousness. We so often we don’t even recognize that we’re so addicted to being behind.

And that were the ones creating that it just feels like a statement of fact, like where you know timezone what the weather is I’m behind, when that’s really something that we are in control of, and that it has hidden benefits to it. So let’s talk about a couple of examples so that you can have a think about whether this is something that’s going on for you. So the first one is from a PGSD coaching call. So I think it was last week I was coaching and PGSDer. And she was saying that when she first started power planning that her first week was incredible mind blowing, got everything done. Amazing.

And then the couple of weeks after that, it wasn’t so much. She was saying that, you know, often you’ll have the motivation the first week will be amazing and then you kind of just drop off and you know, I’ve done that before I’ve been in that pattern. And this is where we have the three months commitment with power planning. So that you have the time and space to really catch that and to notice what it is in your thinking, that is creating that experience of being motivated in the first week, and then not being motivated and not following through after that, and then doing the work you need to do.

So you can follow through consistently, even if you’re 15 weeks into a plan that you have. And really just been, it’s such a great tool to being on to yourself, and getting to know yourself. And by having that three month commitment, it’s really saying that it’s going to take a minute. So if you are finding that in the second or third or the fifth week, that you’re not being as productive as you want to be that that’s okay, that’s part of it, you’re going through that process, you’re learning how to get your perfectionist mindset on your side to follow through with your plans to be comfortable and safe in resting.

So there’s a lot going on. So we have a three month commitment. There’s a commitment we make every three months, every quarter over and over again. But so this PGSDer was saying that what was happening the first week that she made the plan she made it to which follow through with it amazing. Then what changed, wasn’t that something happened to her. And then all this it was that she changed the way that she was thinking about her tasks, her business herself, and her commitment levels.

And also particularly something that came up when I was coaching her was that there was a task on her to do list. So in the first week, she had launched a podcast, which she said she put off for two years. So a pretty productive week, and doing other things as well calls with clients and that kind of thing. And then after that she had other things that she’d been putting off that she had planned to do. And she didn’t get them done. And I was coaching her on this and saying, Okay, what did you plan to do that you didn’t get done? Let’s investigate this.

So one of the things that she had planned to do that she wasn’t getting done and was moving. So this is something I want you to be paying attention to. What tasks are you moving from week to week to week, either on your to do list or if you’re a PGSD or your power planning? And to just really notice that if you keep moving something, yes, it could be lack of commitment. Yes, it could be all these other things. But could it be that you are moving this task from week to week to week, because you are addicted to feeling behind.

So in this instance, she was creating a quiz as an opt in for her email list. And she said it would take about 10 hours to create this quiz. And she had been specific so followed the Power Hour and how we do our planning had been specific with it had focused on the outcome had chunked it down into smaller blocks of time. She said, this is why it was quite tedious to keep moving it from week to week because it was moving all these little blocks of time. And that she needed to get it done. Yes, it was a needle mover. And she just couldn’t get herself to do it.

And so when I said to her, could it be that this is like a little pet that you’re bringing along with you from week to week to week. And that even though yes, you’ve been specific about the outcome. You’ve chunked it down, that you’re still thinking about it like this vague, overwhelming task. And you are denying yourself doing that task, because you’re so addicted to being behind. And that’s what you’re used to. That’s what you’re comfortable with. You’ve spent all your time pre PGSD feeling behind. So now you’re still subconsciously creating behind this.

And that was a massive revelation to her. And I know when I have caught myself being addicted to feeling behind, it’s just been so mind blowing. Because consciously intellectually, we want nothing more than to be organized. We want nothing more than to be following through with our plans and getting shit done and showing up fully in our business. But to just be onto yourself yet have you been moving a task from week to week to week. And you might be doing all sorts of things to try and motivate yourself to get it done. To try and follow through with that plan. But really just noticing that you’re bringing it along with you because you want to feel behind there are a hidden benefits to that. That it helps you avoid more uncomfortable things.

It helps you avoid negative uncomfortable things and also positive uncomfortable things like positive emotions like connection, acceptance, love, joy, they might be so uncomfortable that you prefer to feel behinds than to allow yourself to show up fully to be out of your own way, and to be getting shit done. So I just want to share, I was planning to go through each of the examples and then share what to do. But I think I’m going to just go through in this situation, what my recommendation is, and then I’ll talk about the example from my life.

So what we had this PGSDer do was to think about, and this is a question I asked all the time, what would this look like if it was easy? This quiz that she was creating, if it was easy to achieve the outcome, which is to have something that people can opt in for for her email list. What would that look like? And really allowing it to be easy. We love overcomplicating things that keeps us so busy dealing with the drama of it, the overwhelm of it, and how time consuming it is to execute on a complicated idea. So really getting back to, if this was easy, what would this look like?

And how can I get this done this week. And now this might seem really obvious, but when it’s a task that you have been dragging with it, and maybe you’ve been doing this for years, you have had a task that keeps getting bumped from week to week to week, and maybe at some point, you decided you’re going to stop writing that on your list, you’re going to stop putting that in your calendar, because it’s so painful to keep seeing yourself not doing it.

But maybe you have an idea in the back of your mind, maybe it’s I’m going to start a podcast, maybe it’s I’m going to create a new product for my business, I’m going to put up my prices for my art, whatever it is, there is this thing that you keep reviewing with you from week to week to week, you need to be on to yourself. This is why the weekly review is such an important part of power planning. It’s the third step. This is when you get onto yourself when we work from a to do list. Yes, you might notice this of rewriting it and rewriting it. But you don’t have that opportunity for insight the same way that you do. And you’re working from a calendar.

So if it was easy, what would it look like? And how can you get it done this week, knowing that that’s going to bring up resistance that your brain wants it to be complicated. Your brain wants to keep moving that task, week to week, even though you feel so guilty for putting it off, it’s so comfortable to put it off. So if you’re a PGSDer as well, I highly recommend getting coached on it. Because there’ll be other things going on blind spots that you might not be able to see yourself that we can point out to you.

And you can really like this PGSDer, like she was mind blown. She was addicted to feeling behind and had never thought of it that way or seen it that way. So as with a lot of coaching, when you find yourself coaching on something, you can then start to notice it in your own life. And so I noticed myself doing this. So for a bit of context, what I did last week when I was working on the business, is that I got a high level view of when we are doing our PGSD launches this year, when I will need to create the content for each launch. And I’m working three days per week. So what that’s going to look like like how much time will I have to do things. And what was so interesting is before I did that bird’s eye view, I felt like I didn’t have enough time that I was behind. And then I zoomed out.

I made decisions about when we’re doing the enrollment periods, like choosing those exact dates, and exactly what the launches are going to look like. And then when I looked at how much time I had to execute on that, I realized I actually have more than enough time in three days a week to achieve the goal that we have this year as a business of making a million dollars Australian dollars. So that was really interesting to notice that once I got specific once I got it in my calendar, and I was really clear about what’s a needle mover and what isn’t that I had more than enough time.

So then on the weekend, I found myself I was having a conversation with a friend about her business. And I found myself thinking about another business that I have started on the side. Nothing’s really happened with it yet but another business that I got really inspired to start putting more time into building that business is business that Steve and I are working on together. And so I got really inspired about that. I started listening to a few podcast episodes specifically relating to that. And just thinking about, okay, when can I put this in my calendar. Now I have all this time, maybe I could do one day a fortnight.

I also a few days before that. And it was funny because I never made the connection between these two things, until recently until a couple of days ago, but that I was starting to think about coach training, so get a getting certified with the Life Coach School. And I’ve mentioned I’m in Stacey Boehman’s 200k mastermind, and a lot of the coaches in that are certified with the Life Coach School. And if you’re an OG listener of this podcast, you know how much I love Brooke Castillo and The Life Coach School and so I was like, maybe this is the best time for me to get certified.

And I was looking at their website and seeing the dates for certification and what was required. And what I realized was that as soon as I felt on top of things in terms of the business, I was adding more to my plate so I could feel behind again. And it makes sense to me that my brain is wanting to do this, because I spent a lot like there was a lot going on for me. Last year, I was pregnant for the first half of the year, then I had a newborn for the second half of the also in terms of to those business, and then that we were also managing the builders who are renovating our home.

And that pretty much started I think it ended up starting a few weeks or so before Lydia was born. So doing that we had a newborn and that moving and just there’s been a lot going on is the story I’ve been telling myself. So then suddenly, once now we moved back into our house. And Lydia is now just over seven months old. So she’s like we’re getting into a rhythm with her. And yeah, the business was it was really once I mapped out okay, exactly when are we launching.

When are the enrollment periods? What’s required for me to execute on that, noticing I had enough time more than enough time with working three days a week to do that, that I was putting more on my plate and what conclusion I came to because I was really like, this is the best time to do all these extra things was to notice, okay, what have I got going on, that I’m potentially avoiding. And that I could instead put a full effort into what I’ve already got on my plate, rather than just adding more.

And I’ve talked before about how we love having so many different goals. This is why in PGSD, you set one goal. Because when we have a whole lot of goals, we jump from focusing on one to the other to the other, whenever it gets uncomfortable. We’re in this dip, where we’re between motivation and results. So the motivation is gone. And we haven’t yet got results. That’s the dip. And we go okay, well, I’m going to now focus on fitness. And now I’m going to focus on my relationship. And now I’m going to focus on the business again.

And we just jump from goal to goal to goal to goal whenever something gets uncomfortable, instead of putting a full effort into what we had originally committed to. So I was really reflecting on what am I committed to right now that I might not be putting a full effort into? Or what could I really do to get fully on top of what I’m currently doing. So that when I am doing these other things working on the other business during my coach training, that I’m able to fully show up to that. And also how can I give myself the opportunity to practice being fully committed to been all in.

And so what I recognize is that there are a few things besides a business that I’m committed to that by signing up for coach training, which I want to do and is happening at some point. But by making that decision from a place of, Oh, I’ve got all this spare time on my hands. I’m going to do it right now instead of really being I guess in my power in the sense of like, I am really all in on everything I’ve got going on and there’s space for this instead of I if I was signing up when I had wanted to. It would be from this place of I’m not feeling behind and I’m used to feeling behind so what else can I add here so that I’m feeling behind again.

I hope this is making sense But what I noticed is that there are a couple of other commitments that I had made that by being busy with a coach certification been busy with another business that I wouldn’t be allowing myself to fully commit to. So the first is planning my wedding. Steve and I are getting married in June this year, at our house, it’s one of the reasons we got renovated. And by adding these other things to my plate, it was distracting myself from getting into the weeds of the wedding planning.

So few weeks ago, we set the date for our wedding, which is actually going to be on our 15 year anniversary. So we set the date for the wedding, we’ve started brainstorming ideas for what we’re going to do. And that brings up a lot of decisions to be made if you’re planning a wedding. And I’d say as is going to be on the more casual side of things in terms of weddings, but so it’s a wedding, to find a wedding, you know, there’s a lot of decisions that come along with that.

And also, the other thing that I have committed to that I would be avoiding, if I was adding more to my plate is finishing the renovation in the sense that it’s technically finished, like we’re in the house, it’s beautiful, all of that. But in terms of interior design, so I’m doing the interior stuff, Steve is in charge of exteriors. And so my home office, for example, I’m currently just sitting in a room with a desk and a chair and blank walls.

So designing the office doing Lydia’s room, doing our living like nothing, there’s no art on walls, or photos or anything anywhere. We have to there’s so many things that not we have to do. But we want to do to really have our house feel like a home. And by adding all these other things to my plate, it would allow me to get to feel behind on everything, which is what’s still at this point comfortable to me, I’m a lot more comfortable and feeling on top of things. But I can still feel like this is a journey. And I can still feel I have work to do on this addiction to feeling behind because as soon as I got myself to a place where I was kind of feeling on top of things, I was trying to add more to my plate so I could feel behind again.

So the question in this situation was really, how can I put a full effort into what I’m already doing. And I really took a look at what I’ve got going on this year, not just in the business, but a bird’s eye view of everything. And really seeing how can I approach those two things. So for example, with the wedding, it looks like creating a amusing notion. But I, you know, you can use any kind of planning task management thing, or you could use a spreadsheet or a Google Doc or whatever. But actually really planning out and being very intentional with what needs to get decided, and setting aside a time for that in my power planning as well.

And not just having it be this thing that I’m behind with that and then having to make last minute decisions around or would have to change the day because things were booked out because I wasn’t on top of it to really be like if I was all in on planning this wedding and doing that it’s so important to me, I’m going to do my best at this to be decisive. And to honor what Steve and I want and what’s important to us for the day. And not just what’s traditional, or whatever else might be expecting.

And how can I really enjoy that process and be fully present with that process and not resenting it and not seen it as this chore. And I think that’s what happened. And we’re so addicted to feeling behind that we add all these things to our plate, we’re over planning. And then we’re resenting all the over planning that we’ve done, because resentment feels comfortable to feeling better feels comfortable to. And we miss out on so many opportunities.

And really just seeing like this is such a, an amazing experience, I get to plan this wedding with Steve and it gets to be at our home and our daughter is going to be there. And it’s our friends and family coming together and all these different things. And if I’m just adding all these other things to my plate so I can feel behind again, I’m going to miss that whole opportunity to be connected to myself and Steve and Lydia and everyone else during that process.

And then in terms of the interior design, so 100% I can feel myself wanting the all or nothing. I want to push a button and it’s just all done. And it all looks like it was right from Pinterest. But it was interesting actually, I was talking to Steve’s mum about this that as much as I want it to all be done. I don’t because I do like that process as hard as it is to make decisions about what rag to put up and what to do with what wall or whatever, I really do enjoy that process.

And that’s something that I’ve discovered in my clean rest time that I enjoy doing. And so instead of it being this chore, and I wish it was just done already, but how can I really be intentional with it and present with it, and I’m working three days a week, so I have four days off per week. A lot of those days, I’m looking after Lydia, I’m not twiddling my thumbs, but I do have time.

And so how can I really be present for that as well. And once I’m at that point where the ball is rolling with those two things, I’m not behind about it. There are other life admin like little life admin things, then it’s like, okay, now from this place of being organized, and being on top of what I’m doing, what do I want to do? Not okay, I’m used to feeling behind. And now suddenly, I feel a bit too organized. So I’m going to add something more to my plate. So for example, with the interior design, what I’ve decided to do is for each month, I’m going to focus on a certain room. So yeah, I really want to do it all at once, but I’m not letting myself.

So this month, it is my home office. And it’s not getting it to a point of perfection, it’s also not getting it to a point of it being Pinterest worthy, because the more I reflect on that, like, as in my office, so my desk is in the middle of the room. And a lot of Pinterest offices that look like this have chairs. So it’s as if you know, someone was coming in to sit down in my office and have a chat, that isn’t practical, that isn’t how I use my office.

So I’m really wanting to make sure that I’m styling it in a way that actually makes sense for how I use it. And it’s really a reflection of me and what I do, and not just what looks good on Pinterest. So for example, I’m going to be putting a magnetic whiteboard thing, or it’s glass, a magnetic glass whiteboard, on the wall that I’m looking at. And that’s not going to look super Pinterest friendly. I mean, it could, but that’s going to be so incredible for me to be able to write on this whiteboard, and also to be able to teach from it as a one on one coaching calls.

And inside PGSD. So anyway, so important to be true to ourselves with that kind of thing. But I’m planning to do the home office this month, next month, Lydia’s room, and then I’ve got it listed out so that I not in this all or nothing of like, Oh, hey, no need to find a rug for every room. Like my brain doesn’t want to do that things are overwhelming. So all of this to say that if you are moving a task from week to week to week to week, or if you do something that allows you to really feel like you have a lot of clarity.

Actually, this brings up such a good point because I was just in the PGSD forum before. And so some of our PGSDers, who have set their goals. And then suddenly they’re like, actually, there’s this other thing, I want to work on cnd should I change my goal and there’s this other thing I want to work on, and should I change my goal, spoiler alert, keep the goal the same. But we have this desire to change the goal for this reason that it like getting specific about things and having things actually start to feel doable feels scary, even when it’s a goal that set above what you believe, like we do in PGSD, that feels uncomfortable that you might actually get that you might actually have something to celebrate yourself, or you might actually be good enough, quote unquote, to achieve it by not pursuing that goal as a way to prove we’re good enough.

But it’s uncomfortable to really be with the sentiment that maybe I’m actually okay, maybe there’s nothing wrong with me. So we want to change the goal, we want to add things to our plate we can really like it can really seem like if you notice, I just had this realization that I want to focus on this or do this other thing. Just let a little alarm bell go off for the feeling of the being addicted to feeling behind.

If you’ve just had a sudden realization that actually you’re really passionate about this thing, or there was this other thing you haven’t been it doesn’t mean not to pursue that. There’s nuance, but I just wanted you to be onto yourself and to notice, am I adding this to my plate? Because this will allow me to feel behind. I know that might sound like a weird question. You don’t want to be behind. You want nothing more than to not be behind, but it benefits us in so many ways.

It keeps us relatable to friends and family who are also behind and also not living the life they fully want to. Again, it helps us avoid discomfort, both negative feelings and positive feelings, it might be very unfamiliar, it really is the perfect cover. Because it also makes us feel productive. And like West, someone who has got a lot of potential. And we’re really ambitious, because the facts were behind means we want to get ahead and like all this sort of thing.

So I really hope that by sharing these examples, it has helped you reflect on are you adding things to your plate to feel behind. And that might be like I was talking about this broad sense of adding these bigger commitments to your plate, like coach training, like, what was my other example, out my other business focusing on that? Or is it on a more weekly basis that you had this task, maybe it’s one, maybe it’s a handful of tasks, the ones you should do that you keep dragging from week to week to week, so that you always get to feel a little behind.

And this is why I love power planning. And I love that it really shows us our selves and the work to do. And it’s such a great opportunity to get to know yourself better. And all our PGSDers super nerdy about personal development, and all of that kind of thing. But it really gives you this opportunity to see, okay, it’s not actually like this is planning, you know, this planning system likes me, this one doesn’t. And I need to find the one where I can just stay motivated all the time.

It’s your thoughts that are making you motivated in the first week and then not motivated after that. And power planning is what allows you to really see that that’s going on and actually do something about it. So you can get your perfectionist mindset on your side and get out of your own way, which is what we’re all about inside PGSD. I also actually want to mention in regards to PGSD, because I was talking about planning out the launch dates for when we’re opening our doors again.

So PGSD currently closed for enrollment. But we will be opening again in April 2022. So if you’re not already on the PGSD waitlist, you can go to samlaurabrown.com/pgsd to join that waitlist that’s going to tell you more about the program, how it’s going to help you get out of your own way in your business, all the important information you need to know about the program and whether it’s a good fit for you. You’ll also find out the dates everything like that that you need.

So make sure to add your name to the waitlist only takes 20 seconds. And if you can relate to what I’ve shared in this episode, definitely join our waitlist, we really want to help you in PGSD and really help you to show up fully and to better know yourself. And to be able to put yourself out there and do all the things you know that you need to do. I think there’s addiction to feeling behind is really one of the ways that we procrastinate.

There’s obvious procrastination, like watching Netflix when we’d plan to work or going on Instagram and scrolling when we plans to work. Which even just saying that, like it makes me think of how this is part of the reason that so many perfectionist do work from a to do list is that you don’t really get to notice when you procrastinate as much because you hadn’t specifically planned things. But when you’re planning you will notice procrastination more.

So it’ll feel like you’re procrastinating more initially, but you’re not, you’re just actually noticing it so you can do something about it. But in the tool and the PGSD process will help you do something about it. But with this addiction to feeling behind. It’s one of the ways that we subtly procrastinate. It allows us to do a lot of busy work and not needle movers. And also, if we think of procrastination as withholding effort, it allows us to withhold effort from what we’re already committed to doing, instead of going all in on what we committed to do.

So for me, the business of executing at the highest level and the plan that I have the wedding and the interior design for the house. And then once I’m in a different place with that where that’s all rolling, then I can decide okay, from this place, and with this self image of being someone who is organized, who makes plans and follows them who shows up for yourself. Now what I want to do, that doesn’t mean I won’t decide to do co training. I know for sure I’m going to do it doesn’t mean that I’m not going to work on the other business, but I’m not doing it as a coping strategy for not being able to deal with the uncomfortable feelings of not being behind.

So yeah, there’s more I want to say on this. There’s more I could say, but I’m gonna leave it here. I really hope this has been insightful and valuable for you. Please take a screenshot and tag me on Instagram. And let me know what your biggest takeaway was. I’m @perfectionismproject. I hope you’re having a beautiful day and I will talk to you in the next episode.

Sam Laura Brown (Outro)
Okay, so that was my interview with PGSDer Kristen Cain, I hope you found it incredibly helpful. So PGSD is open for enrollment right now. And we aren’t going to be opening again until we are doing our intake for our October cohort of PGSD. So to find out more about PGSD, you can go to samlaurabrown.com/pgsd. The doors aren’t open for much longer if you’re listening to this when this episode is going live, the doors are closing at 11:59pm New York time on the 18th of June. So make sure you go ahead and you sign up and you get yourself in PGSD for our July 2023 cohort.

Author: Sam Brown