There are two reasons I’m sharing a coaching call excerpt with you from my program Perfectionists Getting Shit Done:
Firstly, because if you’re a perfectionist entrepreneur then you need to know about false problems. Our brains create problems to keep us busy and distracted. This way we can subconsciously avoid solving more uncomfortable problems in our business or we get to avoid doing uncomfortable work. In this call you’ll hear me spot a false problem that my client was having and help her work through what’s really going on for her in her business.
The second reason I wanted to share this call is because it’s such a great example of the power of being inside Perfectionists Getting Shit Done. We perfectionists love to be self-sufficient in our mindset work. We feel embarrassed for others to see our messy brains and feel like getting help from others is a sign that we aren’t smart enough to do it on our own. But when we’re completely self-sufficient, there are blindspots that never get uncovered because it’s too uncomfortable for our brains to see them.
Being able to get coached on one of our weekly live calls or listen to the 200+ coaching call replays on the PGSD Private Podcast means that you’ll no longer be confused about why you aren’t getting shit done, keep burning yourself out or are struggling to get to your goals. When you’re inside the program you’ll be able to finally see your blindspots, without feeling bad about them, and then solve for what’s really going on. This is the secret to getting out of your own way in your business.
A big thank you to the PGSDer I coached on this call for giving us permission to share it on the podcast.
Perfectionists Getting Shit Done is currently open for enrollment. To find out more and sign up for the program today visit samlaurabrown.com/pgsd.
Find the full episode transcript and show notes at samlaurabrown.com/episode465.
Featured In The Episode:
- Sign up for Perfectionists Getting Shit Done (PGSD) – samlaurabrown.com/pgsd
- Take The Perfectionism Quiz: samlaurabrown.com/quiz
- Sign up for daily Perfectionist Power-Ups – samlaurabrown.com/power
- Follow me on Instagram @perfectionismproject
Work With Me:
My coaching program Perfectionists Getting Shit Done (aka PGSD) teaches you how to plan properly as a perfectionist so you can get out of your own way in your business. To find out more about the program and sign up today, visit: samlaurabrown.com/pgsd.
Listen To The Episode
Listen to the episode on the player above, click here to download the episode and take it with you or listen anywhere you normally listen to podcasts – just find Episode 465 of The Perfectionism Project Podcast!
Subscribe To The Perfectionism Project Podcast
- Spotify
- Apple Podcasts (iPhone only)
- Google Podcasts (Android only)
- Stitcher
- Castbox
- TuneIn
- Overcast
FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
Introduction
Hi and welcome to another episode of The Perfectionism Project, a podcast full of perfectionism advice for entrepreneurs. My name is Sam Laura Brown, I help entrepreneurs release their perfectionism handbrake so they can get out of their own way and build a fulfilling and profitable business. I’m the founder of the Perfectionist Getting Shit Done group coaching program, which is otherwise known as PGSD. And for even more perfectionism advice to help you with your business. You can follow me on Instagram @perfectionismproject
Sam Laura Brown (Custom intro)
In today’s episode, I am sharing with you a coaching call excerpt from inside my program perfectionist getting shit done. And there are two reasons that I wanted to share this excerpt with you. So first of all false problems if you’re a perfectionist entrepreneur. And I’m assuming you are because you’re listening to this podcast. So either you’re a creative, you’re an entrepreneur or have a small business, you’re a freelancer, you’re a consultant, if you are running a business, you need to know about how your perfectionist brain might create false problems, and what to actually do when that comes up. And so by hearing me coach this PGSDer, you’ll get an understanding for that, and see how what you can present with as what you think a problem is for you might not actually be the real thing that you need to be looking at. And so often I have seen this.
So many times, I’ve coached over 1000 perfectionist entrepreneurs inside the program, that our brains like we just get so busy with trying to figure out certain things like work life balance, waking up early, getting to bed on time, and it can come up in so many different ways. But there are certain ones we really love as perfectionist that we’re just always busy trying to solve this same problem and figure it out, when actually, that’s not really a real problem for us, we are just distracting ourselves with a comfortable problem, because as an uncomfortable problem that we want to avoid. So this call is going to really demonstrate what that can look like. And just by hearing me coaching this PGSDer on it is going to be really helpful for you to just see, are there any false problems going on for you. And also, we talk about other things on this call as well. So I know it’s gonna be insanely valuable.
The second thing, the second reason that I wanted to share this excerpt with you is just because I think it really demonstrates so well, the power of being in a coaching program, where you not only get to get coached yourself, like this PGSDer did, but you get to listen to other people with a perfectionist brain who have a business, getting coached on the struggles that they are having. And that this particular example of having a false problem that when we just self coaching, and I love self coaching, I love teaching self coaching inside PGSD. But when we are too self sufficient, with our own mindset work, there are big blind spots that we never get to uncover or they take years for us to have this self awareness around. Because there are certain things that our brain just doesn’t want to see. And this is a beautiful part about the brain, that it is really clever.
And it is really great at trying to protect us that is what its job is. And so there are just some things that are too uncomfortable for us to have in our awareness. And we won’t be able to see them unless someone else pointed out. So you can either get on a call yourself inside PGSD and get coached. Or you can listen to the coaching call replay recordings if you’re a lurker, or you’re just not available at the time that we do the calls we have most PGSDer I mean, there are a lot of PGSDers as well who love the calls. But there are even more PGSDers who never attend the calls and just listen to the PGSD private podcasts. There are over 200 episodes there that are coaching called replays. We’ve labeled them so you can find whether you need something on overwhelm or overthinking procrastination, impostor syndrome, fear of judgment, like we’ve got it covered for you with those coaching calls.
And you were able to just hear others getting coached and what it’s like to really have someone else looking at your brain. And then you can take that skill set with you to yourself coaching so that you can look at your brain in a better way by yourself in a more productive way. And just by hearing other perfectionist entrepreneurs getting coached who have very similar struggles to use since they have a perfectionist brain as well, regardless of what kind of business they have, we have so many different kinds of entrepreneurs in PGSD, it’s really about getting out of your own way in your business as a perfectionist entrepreneur. And so just by hearing others getting coached, and having that be available whenever you need it, but also be able to binge listen to that when you’re in a time where you’re feeling really unmotivated, or really unfocused and you’re just struggling to get shit done. To hear that coaching, it is so powerful. And I hope that if you enjoy and find this core valuable that you really get yourself inside PGSD, because you will have that support available to you on demand when you need it.
And it really makes all the difference. I really put so much into this podcast and providing as much value as I can. But actually getting the support and hearing coaching and not just advice and having that available on a regular basis is really the key to getting out of your own way. So with that said, I hope you enjoy listening to this excerpt from perfectionist getting shit done from one of our coaching calls. PGSD is currently open for enrollment so you can go to samlaurabrown.com/pgsd to find out more and sign up today you get instant access to the call calendar and be available to come to the next call that we have. You will be able to also get the PGSD private podcast and start listening to that as well. So I hope you enjoy this coaching call excerpt.
Sam Laura Brown (Main Content)
Hello. Hi, how are you? What can I get you on today?
Erin
So, I think I’m just going to talk for a minute. And hopefully you can piece together what I actually need to be coached on. So I had submitted because recently, I took a position with a marketing agency, which I am like, super, super, super excited about, and it’s going really well. And I love the people that I’m working with. It’s like an awesome team, like I’ve gotten great feedback from them. And from the clients. I feel maybe like I’m having like, maybe like a combination of like an upper limit problem, a dip and or ghosting my goal like all like happening at the same time. Because that piece is going really, really well. And then I feel like, because of that, and I feel like maybe there’s like a little people pleasing, like wrapped up in this to that it like feels a little bit more job like and that is on me like they are not making it feel like that at all. Like they refer to themselves as my client.
Like they asked me for my rate, like there’s nothing that they’re doing that is making it feel like they are not a client of my business, like I am just feeling sort of like I’m making it almost like employee like for myself. So there’s like a piece of that in there. And then I haven’t done a static post or reel on my Instagram since April 6, like just nothing. On my own company, Instagram, I’ve still been showing up on stories. But like when I first started power planning and when I first was like doing everything and like was in that like excited kind of like hype mode at the beginning of all of this. I was like really consistent with all of that. And then I feel like, I don’t know if I’m like making excuses for myself, because the agency position is busy and I have more on my plate. But it’s not like I don’t have the time to be doing this stuff for my own business too. So there’s that. So that I feel like that’s kind of like just the word vomit for you about like everything that’s going on. And then hopefully you can piece some things together that we need to talk about from there.
Sam Laura Brown
Okay, so why is it a problem that that client that you mentioned, it’s feeling job like, why is that an issue?
Erin
I guess that’s not totally an issue. It’s just that I feel like a major sense of urgency, like when someone from that particular team like, asks me to do something like it almost feels. And again, like I might be doing this to myself, like I don’t think they’re making it that way. Like they’re not being like this needs to be done in the next hour. Like I just, I don’t know if it’s because like, I feel like I need to make a good impression, or because I haven’t been working with that type of team before. I’m not totally sure what, like where that stemming from. But I feel like this crazy sense of urgency like whenever and again, it’s not a pressure that they were putting on me they are not saying anything like that. They’re actually super, super respectful of my time like this, you people who run the company, like even told the other team members like Erin is only here on Mondays and Wednesdays, that’s when she has child care. Like please keep meetings with her to those times. Like you know, she asked me at the end of the week, like if she gives me another task like where are you at with ours for the week? So like super respectful on their end? It has nothing to do with that. It’s all it’s all me. And I’m totally aware of that. But like, I don’t know, where so.
Sam Laura Brown
Yeah let’s investigate. So you said that it feels like a job because it feels like a job that there’s a sense of urgency. And that my guess is anytime they have a request that you’re feeling like you need to prioritize that and deprioritize anything for yourself. So why is that a problem? Not saying it’s not. But why is that a problem?
Erin
I guess because I’m not making enough with them that I don’t still need other clients in my business to hit my own goals. So like I still need to be doing the things like to market myself and to connect with other people and all of those sorts of things to bring in. Like to be able to help more people and generate more revenue in my life. Those are my two main goals out of my business, right is to help people and generate revenue. So I feel like I’m not like I feel like I’m kind of letting those things go because of this. I feel like that’s where it feels like a problem.
Sam Laura Brown
Okay, so the problem is, you’re not making enough with them. But you’re also feeling like anything that they give you. You have to do urgently. Why is that we’ve obviously ruled out that it’s not them and it never is. It’s always a thought. But what are you thinking about it? And let’s maybe explore what do you think will happen if you didn’t get it done right away?
Erin
Nothing like nothing.
Sam Laura Brown
But not intellectually, because you obviously think something’s gonna happen. So this is where we need to be unto ourselves about like, when we’re self aware, we’re like, oh, there but I knew nothing. Nothing bad will happen. Yeah, we think that and we also have a thought of like, well, they might fire me or whatever. So putting aside what you intellectually know it to be true. What else is your brain telling you about what would happen if it didn’t get done?
Erin
I think it stems a lot from like what you talk about with like, the way that we interacted, like at school, like, I feel like I’m getting so much positive reinforcement from how I’m interacting with the team and from how I’m interacting with these people that they’re like, Oh, my God, like you’re so on top of things. You’re so organized, blah, blah, like, I’m getting that like positive feedback. And I feel like maybe my brain is telling me that, like, not positive feedback will stop coming, if I don’t do the things that I’m currently doing.
Sam Laura Brown
And then what? Why is that a problem?
Erin
I mean, intellectually, I want to say back to you. It’s not that I know there’s something where I got or I guess, I mean, it kind of stems to like, I guess there’s a fear there that, I guess that I’m not going to get that back from them like that, that I guess, they won’t think the same of me, which, like, I know, like saying that out loud. Like, that’s like, that’s ridiculous. But like, that’s what that’s the perfectionism handbrake, like fully coming on, right, that they are not gonna think the same things that they’re currently thinking about me if I don’t perform the same way.
Sam Laura Brown
What’s your focus for this quarter? Have you got one? Because you’ve done this three months? I mean, now that we’re done without planning, but have you moved on and chosen a focus for the next quarter? What is it?
Erin
So I chose soft trust, interestingly, because I feel like that’s definitely coming out here too. I’ve only watched the first two videos, so I’m not that far with it. But I have watched them. I did all the link prompt.
Sam Laura Brown
You know enough, trust you know enough about the…
Erin
Exactly, exactly. But yeah, so I dove in, I like I said, I watched the first couple of videos, I did the journaling prompts with them. So actually, I have a right here and me. So yeah, I mean, I said things along the lines of like, this is the area that I need the most work.
Sam Laura Brown
So tell me when it comes to this and self trust? In what ways do you need to trust yourself here that you haven’t been Oh, that aren’t coming easily? I think that I need prioritize what matters and stick to your word about when you work and when you don’t?
Erin
Yeah, I think if that I need to like be more diligent with my Power Hour at the beginning of the week of like putting in blocks for them and then sticking to those blocks with them, which I’ve been like, kind of doing it’s more than like a last minute thing pops up for them that like I kind of also just get like swept up in that. Yeah, I think it’s just like sticking more to that. And then the blocks that I have for myself like sticking to those shoe and it’s not that I’m not do like the blocks are in there. And I I guess I need to maybe think more through that with like the end portion to with like the obstacles that are I don’t think I’ve journaled about. I’ve been thinking through obstacles, but I don’t think I put that in there at all the last couple of weeks, which is interesting, because it’s been happening for the last couple of weeks. So I don’t know why I didn’t make that connection. It’s like I just ignored the fact that it was happening. Yeah, like just didn’t want to go there.
Sam Laura Brown
Yeah, well, what I wanted to ask you as well is, what would you be doing to say when there’s an urgent task that comes up? And you’re like, Okay, I need to be involved in this. So I guess as a side of what you think they’re thinking of you or that kind of stuff, and self image and all of that. But also, what would you be working on in your business if you weren’t busy with that tasks? What are you deprioritizing? Or, not even knowing power planning.
Erin
So I’m definitely deprioritizing, like my own marketing tasks, I feel like social media is the thing that’s like really falling by the wayside. And that does bring me clients when I am consistent with it. And when I am putting the message out there and the way that it needs to be put out there. So I’m definitely like, shoving that to the back for sure. Like my own email newsletter didn’t go out last month, like do there’s just things that like are my, like my own tasks that are getting, like really shoved to the bottom of the barrel.
Sam Laura Brown
Yeah, and what I think it’s so helpful to look at in this situation is like, as I said, Yes, we can look at the reasons that you’re wanting to get that task done from like, one perspective being the one we already explored. But what if we looked at what’s really going on with you and those tasks you’re avoiding? And is all of this stuff with that client and like feeling like it’s job like and then maybe having to coach yourself around that and like, all of this kind of drama around it. How is that helping you avoid the tasks that might be more uncomfortable such as just posting on Instagram consistently like you obviously were doing that consistently it was working and so it’s like, oh, fuck, it’s actually watching. This is too much. I’m just gonna like get busy with this client and then like, complain to myself that it’s feeling like a job. And I don’t know why it’s really like a job because that grade, I need to do this house urgently. It’s like, oh, actually, maybe if we instead of focusing on that client and what needs to go on there, if we focus on you, and trusting yourself and doing the things that you need to do, and knowing that this is just that, like those fears, manifesting as you like them being busy with them.
I am speaking from experience here, I am too busy, like, for extended periods of time, like when it was in 2018, I had like, clients that I was helping with Pinterest, and I was doing ghost writing and all these different things. And any, like even, they weren’t even asking of me, I just had stuff I was doing for them. And I do it fast before any of my other stuff. And it was because it was so much more comfortable. It’s like you mentioned with school, like when we have, especially when you are use to having here’s the assignment or the exam, here’s the exact criteria, you need to meet. Here’s the exact topic, you need to talk on here, the exact parameters, that’s easy for our brain, then to do the other stuff. But when we are however, planning and planning properly, we are able to create that specificity for ourselves.
So it is easier for our brain to follow. Like so many of us love following the structure that is given by a boss or by a client in this case, or by school. And so it’s like giving that to our brains. So instead of like we busy stuff, like I don’t even know where to start. And it’s been so long since I posted an Instagram like how would I even come back to that? And, of course, your brains like Oh, urgent task, okay, no worries, it makes sense that your brain is doing that. It’s so much right, and just like lock in and do it, and then get that validation back. But do I call that interesting, like for all of us, when you are having this kind of thing happen, where you’re prioritizing something else. So it might be a client. In this case, it might be what your husband is asking, like, there’s so many different ways this can manifest but getting curious about, oh, what is this helping me to avoid? And what’s going on that instead of focusing on the like, client, the husband, whatever it is, tell me more about you and Instagram?
Erin
Oh, like that kind of says all of it right there, right that I just have this like, love hate relationship with it because it feels. And I talked to this about Michelle, I talked to Michelle about this before, like I got coached on this before. Like, it just feels heavy to me to have to do it. And I don’t know, like I collected all that shit.
Sam Laura Brown
Yeah. Tell me when you’re creating your Instagram content? Who are you thinking about? Creating it for? Like who’s reading it? In your mind? Again,
Erin
I want to go to like the intellectual answer. But I don’t think that’s my brain is actually doing with it. Like, I feel like I’ve done like all the like, I’ve done millions of like ideal plan avatar exercise, like I know who that person is. And that like one person that I want to speak to you. But when I lay in.
Sam Laura Brown
Here, I guess to be more clear is are you talking to someone who wants to work with you, that’s your ideal client or your ideal client who doesn’t want to work with you. And they need convincing selling, because often when it’s heavy, it’s because we’re talking to someone who doesn’t want it. Yeah, and they might be a perfect fit. And we’re like, Oh, if they could just see or like, it’d be so great. But if we’re talking to someone who doesn’t want what we have to offer, it sucks. It’s not fun. We need a lot of motivation, a lot of willpower, we need batching and templates and like structure, like so many different things that it’s not saying that those things can’t be helpful. But it is feeling heavy for everyone. If regardless of if you’re an Instagram or anything else, if your marketing is feeling heavy, I want you to think about who you are thinking about on the other end of that.
And if you are talking to someone who fundamentally like believes in the way that you do things, they respect you as a professional, they want to work with you that already you Yes. And now you’re just showing up reminding them inviting them? Or is it someone who’s a good fit? Maybe they meet your like ideal client, they have the right kind of business, you know, they’re the right location, whatever that looks like. But they aren’t actually like you’re thinking they don’t want this is gonna bother them. Like, tell me some of the thoughts you’re thinking. Why does it feel heavy? If you answer that question at all?
Erin
I mean, I think it is a lot of what you said like it just feels like I don’t know if there’s enough people in my audience like I don’t know if the people in my audience are the people that are supposed to be there. I don’t know. Yeah, if they want the services from it, like I feel like there’s a lot of that like floating around when I’m doing it.
Sam Laura Brown
When you’re posting before were you thinking those thoughts, but then kind of willpower on your way through it? Or are you thinking about it differently? Like how did it feel? Did it feel lighter and easy or did it feel heavy that and you just kind of persisted with the heavy.
Erin
It’s still kind of felt a little bit Heavy I think those thoughts were still there. And it’s I think I was just not beginning. Like, all the excitement like around power planning and all the excitement around my goal and all of those that I think were kind of like fueling like me just powering through that specific piece. So feeling kind of heavy, but because I had those other pieces of motivation there at the beginning, like I said, I think I’m like, weirdly, like, in a dip and in a good place, like, all at the same time, right now, it’s very strange.
Sam Laura Brown
It’s not weird, been, by the way, like an array of lots of different kinds of thoughts. It’s not like it’s our brains, just think one flavor of thought at once. And then it’s a different, it’s like, we’re gonna be thinking, it’s working, it’s not working, and all the things in between, at the same time, and it’s kind of, it’s okay for that to happen. And we can achieve a lot. While that’s happening. We don’t have to have a perfectly managed mind or anything like that. But just knowing that, like, if your pulling it off, it’s strange, then it’s going to be hard to solve for it, or even recognize it’s not a problem at all, because it’s like, it’s strange. This is unusual this like, and then we kind of make ourselves wrong and weird for being that way. And thinking that way, instead of being like, oh, yeah, this is like what everyone else is going through as well.
Erin
Yeah, that’s funny that you said that, because I hadn’t even thought of like that thought from those other thoughts like that hadn’t even occurred to me that that could be like influencing things. Also that I was just thinking about all of that that way, also.
Sam Laura Brown
Yeah. And that’s, that’s all fine. There’s no problem even with that, with not having noticed it. So when it comes to your Instagram, so you’re saying that you were thinking before you were thinking about in a heavy way, and you’re just able to, like, persist through it? So tell me about a client that you love working with? Like, can you bring us on to mind?
Erin
Yeah, immediately, I have a photographer that I if I could clone her like seven times and have her every month like that is she’s my person, like she is amazing to work with, like, pays my prices, like without hesitation, like we communicate really, really well. She’s super organized. Like, I just I absolutely adore her.
Sam Laura Brown
Yeah. And so how many followers roughly, do you have an Instagram?
Erin
Like around 350
Sam Laura Brown
So imagine in your audience, there are 350 of this photographer, maybe 349. If she follows you. You’re just talking to someone who is easy to work with, like, thinks your prices are great. Like all the things. If you were thinking about that, like that, that’s just see, like, visualize, there’s a room, a big room with 350 of the smiling like they’re ready. They’re clapping, they want it that like, they’re not like we kind of imagine that like, I don’t want this what like we’re just imagining this disgruntled audience. So of course, we’re not like, I can’t wait to post today. But if you imagine it’s a sea of your best clients, and they don’t just meet your ideal demographic, they’re literally already Yes.
Erin
Yeah. Wow, I was listening to the cable about it. And between you and Jenna, last week, right before I came on here, and I know you guys talked about like that physical feeling in your body after you say this. And I like felt lighter after you just said that, like, I physically felt lighter after you just said that, like, just imagine 350 of Jenn, like just sitting there in front of you smiling at you like that just feels so much different. And I’m so glad that the conversation went in this direction to you because I thought I thought that I needed to talk about the other client, but that this is really, this is actually what I needed to talk about. So thank you.
Like, it’s like this, when he looked at this, like the client stuff will just resolve itself. Yeah, yeah. This you won’t have it gave this stuff with the client work.
Yeah, that’s exactly what I was doing. I was I thought that it was like, well, like a sense of urgency, but I was definitely avoiding through doing that. But it felt good while avoiding so I didn’t like pieced that together.
Sam Laura Brown
Avoiding often feels really good. And it’s like anyone looking to be like, amazing, you’re doing great work with your client. Like, a lot of times avoidance is validated all these different things. And we don’t have to like it’s like with procrastination. We don’t have to get to zero procrastination. We don’t have to get to zero avoidance of anything. And like having to be super self aware and like never self sabotaging or whatever. But it’s just like, Oh, great. Now we’ve seen this. Where do we want to focus our attention? Knowing that there’s gonna be other things like this? Oh, wait, and that is not a problem.
Erin
Yeah, that makes so much sense.
Sam Laura Brown
So tell me what are your next steps?
Erin
My next step is to just regroup with myself about like, what my strategies are moving forward and make sure that I’m doing the things for myself and not allowing myself to avoid them through like the urgency with the client and things along those lines. Like just make sure that when I’m doing my power planning like I’m in Thinking through those obstacles, and then putting in my power planning my tasks and really committing to my tasks and keep it like keep working through that self trust issue too. And like sticking to the things that I need to do for myself also, even when they feel scary. Yeah.
Sam Laura Brown
And it’s like this little self trust issue. We’re just practicing self trust,
Erin
Right? Yes, that’s a much better way to wear it, I think do something that you said is.
Sam Laura Brown
Like, what I had is I need to regroup and like check in so I can trust myself. And so what would your next steps look like if you just already trusted, that you know, what’s important? And what’s not, and when to do things, instead of having to like, regroup and like had this whole system around being able to trust yourself.
Erin
I guess just jumping back into the things that I was doing. They were working. So just go back to like posting schedule that I had go back to, like sending out my monthly, like the other things that I was doing, were working, so just go back to doing them.
Sam Laura Brown
Yeah. And it’s like, even with this languaging of like going back to it. We just have to be careful with that. Because then it’s like this kind of like, well, you were doing well in the past. And then you want to have to get like back to how you used to be. But like, it’s just this whole murky thing. It’s like, No, we’re creating a new way. And it might look really similar to the past. But now when you’re posting, you’re not going to be thinking about your worst client who’s like, what are these prices? I don’t even know if I need a copy, right? Like, what is this? You’re getting everything about your photographer? who’s like, Fuck, yeah, I want this, Sign me up. How do I pay? Like, oh, here’s an idea. I tell them about this. And I tell them about this.
Erin
Yeah that feels really, really good. It feels really good.
Sam Laura Brown
And so when it comes to the schedules, I could what I can trust, the schedule I used to post on, I can just do that again. But it’s not like going back to it. Just continuing it, nothing’s gone wrong. Your brain, in fact, is working very well. And it’s like, oh, this is easy to just do this comfortable task that I know, I’m gonna get applause for. Yeah. So your brains working. And I was like, okay, I can see that, that I’ve been wanting to do that. And it’s been manifesting as like this drama around this client. And now I’m just going to be posting and talking to the person who wants it. And trusting that like, for example, whatever is top of mind is going to be what they need to hear that you can just like, share stuff, you could repurpose stuff, you’ve already shot like that, they just want to hear it, as I thinking about your audience and for all of us. And this is especially the case, if you have a small audience.
And they’re full of like, oh, just family and friends and people who don’t want it. If you’re thinking like that way about your audience, it’s so important to be thinking not like we can make, although it’s just factual, they just Oh, family and friends, whatever. Even though that’s not the case. And even though they might be family and friends, and they’re not with him for a copywriting, but they might know someone who isn’t because they actually don’t see Aaron just posting all the time about copywriting. And this person I coffee with one to one, to be on to ourselves about how we’re thinking about them and who we’re thinking is on the other end, and that they have a positive bias towards what we’re saying, like our best clients. If we make a mistake, or whatever, they’re gonna be like, Oh, no, but like, it’s like, if you love someone, and they do something that you don’t like, you’re like, Oh, well, that’s fine.
And I can forgive that. But we’re thinking of the people who are like nitpicking and just waiting for us to make a mistake and say something they don’t agree with. But they want like, they’re cheering for you, they want to work with you, they’re ready to sign up, they’re just waiting for the invitation. They agree with your prices, all of it. And then it changes. So when you think about the feeling stuff, and this is I was explaining the other day the money self coaching, when like for all of us, I want you all to think about this. And from this, how does it feel in your body? When you’re in the energy of I need to or I have to, versus I want to. And so when we think about the audience, being people who don’t want what we have, it’s I need to post I have to post I have to figure out how I can convince them we want to be thinking that consciously but that’s the energy we’re in. Versus if you’re thinking about your photographer and 350 of them it’s like I’m just want to share with you how does it feel in your body when you think about like I have to post.
I think that’s where that heaviness comes in. Like I just kind of like my stomach like knots up a little bit and I’m like, oh my god, like this just doesn’t feel like something that I want to do.
And where do you feel the heaviness? Is it in your chest? Is it in your throat like what does that feel like for you?
Erin
Yeah, I feel like it’s kind of like in that like gut area like my gut. Like, it’s like a gut feeling of not wanting to do it.
Sam Laura Brown
And then when you think about your photographer and 350 of them, how do you feel physically?
Erin
That’s gone? It’s like so much lighter. If I just say, and what are you feeling dead?
Sam Laura Brown
Because it was so interesting. When I was doing this. I was like, oh, did that just feel is gone? But I was like, no, but what actually, what sensation am I feeling if any? So for you, what is it? You can take a second look.
Erin
Okay I want to say the word airy. Like, I feel like open. Like just, there’s like a receiving energy, I think with that type of feeling like that. Yeah. Oh, like, open. I feel like I’m going like that. Because I feel like I get some feeling here. That’s why I’m like, in my chest and shoulder area, like it just like opens up.
Sam Laura Brown
Yeah. And so just being present to that. And even in your weekly review, reflecting on that, but like in the moment as well. So say, for example, we don’t want to be trying to be conscious that 24/7. But if you’re like, Okay, when I’m posting on social media, and I’m just going to be posted on that schedule again. I’m just gonna take a minute and get present to like, am I feeling that heavy feeling in my stomach? Or am I feeling in my chest like open and airy? And if you are feeling that heavy feeling to like, sit with that, and let that be that and also to then think it like to just know that that’s a little alarm bell, that you’re thinking about the people who don’t want what you have, even if they’re your ideal client, like a lot of the stuff that’s talked about ideal client misses out the pot about they want to work with you. They have the money, it’s worth it to them, all these things. It’s like, oh, no, they’re like 27 years old, and they have a business and whatever. It’s like, no, the most important thing is that they have the problem. You help them with. They want it. They want to work with you. The investment makes sense to them like. Yeah, yeah. That’s who we’re talking to. Yeah. like
Erin
I feel so much better. Thank you. Only not the direction exactly. Just know it all. So this was fantastic.
Outro
Okay, so I hope you enjoyed that coaching from inside perfectionist getting shit done. If you did, the next step is to get inside the program if you aren’t already in there. You are going to be able to not just learn and have me teach you how to get out of your own way in your business, how to plan properly as a perfectionist with power planning, how to set and pursue and achieve your growth goal for your business, how to actually get clean rest, how to bounce back from failure, how to troubleshoot when things aren’t working. So you don’t just spin out in a shame spiral. I’m going to teach you all of that. And also you’re going to have the support of the coaching calls. The coaching call replays the PGSD forum to ask questions, you’re gonna have lifetime access to the program. So if you have been getting in your own way, or maybe you’ve been in a slump, then the program is going to be the next best step for you. So you can find out more and sign up today at samlaurabrown.com/pjsd. I hope you’re having a beautiful day and I will talk to you in the next episode.