Podcast

Episode 505: How To Mentally Switch Off Over The Holidays Even If Your Business Isn’t Where You Want It To Be

Episode 361: [Planning Series] How To Power Plan In 3 Simple Steps

In today’s episode I’m sharing 3 practical strategies you can use to help you mentally switch off over the holidays even if you love working and really struggle to rest. You’ll also learn why taking time off will increase your productivity, the practice I’ve recently started using to get the highest quality rest for my brain even when I’m busy and why you might need to increase how much ‘me time’ you’ve got planned even if it’s uncomfortable to ask for it.

Find the full episode transcript and show notes at samlaurabrown.com/episode505.

What To Do Next

If you’re ready to get out of your own way in your business, you want to join my productivity program for perfectionists who are building businesses called Perfectionists Getting Shit Done. Click here to find out more about the program and join the waitlist today: samlaurabrown.com/pgsd.

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FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Introduction

Hi, and welcome to another episode of The Perfectionism Project, a podcast full of perfectionism advice for entrepreneurs. My name is Sam Laura Brown. I help entrepreneurs release their perfectionism handbrake so they can get out of their own way and build a fulfilling and profitable business. I’m the founder of the Perfectionists Getting Shit Done group coaching program, which is otherwise known as PGSD. And for even more perfectionism advice to help you with your business, you can follow me on Instagram @perfectionismproject.

Sam Laura Brown – (Start of episode)

[00:00:28] I am so happy to be bringing you today’s episode. I’m going to be talking about clean rest specifically for the holidays, regardless of if you’re working or not working, if you’re celebrating Christmas, new year, or you’re not, it’s just a topic that I’ve been talking about with quite a few of my one on one coaching clients.

[00:00:47] And Also talking about inside Perfectionists Getting Shit Done as well. And also thinking about from a personal perspective and then having conversations with friends about it as well. It just seems to be something that is the top of mind for a lot of entrepreneurs and business owners. Is I want to have time off and actually enjoy that time off But I also like working and there are things I want to be working on And like in my situation i’ve been like I feel like I have momentum and like I want to keep that momentum going So i’ll talk about that too but What do you do if you want to rest, but you have a hard time switching off?

[00:01:27] So that’s what I want to talk about with you in today’s episode, because it is something that I have become very skilled at. I coach on a lot and I have some really helpful things to say about it, especially if you’re a perfectionist and you have a business, but you’re a perfectionist and you generally speaking, feel guilty or restless.

[00:01:49] When you are resting and taking time off, you feel like you should be doing something more productive and then you have a lot of pressure as well with any rest time that you have because you should be using that really well because you don’t get much of it or like all those different things. So I’m going to be talking about all of that amongst this.

[00:02:06] So what I wanted to share too as well is I mentioned about just like having this feeling of momentum and I’m going to do some like Year recap episodes and things like that coming up in about the next week So i’ll share more about that then but I have just been feeling like I have i’m back in my groove.

[00:02:27] Like I feel like myself again. I have momentum And it has been after really challenging What feels like and I think is two years in business And I think such a big part of that too. I mean, there’s many reasons but But a big part of it has been like the untie my hands from behind my back that I’ve been doing.

[00:02:48] I did an episode on that just like the mindset work that i’ve been doing and just like falling back in love with And also working with one on one coaching clients. I just like as of about a month ago now I have started signing one on one coaching clients again and working with people privately one on one specifically around Overcoming the perfectionism that is stopping you from selling and showing up and making sales and like Having the plans that you follow through on actually convert into sales and into revenue and into profit that my program PGSD Perfectionists Getting Shit Done.

[00:03:24] We’re going to do a launch at the end of january. I’ve been getting a few questions about that, too So PGSD is to help you go from Procrastinating overthinking like getting in your own way in terms of taking action, you know what to do, but you’re just not doing it You PGSD has you doing those things without burning out.

[00:03:42] It’s really about getting you to that place where you’re able to actually trust yourself and rely on yourself when it comes to taking action. And when it comes to the one on one coaching I’m doing. that this is then what comes next when you are following through with your plans. And naturally what will happen when you start taking more action is you will start making more sales and seeing an increase in your revenue, which is amazing.

[00:04:08] And then at a certain point, you actually need to do the work on overcoming the perfectionism that is stopping you from selling or making the sales that you could be. And to be able to do what I like to call self trust selling. to sell in a way that’s in alignment and that helps you be more of yourself, not less of yourself.

[00:04:26] And it’s also very effective as well. So I’m so happy to actually be getting to coach people on that really specifically. And just like the work I’ve already done with my one on one clients has been incredible and just seeing like how even like the first call we do, it’s a two hour call. And just like people being like, I have been confused about my niche and my messaging and my branding for nine months.

[00:04:50] And we like. solved it all in 15 minutes within that two hour call, like stuff like that. I just feel so grateful that I am a coach, that this gets to be a thing that I can do. And I just feel so connected to coaching and I love having a program in PGSD and like there’s so much power in seeing other people getting coached so much.

[00:05:13] And I also love one on one coaching. And I’m so happy to be doing one on one coaching again and specifically to have it be around the work that comes after PGSD and helping you have like the plans you’re actually following through on. Having them convert into sales and having that be really reliable and predictable and feel in your control.

[00:05:34] I’ve learned so many lessons on that. I have a lot of expertise on that as well. So I’m just so happy to be doing that. And I do have a couple of spots open. And they have been filling, they have been filling quite fast. So if you are wanting to work with me privately, especially in the new year, samlaurabrown.com/coaching is where to go. If you love the podcast, like if, if you can relate to this and you can follow through with your plans, you’re at this point, you’ve overcome the perfectionism around productivity specifically. It’s not perfect, but you are now generally taking action. Next up is sales and I’d love to help you with that and just like be your personal coach So with that said let’s talk about clean rest over the holidays mentally switching off and a few things that can really Help with that.

[00:06:22] I’m going to talk about three things specifically the first is doing an annual review and New Year planning but particularly the annual review So if you’re already inside PGSD, we have just done I did it this week. I led an annual review Call and we did it together as a community. We do that every year Inside PGSD.

[00:06:45] So that will guide you through a process. But what you want to do really, and it can just take an hour, you could spend a whole day doing it. I really encourage you not to think of it as like such a big deal and it needs to be this big thing. But what you really want to do with this is particularly focus on celebrating and finding sufficiency.

[00:07:06] Our perfectionist brains just want to see everything that isn’t working, everything that needs to be fixed, everything that’s a problem, all these improvement projects. Like most perfectionists that I work with, like every area of their business within that there’s like A million different things that they’re like, well, I want to improve my website.

[00:07:25] I want to have more followers and I want to make this landing page better. And then I want to update all these different things. Everything needs an update. Everything isn’t good enough. And what we really want to do, particularly if you’ve had a hard year, but also particularly if you’ve had a successful year, because I have had A lot of successful years where I didn’t celebrate and then I didn’t get to internalize the shifts I’d made as my normal.

[00:07:50] And then I didn’t replicate that success or it was really, really hard to because I didn’t celebrate and therefore. really begin to embody like this is normal for me. This is something that I did. This is something that I can now do again. If we don’t celebrate, then we don’t get to really identify with it.

[00:08:09] And so it actually makes us accomplish less. If we don’t celebrate, we like to think, well, if I celebrate, I’m going to get complacent. I’m going to think I’m more successful than I am, and I’m not going to be motivated. No, you will be less successful because you won’t identify with the success you’ve created and therefore you won’t create more success.

[00:08:27] You’ll be living your life and building your business as a person who’s not successful. You will make unsuccessful decisions. You will do unsuccessful things with your time because of your view of yourself that you aren’t successful. And I see this so often I’ve done it myself where You are actually successful, but your view is that you’re not just because you’re not at the optimal place you want to be, but you are sufficiently successful, but you’re not allowing yourself to identify with that.

[00:08:53] And so you’re living your life like you’re a failure and you’re creating more failure from that identity of being a failure. So what we want to have you do, if you’re in PGSD, go do the annual review call. If you’re not in PGSD yet, I highly recommend joining us in January, samlaurabrown.com/coaching is where you can go to sign up, but I recommend Reflecting on what are your wins from this year?

[00:09:18] What do you want to celebrate from this year? Where is the sufficiency? And I was just talking about this today in the new year planning call that we did inside PGSD About how our perfectionist brains With the all or nothing of the mindset is that we go, well, if something’s not perfect, if it’s not optimal, it’s inadequate, it’s either perfect or inadequate.

[00:09:41] And there’s actually a place between that many places, but one of them is sufficiency where things are good enough, where they’re possible. And we need to train our brains to see that. Otherwise we will just be seeing only insufficiency. We’ll be overwhelmed by everything that needs to be improved. And we will actually end up improving things that don’t need it.

[00:10:01] Ask me how I know I’ve learned this the hard way.

[00:10:04] So we want to have you celebrating and really finding that sufficiency and I know you’re listening to this and you’re like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Get onto the next thing. I don’t want to do that. This is it. This is so, so, so important. You’re not able to switch off because you think you’re unsuccessful.

[00:10:24] That is the bottom line in your brain all the time. You’re trying to fix things that aren’t working. You’re trying to get from inadequacy to adequacy. And yet there is so much adequacy, so much sufficiency right under your nose that you aren’t seeing, you aren’t celebrating it, you aren’t acknowledging it, you aren’t paying it any attention.

[00:10:44] And so it is really hard to switch off when you feel like you’re failing, even especially when you’re not actually failing. And even if you are having a hard time, there are lots of things that are working. You will be Less successful if you don’t acknowledge them. Not more successful because you’ll be so much more motivated from all the disappointment or all the discontentment.

[00:11:09] No, you will achieve less if you don’t actually find that sufficiency and celebrate what is working and celebrate the progress, celebrate the wins, and it will be hard like your perfectionist brain will not want to do this. I have really had to train my brain, and I still have work to do on this, but train my brain to celebrate.

[00:11:30] Train my brain to see sufficiency versus it’s either perfect or it’s inadequate. If I didn’t hit 100 percent of my goal, if I didn’t have the exact experience that I wanted to have, if I had all these failures along the way, then it was, it wasn’t okay. It should be better. It could be better. Especially if you’re like me, you love personal development.

[00:11:49] They like, no, I just love growing and improving. And like, part of that is seeing all of this insufficiency. And I actually saw, I think it was an Instagram reel the other day that was just like, You know, you say you’re self aware and I think there’s a good chance if you’ll see to this, you’ll be able to relate.

[00:12:07] You say you’re self aware but if you’re not actually aware and self aware about the things that are going well and the things that you’re good at and your strengths, you’re not really self aware. Like being self aware isn’t just you’re self aware about insufficiency and what needs to be improved. Part of being self aware is being self aware about where you don’t actually need to improve or where it isn’t a needle mover for you to improve.

[00:12:33] And the things that you are skilled at, the things that you can do well, all of the things that you have going for you, all of the things that you have accomplished, all of the wins, that is part of self awareness. You don’t get to call yourself self aware if you only have awareness around things that aren’t working.

[00:12:51] That is not self awareness. So we want to do that. Annual review is a great way to do that. Reflecting on the wins, Also then reflecting on failures or things that didn’t go to plan. And then in that annual review call, we went through brain dumping all of that and then pulling out specific lessons and making sure when you are looking at a failure, that you are bringing the context with the lesson that you aren’t just saying a blanket, like, well, I should never do that again, but looking at, okay, what’s the context around that.

[00:13:27] So just to give an example, um, One of our PGSD’s was saying that she launched an online course for her business earlier in the year she invested like I think it was maybe 10 to 20 grand worth of labor in like her and her team getting it all created and all of that and then she launched it and no one signed up and so I said to her you don’t want to have the lesson from that be that I should never Do it that way again, or I should never do an online course.

[00:13:53] And I was saying to her, my favorite way to do it is, you know, enough to write the sales page and then you sell it. And then once you have that product market fit, then you create it. And of course you do that with something that you know you can deliver on, but that is the way I create things. That’s the way a lot of people do it.

[00:14:10] And I was like the lesson though isn’t like you always have to do it that way and you can never do it the way you did it but it’s okay in this context where we actually maybe didn’t do enough research and not like you know googling and that kind of research but like we didn’t actually ask people what we wanted to do.

[00:14:26] They wanted from us, we didn’t have sufficient interest. We didn’t test if there was sufficient interest. We just thought people would really like this. I think this is something that we could create and we just created it without really testing that, like maybe that was more of the failure rather than like, Oh, well, I shouldn’t have done it where I create the course ahead of time, for example.

[00:14:44] Cause I was like, there might be a time in your business where that makes complete sense to do it that way. And so we want to bring the context with it. So I just want to say that as well, because with our perfectionist brains, We can make these sweeping all or nothing statements about like I never want to do it that way again or I always have to do it this way versus we want to be especially when analyzing the failure and the lessons from it.

[00:15:08] We want to be more specific and more nuanced and bring the context with the lesson, not just having it be a blanket rule. If the lesson is like that, I should trust myself. Like, it’s a good thing to do that. That can be more general, but if it’s a really specific thing, which I recommend bring the context.

[00:15:26] The next thing I want to talk about, this has been a game changer for me with my clean rest. I have been practicing this a lot recently. I’d say in the last month in particular, and I’ve talked to quite a few people about it and they’ve just been like, Oh my God. That makes so much sense. I’m going to do that.

[00:15:41] So I want to share it with you because it might be a really good thing for you to do as well. So just to back up, zoom out for a second, I teach and created a concept called clean rest, which is when you are resting without feeling guilty. The nuance here, because I know you might be listening. If you haven’t heard me talk about it, or even if you had of like, yeah, but I feel guilty when I rest.

[00:16:03] That’s what we’re working towards to not feel guilty. It doesn’t mean when you start clean rest, you won’t feel guilty because your brain is thinking thoughts that produce a feeling of guilt because of thought errors that you have that you shouldn’t be resting, or it’s wrong to rest, or it’s wrong to not be productive and all these different things.

[00:16:20] So in the beginning, it’s going to especially be very uncomfortable to rest. So all we’re doing with clean rest And you’ll plan this in your power planning as well. I teach power planning in PGSD. You’ll plan it in your power planning. Clean rest is time where you’re just saying like, I’m not allowed to work during this time.

[00:16:37] It’s flexible planning method. You can update that as you go, but we just want to have time where you’re saying like, I couldn’t work even if I wanted to, so I may as well switch off. If you’re trying to be always working all the time, it’s really hard to switch off one. And also you’re not that productive when you’re working because you’re going into your work time being mentally exhausted from all the brain work that you’re doing.

[00:17:00] Even if you’re like with your family or you’re at the spa or you’re reading a book or whatever, you’re still mentally always working on your business. So then when it gets to business time, You haven’t missed your business. I love like absence makes the heart grow fonder. I like to miss my business. So you haven’t missed your business at all.

[00:17:20] So there isn’t that like fondness, so to speak. Um, but also your brain is just tired from always having to be on. We want to be able to switch off so you can fully switch on. So what you might find is if that you aren’t getting clean rest and you aren’t mentally switching off, Then when it comes to your work time, you are doing a lot of productive procrastination.

[00:17:42] You find yourself often in indecision and not actually being able to like make decisions and move yourself forward. If you have something that might require a bit more courage or it’s a bit more tedious to do that you tend to put off those things in particular that you are when it gets your work day, you’re doing like the easy wins.

[00:18:00] So you might be like checking email, checking social media, like. typically like a lot of checking or just like really reacting to everything around you. Like just being very responsive because you don’t actually have the mental energy to do the harder things or to have the harder conversations. So our brain’s like, okay, well I got to be productive because if I’m not, I should be guilty because that’s wrong.

[00:18:23] But I don’t have the energy because I haven’t rested. Your brain actually needs rest. I haven’t rested my brain. I haven’t got any brain rest. So I don’t actually have the energy. mentally, emotionally to do the things that I need to do to do the needle movers. So I will just do the other things. And especially I hear this all the time, like, Oh, I just love like getting the little things ticked off first.

[00:18:49] And then I can get to the big stuff and yet you never get a little things ticked off. So there’s lots of really important reasons that as a perfectionist, if you want to increase your productivity and get better business results, revenue, profit, team satisfaction, your own personal satisfaction. Clean rest is really important.

[00:19:11] Like I sold myself on clean rest by seeing how it was tied to my productivity and that didn’t make me less productive. It actually made me more productive when I was always trying to work. I tended to waste my work time when I had set times to do it. And then I had times where I wasn’t allowed to do it just with myself, not this strict thing.

[00:19:31] But for me, when I was like, I’m not actually allowed to work on the weekend. Even if I’m twiddling my thumbs, I was like, okay, well I better get it done this week. Instead of going, I’ll do it tonight, I’ll do it tomorrow morning, I’ll do it tomorrow night, I’ll do it the next morning. It was like, well actually no.

[00:19:46] I have this time frame to get it done. And with power planning too, you get to really see the opportunity cost of procrastination and things like that. It’s really powerful, but that is why we do clean rest. And I just want to share with that something, as I said, that I’ve been doing recently that has been really powerful for me and has really helped me get even higher quality, clean rest.

[00:20:09] Also want to mention, if you didn’t know, I’m a mom of three little ones, a three and a half year old, and then twin sons, um, who are almost two years old. Um, so a lot of my clean rest time, I am not sitting around reading a book, going to the spa. I’m not really a spa person anyway. I wouldn’t be doing that, but like my clean rest time when I’m not working on the business, I am actively doing other things like looking after the kids or having family time and things like that.

[00:20:38] It’s all about the brain rest. It’s all about also being able to be present when you’re resting with whatever’s going on, not just constantly thinking about your business. In your brain. So if you’re like, I don’t really get this like clean rest because I have such a busy life outside of the business. I get it.

[00:20:56] We’re talking about your brain here, not like physical rest necessarily. So with that said, here’s the thing that I want to share with clean rest. What I have found is that particularly when I was feeling like I wasn’t where I wanted to be business wise. I was feeling like a failure and like all of this.

[00:21:17] And I’ve, I’ll talk about this more in the recaps that I do, but I’ve mentioned this on past episodes and at the top of this episode, like why celebration is so important. Like circumstantially I was successful in my identity. I wasn’t actually owning that. And I was feeling like I was failing and that there were so many things that needed to be fixed.

[00:21:35] And I just wanted to get the business back to where I knew it could be. And like all of this stuff. And so what I was finding is that I was wanting to add extra work time to my week because I had so much to do. There was so much to fix. I had so much I had to work on. And also then when I was resting, I wasn’t really switching off mentally the same way that I was previously, that I was constantly working on the business in my brain, trying to figure out signups for our launches, for example, like different things like that, just like all just in my head Just telling myself how things weren’t going well and just.

[00:22:13] essentially focusing on all the things that I didn’t want more of and just repeating that in my head and just focusing on that. So what I started doing that really, really, really helped and made a difference. And this is something that I also used to do, but without really realizing it is what I have been doing is resting as the person who is successful and has achieved my goals that I have.

[00:22:38] So like whatever the current goal is that I’m working on or like would be trying to fix in my brain, I actually just rest as the person who has achieved that already. So to give a specific example, for me the next like big milestone revenue wise that I have for my business is to make a million dollars within a 12 month time period.

[00:23:02] And so when I am resting, instead of resting as a person who hasn’t achieved that yet and should have achieved that now and doesn’t know how to get there, et cetera, I rest as the person who has a million dollar per year business. And I literally tell myself, and I know that if you haven’t practiced delusion in this way, it might sound really weird.

[00:23:24] It’s so powerful. I’m living. My past delusions are now my rock solid reality. Like I have so much to say about delusion, but you have to be willing to feel delusional. It is really smart to delude yourself. For lots of reasons, but with this, so what I do is I literally delude myself. If you will, I act as if I’m the person who has achieved the goal that I have.

[00:23:48] And I literally will tell myself, like, as I’m walking around the house or like getting dressed in the morning, the circumstances that I want to have. And this in the manifestation world is called scripting, but it’s kind of like saying it in my head to myself. Literally, like as if it’s the truth, like the sky is blue.

[00:24:07] I have a million dollar per year business. Like just saying it in that matter of fact, tone present tense. And then what I do, and I’ve practiced delusion a lot. It’s a really powerful mindset tool. And if you’ve had any kind of success, you will know how to use this tool. It’s really like, it’s a prerequisite.

[00:24:27] You’ve got to suspend, like disconnect a little bit from your current, current reality and. Start to engage with the reality that you want in order to create it. So I will literally tell myself those things. I have a 1 million per year business. I’m booked out with one on one coaching clients and have a waitlist with, I can’t remember how many people I say, I have a long waitlist of people waiting to work with me one on one, like all these different things we have.

[00:24:56] X number of signups for a PGSD launch. It’s like, I go through all of the different things and they don’t even have to like all be cohesive or whatever, or be exact. So if you don’t like, I don’t know exactly what goal I want to have or whatever. Doesn’t matter if you’re like, I just want to have a full time income from my business.

[00:25:14] I’m working full time in my business. This is a day off that i’m having Whatever like just it’s actually just telling yourself the story that you want to be in And so I have been finding A couple of things. One, when I do this, the quality of clean rest that I get is incredibly high. Even if I have a busy day, if I’m looking after the kids by myself, for example, that the way I’m able to switch off, because now there’s nothing to solve.

[00:25:39] There’s nothing to fix. There’s no like big gap to fill and I’m feeling behind and whatever. Like I’m then resting as a person who is on top of it. I’m like, okay, well, then what do I want to do with my time? First of all, versus like, what should I do with my precious non business time that I barely get any of and I shouldn’t be having because I should be working to fix the business.

[00:26:00] It’s okay. What I want to do with this time. I’m just so much more relaxed. I’m just like, cool. Well, I’m successful. It’s working. So I’m just going to rest accordingly versus, well, I have to get the business to that place and then I’ll rest because this is what happens. So. When I started doing this and really experimenting with this and playing around with it and like being active about it, what I found was the quality of my clean rest really increased no matter what circumstances I had going on, no matter how much physical rest I was getting, my brain was so much more well rested.

[00:26:36] Even though it felt like a delusion, it was actually a lot more in alignment with reality. than what I was seeing because of the perfectionist brain. Our brain just overly focuses on insufficiency and imperfection. And so it actually is more realistic that I view myself as a successful person than an unsuccessful one.

[00:27:00] So there’s that. But resting in that way, what I would find is that then when I would get to my work time, the ideas, the execution, like I was just able to be productive and create momentum in a way that I couldn’t when during my rest time I was so busy feeling like a failure and resting like I’m a person with a failing business and trying to fix it in my head and maybe I should listen to this, maybe I should listen to that, and what does this person think, like all of that to just be like, I know what I’m doing and I can trust myself to ask for help if I need it, to get the guidance I need if I need it.

[00:27:37] But I found that when I came back to the business time, I would just have like the quality of ideas was way higher. Productivity was way up. Momentum has been way up. Courage, way up. all of that way up from resting in this way and just mentally diluting myself in a really helpful, positive way. And so I just want to say with this too, if you are the person, very common for perfectionists, if you are the person who is like, No, I like to be realistic.

[00:28:12] I’m, I’m just a realist. Like, I don’t want to be delusional about anything. You are delusional right now. You are delusional for thinking you’re failing. You are delusional for thinking that there’s this like massive problem because of your perfectionist brain that is not Currently trained to see sufficiency and success and you haven’t been celebrating and you haven’t been resting So you are actually delusional in the way you’re currently viewing yourself and to delude yourself in the way i’m talking about would be more Realistic than what you’re currently doing I love like and this is what really got me on board with like being willing to disconnect from my reality and create a new one mentally and then create a new one physically is to understand how our brains work and that they have very poor perceptors of what’s actually real and true.

[00:29:04] The way our brains filter information, I won’t go into it too much in this episode, but we have our reticular activating system in our brain that is constantly just looking for evidence to confirm what we believe. It distorts reality. Google it. It’s scientific. Our brain is constantly distorting, generalizing, deleting bits of information out in reality to confirm what we already believe to be true.

[00:29:30] The way you are perceiving reality. When you say, I’m just a realist, I just want to be realistic. You actually aren’t being realistic because your brain isn’t designed to be. It interprets and perceives reality. And so what you need to do, if you want to create a new reality, Is you need to create one mentally first in your imagination And then you will act accordingly with that you will be the person who can create that So I love resting in that way and for those of you who are already on board with that who already Love the world of manifestation.

[00:30:03] You love mindset. You love personal development You love the idea that you can rewire your brain and neuroplasticity like all of that This is just a way to apply it to your rest time And to just, I just recommend trying it the next time that you’re resting or you have time off, whether you want to or not, you might be at a family, a family function and you don’t want to be there, but to just be like, Hey, how would I approach?

[00:30:27] Like, what would I be thinking if I had already achieved my business goals? if I was where I wanted to be. And the final thing I’ll say on this point, then I’ll move on to the next one, is that I have found if I do think about my business while I’m resting, which I do, then I’m thinking about what’s next after my current goals from this really sufficient, expansive place.

[00:30:54] Like, okay, well, if we’re having this amount of revenue and like this is happening in our launches and with one on one coaching, then what do I want to work on? Like not from this like pressure, you kind of need to figure out what the plan is or the roadmap is, or like there’s this problem to fix. It’s just like getting to be in the daydreaming and the vision side of things.

[00:31:13] If you’re like a visionary, which I never used to identify with, but I definitely am one, that you have that that vision and you do really well with like the bigger picture and all of that kind of stuff. Having time to like when you’re resting to be dreaming about it from a place of achievement not from a place of like well hopefully one day I’ll be able to get there but like well look at all this that I’ve accomplished now what do I want to do?

[00:31:39] Now, what might be next and just like loosely considering it, I’ve just found that really fun as well. And that just fuels as well, the way that I can show up then in my business time and create those results. Because as that vision gets clearer and clearer and clearer in my brain, and as I spend more time engaging with it and just like being in that place of sufficiency, as I am daydreaming or envisaging.

[00:32:03] just like the quality of everything I do, including like how I show up for my family, how I take care of myself personally, like all of that increases. I have not seen a downside. My problem solving ability increases, not decreases. I’m not like, Oh, delusional. There’s nothing that I need to work on. I actually, when I rest this way, I can pinpoint so much better.

[00:32:26] The thing that actually needs to be worked on instead of the things that are comfortable to work on that don’t actually need improvement. So that’s point number two. And point number three, I actually got coaching on this myself personally this morning. And I want to share with you as well what came out of it, because this might be something that you need to look at for yourself as well.

[00:32:45] So what I was saying, On this coaching call is that I’m super sold on rest I’m, I know how to mentally switch off and all of that and I just feel like because today’s my last work day Before christmas and all of that that I just feel this desire to like not actually complete things Even though I I have the time and ability to complete them And even though the kids are going to be home from daycare next week and things like that, that I just feel this desire to keep working.

[00:33:15] And I have momentum and I like, don’t want to lose the momentum. But then I coached myself the other day on like how taking time off only compounds that momentum, which I deeply believe. So that’s all good. Plus like, what’s this about? So what came up and where I got to with this coaching, which was so helpful was like, actually, I just also within my time off.

[00:33:37] Just need to schedule some me time some time where I’m not in business mode And i’m not in mom mode and I just get to be me And I love spending time with my kids and my family and I love spending time working And also I love spending time like just if I want to read a book I can if I want to go for a walk I can and because with my current life circumstances that takes Organizing, like having someone look after the kids or like saying to Steve, my husband, is it okay?

[00:34:06] Like just feeling like I need to ask for help. And like, which I get a lot of help, but it just also feels uncomfortable to ask for help. I’ve gotten. So much more skilled at that and like increased my emotional capacity around that so much which has really been so helpful But it’s still like okay. Well, I could see that I actually wanted to one of the main reasons that I wanted to have some work to do Was because then that’s almost like an easy way to have me time even though it’s not me time.

[00:34:39] It’s me working but Because I hadn’t actually planned in the time that I’m going to have off, I haven’t planned really like any intentional me time that, and it just kind of like fit around, like when no one else wants anything from me, then I can have my me time. Because of that, then I’m actually just trying to get that me time from working versus actually just directly planning what that me time would be.

[00:35:04] And I know that as well, like when I had the twins and when I was postpartum that I think part of the reason I returned to work when I did was because I wanted that me time and I feel like I didn’t have the emotional capacity or awareness to ask for it. without not having like a The justification of all i’m working that it felt easier to ask for like can we organize things so I can have a work day?

[00:35:30] Versus can we organize things so I can have a day of just doing nothing and so i’ve come a long way with that Asking for help and doing so when there isn’t like a specific event or it’s for working or whatever But I feel like for me. This is like the next part of that growth is proactively organizing that and If I need to do any self coaching or get coaching on any thoughts I have about like, well, it should be family time and I should be available for everyone.

[00:35:56] And like all of that, that I know I show up as the best me when I also get to have some mean time. And I also want to create permission just through my actions for my husband, for my friends, for my clients as well. Like you don’t have to just be in family time for every minute that you’re not working.

[00:36:14] You can actually have other kinds of time. And. That it gives everyone else as well permission just through witnessing that to be like, okay Well just because we’re all available or whatever doesn’t mean I have to be Available too and I can actually have this time and it doesn’t have to be because I have a lunch It doesn’t have to be because I have a dinner.

[00:36:33] It doesn’t have to be Because I have work I can actually just say Hey, I just want to have a little bit of time. I don’t even know what I want to do with the time, but I just want to have a bit of time to just be. So that’s what I’m going to be organizing during my time off and like intentionally having that.

[00:36:52] Cause I could tell as soon as I actually thought about having that time. And even though it feels like, Oh, it’s hard to organize or whatever. It’s not that hard. It’s emotionally. Hard it’s not actually physically hard. It’s just like sending a text message having a conversation Like there might be a bit of back and forth, but really it’s just like it feels emotionally hard To do it, but it’s so worthwhile And as soon as I thought about putting that in my calendar and like having that plan It sounds like oh my desire to work decreased because then I didn’t have to work to get the me time.

[00:37:27] I could actually just get it in a much more direct way. And that is definitely a skill and an emotional capacity that I want to have. And I want to lead by example as well. Cause I know almost everyone I know personally and also client wise, especially if they have little ones or a family. Or things like that commitments that they feel like I have to be available to everyone and I’ll fit me around everything else And so I want to be an example of what it looks like to not have it be that way And how it can be so much better.

[00:37:58] I think we all intellectually understand It’s better for everyone if you get to fill your own cup if you get that me time, especially if you’re An introvert or someone who likes solo time and recharges from that, that you actually get that time. It’s better for everyone. It gives them permission to like, it’s not just a selfish thing.

[00:38:16] And even if it is a selfish thing, it’s okay to do selfish things. So there’s all of that as well. So I just wanted to offer that. And, um, it’s just something that was like the missing piece for me that I was like, okay, Yes, this will help me mentally switch off. And finally, just on that note, because recently I had like a morning where I could just be, Steve was like, do you want me to take the kids?

[00:38:42] I was like, Oh my God, yes, that would be amazing. Thank you so much. And so I was like, Initially, like what should I do with this precious time that I have and finding myself putting so much pressure on like what’s the perfect way to use it from this place of scarcity of like I don’t have time like this very often but even so when I felt like before I had kids and all I still would do this with myself that like I need to use this time really wisely and it just felt like business wise this is another thing too.

[00:39:14] Business wise, it’s so much clearer what there is to do, what there is to work on to get a sense of satisfaction and progress and all of that. Whereas a lot of time for many of us in our personal lives, we don’t have such a clear like things we want to do. You might have like a lot of different projects you’ve kind of half finished and like, then you’ve gotten stuck or like whatever.

[00:39:33] There’s just other factors and that it doesn’t feel as easy to be accomplished in your personal life, perhaps as it does in your business. So there’s that. But I was just like, Like, what should I do with this precious time? And then I was like, okay, I can feel myself putting pressure on myself. This is making me not decide anything.

[00:39:50] And then I’m going to waste the time. So I can, I have the awareness to, to play that out ahead of time and see that. So like, okay, what do I want to do with this time? Not what should I do? Not what would be productive or like a perfect use of this scarce time I have, but what do I want to do? And again, it comes back to like resting as a person who is not just where they want to be business wise, but also where they want to be.

[00:40:15] personal life wise, not to say not to work on personal projects and things in your normal work time, but having some rest time where you’re like, I’m on top of my business and I’m where I want to be in my life. If that was true, I’m going to step into that reality. Then what do I want to do? And so that day I was like, I want to go for a long walk, a bushwalk with cotton.

[00:40:35] I want to listen to a podcast, like a personal development podcast. And then I want to journal. And I was like, that’s such a uneventful thing to say. And it’s nothing groundbreaking. Cause I had a million different little projects. Like I could move this forward. I could move that forward. And to just be like, you know what, I just am really craving kind of like what I used to do pre having the kids that I like did quite a lot of that I haven’t done as much of, of like, I just want to go for a long bushwalk.

[00:41:06] Not that long, like an hour, hour and a half and not be in a rush to get back or just do that And then I just want to journal if I want to and I was just like I’ll just see whatever I feel like doing I’ll just do that. There’s no pressure There’s no like I have to use this time perfectly and I had like it really built a lot of momentum for me that morning I was just like just letting myself be me resting as the person who and I wasn’t even You I don’t know why I’m consciously thinking about it then, but like resting is the person who was where they wanted to be doing in my rest time just what I felt like doing and what I wanted to do.

[00:41:42] It was just, I just felt so reconnected with myself through that. And that’s what I really want to invite you into is, That connection with yourself, it might not be through a bushwalk and journaling. It might be through something completely different, but just like, time where the pressure’s off. And if you’re someone who tends to stay up late at night and like, fluff around and you plan to go to bed at 10 and then 11 and then 12 and then 1 and you like, fluff around in the evenings, if this is you, you’ll know what I’m talking about.

[00:42:13] It’s because that’s the time of day that you take the pressure off yourself to have to be productive. And you rest in the way I’m talking about of just like doing whatever you feel like. And so if you actually can plan in that time at other times, then you don’t have to do it in a way that goes against being able to trust yourself and like breaking a promise with yourself in order to get that rest.

[00:42:36] Because if you do actually want to get to bed at a certain time and wake up at a certain time and do other things, it’s so powerful to be able to be like, I do also want pressure free rest. And so I’m going to just directly get that versus once I stay up late and everyone else is asleep, then it feels like the pressure’s off and I can actually just rest and recharge.

[00:42:57] I’m going to actually get that in an intentional way versus in this unintentional passive way that is also then depleting my self trust because I promised myself I’d get to bed and here I am again, not getting to bed. And so now I can’t rely on myself the way that I want to be able to. So I know I’ve shared a lot of different things around resting, around switching off.

[00:43:17] I hope it’s helpful to hear about. The main thing I want you to try is just rest as the person who has achieved the goal that you’re currently working towards. Business wise and ideally personal life wise. Schedule in some me time, whatever that looks like for you. Have the, the hard conversation if it’s emotionally challenging to ask for help.

[00:43:39] To consider doing that, to know that your future self will thank you for doing that. And even if no one says yes, even if you can’t organize it, the fact that you are fighting for that and owning that that is something that you want and you’re working towards figuring that out is so powerful in terms of like connecting with yourself and building that self trust.

[00:43:57] And then icing on the cake, cherry on top to do an annual review, to identify the wins, to celebrate, to pull out the lessons from those. So important to take lessons from wins. Oh my God, so important. I would have saved myself a lot of pain if I’d started doing that sooner. So do that. Then you can look at failures and mistakes, take the lessons from that with context and with a lot of grace and self compassion.

[00:44:24] And also, and this is why I highly recommend power planning is decide ahead of time. when you’re going to be working, if you are going to be working and when you’re not going to be working. If you’re fuzzy on that, I’ll try and fit a couple of hours in at some point over the holidays. No, this is almost so much harder to do when you’re like that it’s I’m going to do it at this time on this day.

[00:44:48] And power planning really supports you with this and like really helps me with the switching off because I know when i’m working and When i’m not versus i’m chipping away at a long to do list or like my email inbox So that will really support it as well If you’re not power planning yet, just at least deciding ahead of time.

[00:45:04] This is specifically when i’m going to do these specific things with some flexibility in there buffer time, but this is specifically when it’s going to happen versus I’ll try to fit in a couple hours of work or this task or get back to this person at some point over the weekend. Oh, it is just so hard to mentally switch off.

[00:45:25] Don’t do that to yourself. Especially not over the holidays Decide when you will do it and then know you can switch your brain off until that time comes so with that said Merry christmas for those who celebrate and Happy well now i’ll talk to you before the new year on the podcast. I’ll share my Recap my updates and things like that.

[00:45:47] If you’re interested to hear personally What i’ve been up to what i’ve been working on It has been an incredible year and a lot of Lessons learned a lot of wins as well I’ve done my sufficiency work to pull out like it has been a very successful year in many many ways Even though my brain along the way has told me it hasn’t been it has been And i’ve just come out like this I just feel like the wisest I ever have been, the most empowered I ever have been.

[00:46:19] I just feel so much more like myself than I have in the last couple of years. I just feel like I have remembered who I am. If that makes sense. So it’s fun to share an update from that place. And that’ll be coming to you soon. But in the meantime, I hope you’re having a beautiful day. If you want to sign up for one on one coaching link will be in show notes as well as the PGSD wait list.

[00:46:43] And I think that’s it. I’ll talk to you in the next episode. Bye.

Outro

If you enjoy this podcast, I recommend signing up for the waitlist for my program called Perfectionists Getting Shit Done, aka PGSD. This is a program designed to help you get out of your own way in your business. You’re going to learn how to release your perfectionism handbrake by setting a growth goal for your business, planning properly as a perfectionist with power planning and getting regular guilt free clean rest.

You’ll learn the skills required to get out of your own way and be supported every step of the way to do it. To find out more about the program and join the waitlist today, go to samlaurabrown.com/pgsd.


Author: Sam Brown